The screen did not stop over this little bit of warmth.
In the footage, Natsuki Subaru lowered his head again.
Shaula found him the next Book of the Dead.
The instant the pages opened, Natsuki Subaru swayed on the screen, but quickly caught the bookshelf and forced himself to stand steady.
Only after a long time did he raise his hand and draw a line beside one of the names in his notebook.
One line after another.
The mood Emilia and Betty had barely managed to lift sank again, little by little.
In the chat, Ram's words suddenly appeared.
[Ram: How beautifully put.]
[Ram: But the people who were killed won't come back to life just because you put it beautifully.]
Betty's gaze turned completely cold.
[Betty: Ram.]
[Betty: Do you really know what you're saying?]
[Ram: Does Lady Beatrice think Ram is wrong?]
[Ram: Didn't the villagers die because of Barusu?]
[Betty: Betty never said Subaru was right.]
[Betty: But Ram, you only saw Subaru reach that point, and you think that gives you the right to stand on the sidelines making snide remarks, I suppose.]
[Ram: Snide remarks?]
[Ram: Ram is only stating facts.]
[Ram: Whatever else you might say, at least Ram wouldn't treat innocent people as tools and casually kill them.]
Ram's words paused for a moment, as though she had remembered something.
[Ram: It was the same when Barusu lost his memories and forgot Rem as though it were only natural.]
[Ram: He remembered nothing, knew nothing, and then put on a face as though he was suffering too.]
[Ram: Poor Rem.]
After those words appeared, the air in the room froze.
Natsuki Subaru said nothing.
He did not remember Rem.
So he did not even know what expression he should wear in the face of those words.
But Betty's hands tightened noticeably around his arm.
[Betty: Ram.]
[Betty: Of course Rem deserves sympathy.]
[Betty: But the Subaru sitting here now hasn't done anything yet.]
[Betty: Don't you think it's far too convenient to heap future sins directly onto the Subaru of the present?]
[Ram: Isn't this simply Barusu's true nature?]
[Betty: Subaru is the one who lost his memories.]
[Betty: Subaru is the one who knows he will die.]
[Betty: Subaru is also the one you all demand should remember, stand up, and keep moving forward.]
[Betty: Why is it that when it comes to Rem, you know to feel for her.]
[Betty: But when it comes to Subaru, all you have left is "how convenient"?]
Ram did not reply immediately.
But Betty continued, as though she could finally no longer hold herself back:
[Betty: Betty doesn't think the Subaru on the screen is right.]
[Betty: Nor did Betty say the villagers' deaths don't matter.]
[Betty: But Ram.]
[Betty: It's far too unfair to count only the suffering of the people you care about.]
After those words, no one in the chat immediately responded.
Only after a while did Otto's words slowly appear.
[Otto: Miss Ram.]
[Otto: I cannot offer forgiveness on Reikin's behalf.]
[Otto: But if all we do is stand on the sidelines berating Mr. Natsuki, nothing will change in the end.]
[Otto: The reason Mr. Natsuki on the screen reached that point is precisely because he felt there was no one who could share the burden.]
[Ram: So that makes it all right to kill other people?]
[Otto: That is not what I said!]
Otto's words appeared a little faster than before.
[Otto: I am only saying that understanding the cause and approving of the outcome are two different things!]
[Julius: Otto is right.]
[Julius: I made the same mistake just now.]
[Julius: I concluded that he had "gone mad" before seeing his purpose clearly.]
[Julius: So I apologize.]
[Julius: My apology is not meant to defend that path.]
[Julius: It is so I can stand before Subaru before he truly heads down it.]
Ram's words stopped for a while.
Then new words appeared.
[Ram: In the end, you are only willing to make excuses for him because that person is Barusu.]
[Ram: If the person sitting at the village entrance were not him, would you still say these things?]
Betty raised her eyes.
[Betty: You had better remember those words, Ram.]
The chat fell silent again.
No one responded.
But Natsuki Subaru on the screen had already picked up the next Book of the Dead.
As though, so long as he did not stop, he could piece the person named "Natsuki Subaru" back together, bit by bit.
But everyone outside the screen could see that what he was piecing back together was not just memories, but more and more suffering that did not belong to him.
"No matter what, I have to get 'Natsuki Subaru' back, then meet you all again, see you again, and start over.
"Only after realizing I'd lost everything did I learn that it was what mattered most, but now it's too late. The things I held in my hands were irreplaceable. Why didn't I notice even when the burden I carried grew lighter? Only after everything was taken away, after it was beyond recovery, did I ask why..."
Natsuki Subaru muttered.
Beside him, Emilia watched Natsuki Subaru with a complicated expression that even he could not read.
By rights, she should have understood him, comforted him, and told him that all he needed to do was get "Natsuki Subaru" back.
But she did not speak right away.
She only watched him with those purple eyes, her gaze holding both sympathy and an indescribable hesitation.
Natsuki Subaru suddenly grew uneasy.
He did not understand.
It was his own fantasy, the Emilia inside his own mind, so why would she still show an expression that seemed as though she did not know how to accept him?
That expression still stirred Natsuki Subaru's unease.
What was Emilia considering, what was she thinking, and how should she accept the Natsuki Subaru he was now?
"Master! I found the next book! Hurry up and praise me!" Shaula called loudly, interrupting the question Natsuki Subaru was still pondering.
"Ah, yes, good job. You're amazing, Shaula."
Natsuki Subaru answered reflexively.
Shaula threw herself at him, forcibly ending his conversation with Emilia.
Natsuki Subaru gently stroked her head, as though petting a puppy seeking a reward from its owner.
Shaula obligingly nuzzled Natsuki Subaru's hand as well.
With his other hand, Natsuki Subaru took the book Shaula was holding and said without thinking, "How many memories of Natsuki Subaru will there be in this book?"
All the atrocities were committed for this. These were necessary sacrifices. Even if it was only objective, one-sided information, that was fine. Gather it all and bring it closer to taking shape...
An assessment was something decided by measuring someone against other people's standards. Precisely for that reason, if he could establish everyone's standards and measure an individual with every ruler, he should be able to reconstruct that person too-reclaim "Natsuki Subaru."
For Natsuki Subaru, this took priority. Everything else was done for this purpose. The sacrifices so far went without saying, but the sacrifices from now on, or anything else, were necessary acts to get "Natsuki Subaru" back.
If I can reclaim that "Natsuki Subaru," if... it's you, you'll find a way to solve everything. Besides Emilia, Betty, Ram, Meili, and Julius, the memories of so many other people connected to you all want you to return.
So if it's you, you should have that kind of power. So use that power-save me. Please, you hero, Natsuki Subaru. If you're a hero, help me.
"Subaru always helps me and finds a way to solve everything. You're my knight."
"If it weren't for Subaru, Betty would probably still be guarding the forbidden library alone."
"If you hadn't interfered, mister, my job definitely wouldn't have failed."
"Subaru, you probably haven't realized it, but you saved me. The way you live is also a path of hope for me."
I know you all love "Natsuki Subaru." I know you all treasure "Natsuki Subaru." I know how amazing the "Natsuki Subaru" who saved you was.
I'm aware of it. I know I've ruined everything the "Natsuki Subaru" who saved you did. So I have to find him again.
All I have to do is find "Natsuki Subaru" again. As long as I do that, everything will go smoothly.
After hearing Natsuki Subaru's inner voice, everyone outside the screen wore complicated expressions, and the argument that had not yet entirely died down suddenly stopped.