[Hanhan's getting smoother and smoother at cussing people out. As a mom fan, I'm so proud.]
[Meng Han never used to be like this. Was all that sweet, sensible, obedient stuff an act? His persona's fallen apart, hasn't it?]
[What, people aren't allowed to change?]
[Can't he switch lanes?]
[Pfft, sure, but I think the show needs a new name. Forget Idiots, Let's Go. Call it Idiots, Let's Start Cussing!]
[Perfect! Now that's the vibe!]
[Wait, are we just moving past Old Luo Third and Old Luo Fourth keeping a college boy and having no stamina?!]
[Hahaha, you're still thinking about that? I doubt they'll move past it. Can't you see those two are still muttering away?]
As the comments reached this point, the camera obligingly panned over.
Sure enough, it caught Luo Yu looking downright sinister as he demanded of Luo Chenghai, "The college student you told me about was him?!"
"You could actually bring yourself to touch someone like that?"
Luo Chenghai tugged at the corner of his mouth. "You could. Why couldn't I?"
"That was-" Luo Yu was momentarily at a loss for words. "Who told our eldest brother to start messing around with some minor celebrity first!"
"Leave me out of your business," Luo Chen said with an aloof, haughty smile. "With my status, I hardly need to keep anyone."
"Even if you wanted to, they'd have to agree, wouldn't they?" Luo Yu glanced over, his tone mocking.
Luo Chen's expression darkened. "At least I didn't let someone collect two paychecks from the Luo Family."
He turned to Luo Ming. "Wouldn't you agree, second brother?"
"Mm." Luo Ming nodded slowly, his voice languid and perfunctory. He raised a hand to stroke his chin, frowning in thought. "Why didn't Assistant Chen pick me? Could he be outside the scope of the task?"
"But I clearly saw him vote."
Luo Chen: "..." Still that fixated on my special assistant?!
Old Luo Third: "..." Is he so devoted to the company that he's trying to poach someone?!
Old Luo Fourth: "..." Having almost become a lovesick fool, why do I suddenly feel so ashamed?!
[Hahaha, Ergou is never on the same wavelength as them!]
[Of course. Assistant Chen is all Ergou has room for in his heart!]
[Who says this isn't a dating show? They're handing out sugar at every turn. Isn't it sickeningly sweet?]
[I want to know who Assistant Chen picked too. Does he have to do the task?]
[Didn't you hear the host explain? Anyone who wants to board the cruise ship has to earn their ticket!]
[Aaaaah, thirst traps, thirst traps! I don't care who he's paired with. I just want to see Assistant Chen put on a thirst trap!]
Director Meng, behind the monitors, clearly wanted to see it too. He earnestly tried to persuade him. "Assistant Chen, you don't even need to change. Just undo a few buttons on your white shirt and swivel your hips at the camera a few times."
"It doesn't matter if you can keep up with the beat. Just wear a lace blindfold."
Chen Bei wagged a finger. "No, no, no."
"I'm just the supervisor. Performing isn't my job."
"I'll pay extra, extra! The price is negotiable!" Director Meng gritted his teeth, looking ready to go all out.
"Then again," Chen Bei said, lowering his finger, "a supervisor who can't dance isn't a good special assistant."
He curled his lips into a faint smile. "The usual rules. Payment first, performance second."
With that, Chen Bei walked away.
Director Meng's ingratiating smile vanished completely, his lips moving in silent curses.
Then Chen Bei abruptly looked back. "The money still hasn't arrived?"
Director Meng hurriedly shouted at his assistant, "Transfer it right now! How can you keep Teacher Chen waiting?!"
"Keep doing such a lousy job and I'll fire you!"
"Yes, yes, yes!" The assistant hurriedly pulled out his phone to make the transfer, muttering inwardly, You only fucking know how to throw your weight around with me!
Only when he heard the WeChat transfer notification did Chen Bei curl his lips in satisfaction. "A pleasure doing business, Director Meng."
