What Kind of Group Is This?

After tasting that vicious milk tea, Xianyu had wanted to write a three-thousand-word forum post packed with outrageous lies about its flavor.

Ideally, he would praise it to the skies and lure more people into trying it.

Everyone deserved their comeuppance. They all needed to taste that milk tea that burned all the way down the esophagus!

But for now, he wasn't in the mood to trick anyone.

Xianyu needed to think carefully about how to repay Jingliu.

The Strale the Sword Champion had forcibly transferred to him wasn't a huge sum, but it wasn't small, either.

At least for people on the Luofu with modest incomes, spending that many Strale in one go would sting.

Perhaps to Jingliu, that money was less than a fraction of her monthly salary, but Xianyu couldn't accept it with a clear conscience.

Those were separate matters. Just because she wasn't short of money didn't mean he could milk her for all she was worth.

Xianyu had originally planned to treat her to a meal and call it even.

But as they talked, he sensed something was off and dragged Baiheng into it too...

That meant it couldn't count as a return gift for Jingliu. He would have to prepare something separately.

Xianyu opened his Jade Abacus and sank into thought as he stared at his sparsely populated contact list.

He had originally intended to ask Baiheng, taking advice from a social butterfly, but then he remembered the Foxian's excitable personality...

If Xianyu asked, Jingliu would probably know by the next day. The same went for Jing Yuan, so he had to be ruled out too.

That left very few people he could ask. He could only turn to the classmates he had met at the Academy.

Xianyu considered himself to be on pretty good terms with them.

He had established very friendly, mutually beneficial partnerships with his classmates' parents, fleecing every rich person on the Luofu.

Xianyu opened his chat with Classmate A.

[No Replies Outside Work Hours: Are there any suitable gifts for a friend of the opposite sex?]

[Classmate A: What kind of gift could possibly require you to deliver it personally, boss? I can get the prettiest flowers from the Sky-Faring Commission. 9,999 of them, guaranteed to satisfy you and the missus.]

Xianyu: "..."

This classmate had something wrong with his eyes. Time to try another.

He coldly rejected Classmate A and opened his chat with Classmate B.

[Classmate B: Boss, how about Abominations of Abundance? Every Xianzhou native who sees them approves! As it happens, my friend's in the Cloud Knights. He can help you cut down the freshest ones.]

Xianyu: "..."

He mercilessly rejected Classmate B and turned to Classmate C.

This time, Xianyu had learned his lesson. He repeatedly emphasized the word "friend."

[Classmate C: What? You're getting married, boss? What incredible woman managed to win your heart? When do we get to attend your wedding banquet?]

Xianyu couldn't take it anymore.

[No Replies Outside Work Hours: She's a friend! A friend! A friend!]

[Classmate C: What?! You're still just friends? Don't worry, boss. We'll help you come up with a plan to win that woman over! I think a Stellar Destroyer would be great. I happen to have connections.]

Did these people think friends of the opposite sex had to date?

Xianyu coldly and mercilessly rejected him, scrolled through his contacts, and spotted someone he didn't remember at all.

Both the username and avatar were completely unfamiliar.

Xianyu typed a message to test the waters.

[No Replies Outside Work Hours: Aha?]

[Hua: ...]

[Hua: I see. So the "Lord of Eternal Joy" was behind this. How much do you still remember?]

Seeing this stranger's reaction, Xianyu breathed a sigh of relief.

Definitely not Aha.

If it were Aha, the response definitely wouldn't have been this normal.

The other person's tone was calm, and the wording suggested they had known each other in his previous life.

Wait, could this be a child I raised in my previous life...?

Recalling Aha's odd behavior before leaving, Xianyu felt anger well up inside him. Aha, you were behind this again!

He watched the typing indicator and hesitated, unsure what to say.

The other person didn't press him further, instead asking Xianyu a question.

[Hua: What do you need?]

Hoping to learn more about the other person, Xianyu decided to ask them for help.

[No Replies Outside Work Hours: Oh, it's nothing major.]

[Hua: What, did you finally give in and rebel?]

Xianyu was utterly shocked.

He nearly dropped the Jade Abacus in his hand.

What do you mean, did I finally give in and rebel?

Would overthrowing the entire Luofu not count as anything major to Hua?

What kind of person did I raise?!

[No Replies Outside Work Hours: ...No, I want to give a female friend a gift in return, but I don't know what to get.]

[Hua: ...]

The other person sent only an ellipsis, seemingly speechless at Xianyu's words, then tossed him a link.

[Hua: Busy. Message me again once an Emanator-level enemy invades the Luofu.]

Xianyu: "..."

Once an Emanator-level enemy invades the Luofu?

That was even less likely than Imbibitor Lunae and the other four running into trouble one after another.

Why not just tell me not to contact you...?

Xianyu glanced at the other person's status message.

[Busy. Away from my post. Book appointments 180 days in advance.]

At that moment, he felt like an empty nester sitting idle at home after retirement, craving attention from his children.

After finally making it to Lunar New Year's Eve, he thought he could get in touch with them, only to find they were too busy working to spare him any time.

All he could do was sit alone, sighing over dumplings reheated so many times their wrappers had split. "Busy, everyone's busy. Being busy is good..."

Xianyu had wanted to ask whether the other person was male or female, but seeing how swamped Hua seemed, he abandoned the idea and quietly replied with an okay.

He opened the link Hua had shared and entered an unfamiliar forum.

The forum's users seemed to be all women, and their posts were much the same.

They were either sharing their troubles with dating and marriage or discussing topics like outfits and makeup.

Xianyu searched through the forum and found a gift recommendation post, using the amount Jingliu had given him as a budget to pick out something suitable.

After looking for ages, Xianyu still hadn't found anything suitable.

Only after doubling his gift budget did he finally settle on something.

It was an incense ornament beloved by many of the forum's female users, shaped remarkably like the moon back home.

Besides serving as an incense burner and decoration, it could also function as a night-light when plugged in.

Jingliu didn't have many decorations at home, so this gift would fit nicely in her room.

He gave the seller's photos a quick glance, ignored the size measurements marked on them, and placed the order, entering Jingliu's home as the delivery address.

Just after he finished paying, his Jade Abacus vibrated.

An anonymous account had added Xianyu's account to a group chat.

It was called "One Big Cosmic Family."

He waited and waited, but no one said a word.

Was this a bunch of kidney-stealing criminals, or romance scammers selling tea?

Xianyu typed a message.

[No Replies Outside Work Hours: What kind of group is this?]

[A Piece of Scrap Metal: ?]

[Aha: Hahahahaha! Surprised? Didn't see that coming, did you!]

[A Piece of Scrap Metal: ...]

[Aha has been removed from the group chat by "A Piece of Scrap Metal."]

[You have been removed from the group chat by "A Piece of Scrap Metal."]