Ch. 461Why I Killed Myself
Key plot points
- Gao Ming reveals that he had deliberately erased his memories of Gao Yun before returning to Hanhai, so Fate—and Gao Ming himself—would not discover the baby’s identity. This concealment allowed Gao Yun to escape the murderer’s notice.
- A one-second Rewind lets Gao Ming see the murderer in the tunnel: a version of himself. As their identities collide, the murderer begins to disintegrate.
- Before vanishing, the murderer says that everything is spiraling out of control, that Gao Ming may be able to escape Fate, and that their real name is not Gao Ming. The loop that repeatedly brought Gao Ming back to the tunnel breaks.
- Gao Ming suspects the murderer was less Fate’s accomplice than a gatekeeper, killing failed versions of him while concealing a larger truth. He wonders whether the deaths may have helped prepare him, but remains uncertain.
- With no way back, Gao Ming takes the Class Thirteen students and ghosts aboard his school bus and sets out to leave Hanhai.
- The tunnel reveals two routes: an unfinished, ruined branch on the left and a familiar, intact tunnel on the right. The Spirit Medium’s divination suggests the route to the outside world has developed an unexpected breach in Fate’s plans.
Character developments and interactions
- Gao Ming moves from shock and grief over his repeated deaths toward determined action. Despite fearing what lies beyond Hanhai, he chooses to press forward.
- The murderer is revealed as Gao Ming’s double, but his motives remain ambiguous. His final words suggest he may have been protecting a secret—or preparing Gao Ming to escape Fate.
- Gao Yun remains absent, but Gao Ming’s memory-stripping plan is shown to have successfully hidden and protected him.
- Class Thirteen witnesses Gao Ming’s extraordinary history firsthand. The students are too stunned to speak as he drives them through a tunnel filled with his own corpses.
Significant themes
- Fate versus choice: Gao Ming’s escape becomes possible through an anomalous second that falls outside Fate’s script.
- Identity and hidden truth: The murderer’s claim that “our name isn’t actually Gao Ming” casts doubt on the protagonist’s identity and the meaning of his repeated lives.
- Death, preparation, and sacrifice: The murderer’s killings may have been both cruel and instrumental, forcing Gao Ming to grow stronger while guarding a truth.
- Moving forward into uncertainty: With the loop broken, Gao Ming must choose a path without knowing whether freedom lies beyond the tunnel—or whether greater dangers await.