"A pleasure, a pleasure!"
Just leave already, you money-grubbing fiend!
No sooner had Director Meng finally sent him off than the director of the Idiots variety show came over to sneer. "I never knew my junior was so generous, granting every demand of a guest who jacks up his price on the spot."
Director Meng turned around. "Do you have any idea how popular Assistant Chen is right now?"
"How much would the ratings drop without his thirst traps?"
"Such an awesome director as you, Brother Shit, and you can't predict even that?"
Yang Shuo was unimpressed. "Aren't you exaggerating? He's just a company employee. He hasn't even debuted. How much can his popularity amount to? The buzz will be gone in a flash."
Director Meng disagreed. "Assistant Chen already has a fan club. Debuting is just a formality."
"Forget it, let's not discuss this. I only came to tell you..." Yang Shuo handed over the proposal he was holding. "Don't let anything go wrong on the cruise ship tonight. Some industry big shots will be joining incognito too. It might have a bearing on the year-end awards."
Director Meng hurriedly took it. "Industry big shots?! How come I didn't hear about this?!"
Yang Shuo curled his lips. "Junior, you still have a lot to learn."
With that, he left the Production Crew with his tail in the air.
Director Meng cursed quietly at his retreating back. "What a fucking poser!"
The final draw results came out.
Qiu Chen and Yu Qingqing were a team.
Lu Ze and Luo Chen were a team.
Yue Lianshan and Meng Han were a team.
Luo Yu and Luo Chenghai were a team.
Qin Yufan and Luo Ming were a team.
Chen Bei drew a bye.
[Yay! Assistant Chen gets to shine solo!]
[The disgust on Ergou's face is plain to see!]
[Didn't Qin Yufan say Ergou liked him? When he confessed to the eldest brother, Ergou even ran off heartbroken!]
[That was cleared up ages ago. Ergou had to go because he had diarrhea!]
[Haha, these domineering CEOs sure have a lot of embarrassing ailments!]
They all worked in entertainment or had studied dance for a few years, so a little provocative dancing was no trouble.
With the crowds growing as noon approached, the newly paired guests picked their spots to perform for money.
After a quick rehearsal, they started the music.
The songs were all Douyin hits, and the moment the music played, people began gathering.
They had clearly watched the livestream too, and their loud plotting rang out nonstop.
"Isn't that the Oily President? He's actually paired with the college boy both his younger brothers kept? Oh boy, what kind of cursed fate is this?!"
"A venomous tongue paired with a plastic-surgery face. It's practically smacking me in the face."
"Will the brothers start fighting while they're doing their thirst traps? Their tastes sure match."
"Go, Hanhan! I love the way you cuss people out. Stick with that persona!"
"Ergou, Ergou, you're the biggest dog of the four young masters!"
"Do your pheromones smell like Erguotou?! Can you answer that here and now?!"
"Biluochun, are you a vintage 1982 green-tea bitch?!"
"..."
[Where did these viewers come from? They're so badass! They'll ask anything?!]
[Hahaha, I'm dying. Vintage 1982 green tea? You really fucking know how to insult someone!]
[Where's Assistant Chen? Isn't being in a team by himself a bit of a disadvantage?]
[He's coming, he's coming! Assistant Chen is striding out!]
[Still in a white shirt and black dress pants?]
[I fucking love that refined, buttoned-up vibe!]
Chen Bei set the speaker in front of him and casually undid his collar buttons, his beautifully contoured collarbones flickering into view. A black leather belt circled his lean, firm waist, hanging so loosely it looked as if it might fall off at any moment.
Wearing white gloves, he gave a tentative wiggle, and screams suddenly rose all around him.
"Aaaaah, Assistant Chen, you're so sexy-"
"Aaaaaah-"
Expressionless, Chen Bei switched on the speaker, then called out,
"Big, sweeping moves-the Qinghai Shake, for all of you!"
[...Assistant Chen, have you misunderstood what a thirst trap is?]
Before you continue