Riding an Iron Staff to Heaven

Lingji Bodhisattva was a little stunned. He had not expected it to be this.

But it suited him perfectly. He was out of cigarettes too, so he could conveniently mooch some off Tang Sanzang.

"By Buddha's decree."

Lingji Bodhisattva answered, grabbed the cassock, and threw it on in no time.

Then he hurried anxiously toward the lower realm.

After taking two puffs, Buddha returned to his throne on Spirit Mountain and continued watching the Journey to the West group.

Flowing Sand River.

The water rippled faintly. Tang Yu secretly smiled, while Zhu Bajie glanced at Tang Yu as well.

"Why hasn't Wukong come back yet?"

Tang Yu casually remarked.

"Maybe Brother Monkey went farther away." Zhu Bajie silently tightened his grip on his rake.

At that moment, Tang Yu stood up. "Er Daizi, beat the hell out of him."

Zhu Bajie had long been ready. He raised his rake and smashed it into the river.

Sha Wujing, hiding beneath the water, was bewildered. He had no idea how he had been discovered.

He had been banished to the Flowing Sand River for many years. Still, every few decades, a scripture-seeking monk would pass this way, giving him something to sink his teeth into.

He had eaten all nine bald donkeys who had passed by, preparing them in all sorts of ways.

This time, he was still considering whether to steam this one or braise him.

After some thought, he decided to steam half of him. With just the right balance of fat and lean meat, dipped in some garlic paste.

It should taste wonderful.

He would dry the other half and make some cured meat or something, then slowly savor it.

At the thought, Sha Wujing started drooling.

But he discovered that this bald donkey had gotten smarter this time and had brought bodyguards.

A monkey and a pig.

Fortunately, the bald donkey had sent the monkey off to find food.

Still thinking about eating? I'll be the one eating you soon.

He quietly crept closer, but before he could make a move, the pig had already swung his rake at him.

He hurriedly raised his weapon to meet the attack.

Bang.

Sha Wujing felt a tremendous force strike him. Damn it. This pig demon was pretty powerful.

He was just about to dive back underwater and find another chance later to kill this scripture-seeker.

Then an iron staff suddenly shot straight up beneath his backside, carrying him skyward.

What was going on?

He sat atop Sun Wukong's Golden Cudgel, still somewhat dazed.

If this kept going, he would reach the Heavenly Court soon.

But going to the Heavenly Court was fine too. He could see those old friends from the past.

Thinking of that, Sha Wujing sat steadily on it.

He had not returned for so many years. He wondered how those old friends were doing. Would they still recognize Juan Lian?

Heavenly Court.

The Jade Emperor was holding morning court.

Just as he was about to speak, an iron staff suddenly flipped over the table in front of him.

The fruits and snacks atop it scattered across the floor.

The Jade Emperor trembled in fright.

Something that seemed to be a person was sitting atop the iron staff.

The immortals were all stunned, staring at the scene in disbelief.

"Hi, everyone."

Sha Wujing waved in greeting, but the iron staff did not stop. It continued carrying him upward.

Queen Mother was trying on clothes in her chambers.

She had no idea where that old bastard, the Jade Emperor, had gotten these clothes. They were making her terribly embarrassed.

Queen Mother's face was slightly flushed as she carefully examined herself in the bronze mirror.

These clothes were rather pretty. No wonder that old bastard, the Jade Emperor, had insisted that she wear them.

Hmph, old pervert.

Bang.

An iron staff burst through, making Queen Mother cry out in alarm.

Sha Wujing felt a little dissatisfied. What was this? He had made it to Heaven, yet he was not even allowed to catch up with his old friends?

Then a bad feeling rose in his heart.

I'm screwed.

Could this iron staff be about to ram him all the way to the Thirty-third Heaven?

At that moment, a scream came from beside him. He instinctively reached out and swept Queen Mother into his arms as they rose together with the iron staff.

Queen Mother had not even recovered from her shock. She had merely been trying on clothes—how dared someone barge into her chambers?

"Ah... Who are you? Release me at once!"

Queen Mother realized that she was being held in the arms of a big-bearded man and immediately screamed.

Flowing Sand River!

Sun Wukong leaped out of the river. He had actually returned long ago, but remembering Tang Yu's instructions, he had secretly hidden in the Flowing Sand River and caught the demon off guard.

Looking at the Golden Cudgel still rising, Sun Wukong laughed heartily. "Shrink."

The Golden Cudgel instantly appeared in Sun Wukong's hand. He raised his head and looked toward the sky.

"Wukong, nicely done." Tang Yu praised him.

Without the Golden Cudgel, Sha Wujing shot several more meters upward from inertia before rapidly plummeting down.

And he was still holding the scantily dressed Queen Mother in his arms.

In the Heavenly Court, everyone seemed not to have recovered from their shock yet.

But that seemed to be Sun Wukong's Golden Cudgel. What was going on?

Could that monkey be about to cause another Havoc in Heaven?

Before anyone could come to their senses, the Golden Cudgel vanished before their eyes. Then the bearded man fell from above as well, except this time, he was holding someone in his arms.

That seemed to be Queen Mother.

And what she was wearing seemed a little...

The Jade Emperor's face immediately turned ashen. At a glance, he recognized his wife, Queen Mother.

And she was wearing the clothes he had carefully selected and prepared.

Those clothes were supposed to be worn by the two of them in their private chambers, where he could secretly admire her. Now everyone had seen her.

The Jade Emperor felt as though he had been cuckolded, and by a whole crowd at that.

And who exactly was that bearded man?

Could Queen Mother have been having an affair with someone?

Her beloved was a bearded man who would one day ride an iron staff to marry her...

"Damn it! Find out who he is!"

The Jade Emperor was furious. That man had actually dared to hold his Queen Mother.

"Reporting to the Jade Emperor, it seems... it seems to be Juan Lian," Taibai Jinxing said.

Although Juan Lian had become such a mess, some people still recognized him at once.

"Li Jing!"

The Jade Emperor shouted.

"Your servant is here."

"I order you to immediately lead fifty thousand heavenly soldiers and capture Juan Lian. No, kill him outright!" the Jade Emperor said furiously.

No.

Queen Mother was dressed so revealingly. Would it not be even more humiliating if more people saw her?

"Gather two hundred thousand heavenly soldiers. I will go down with you."

The Jade Emperor was descending to the mortal realm. He had completely snapped.

As he held Queen Mother and fell rapidly, Sha Wujing was just about to use his magic to steady himself.

A golden light suddenly flashed beside him. A monkey wielding an iron staff swung it straight at his head. "Take this!"

Sha Wujing's brains burst out, and he died instantly.

Sun Wukong did not even spare him a glance. He appeared beside the Flowing Sand River and began cleaning a wild rabbit, preparing to roast it.

The wild rabbit was half-roasted when a small black dot slowly appeared high in the sky and grew larger and larger.

Splash.

Sha Wujing's corpse fell into the Flowing Sand River. After a long while, it floated back up and drifted faintly into the distance with the rolling waters...