Douluo: Everyone Has a System? Everyone's Absurd!
Chapter 14

A Crushing Blow! Monkey Steals the Peach?

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(Beautiful picture of Xiao Wu)

Tang San shut his eyes, clenched his teeth, and stood motionless like a block of wood.

"I won't dodge Divine Departure. I'm more badass than a god!"

Ma Hongjun: "Wait-"

Bang!

A crisp sound rang out, like a chicken flying off as its eggs were smashed!

Tang San felt the eggs crack against his head.

[Ding, head slightly strengthened!]

Then Ma Hongjun landed butt-first on Tang San's face.

An indescribable stench hit Tang San in the face, nearly killing him on the spot.

Ma Hongjun, meanwhile, howled in pain, his eyes turning red. "Fuck!!!"

The spectators below the stage all gasped.

"Why didn't Tang San dodge? Could it be he wanted a whiff?"

The spectators couldn't help feeling a tightening in their lower bodies. The other Shrek members watching the match all frowned in disgust. "Eww~"

Ma Hongjun jumped up in pain, clutching his crotch with both hands, his face twisted.

Still lying on the ground, Tang San wiped the butt print off his face and glared fiercely. "You've already found your path to death!"

He then sent several darts flying from his hand!

"Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh!"

Cold light flashed, and every dart buried itself in Ma Hongjun's butt!

Ma Hongjun: "Ah!!! Fuck!"

The Xiao Jue System popped up with a ding-

[Wrath fragments detected leaking out. Recovering immediately!] [Ding, recovered 2 Wrath Points!] [One of the Seven Deadly Sins, Wrath, has been unlocked!] [Martial Soul obtained: Satan, Sin of Wrath!] [Current Wrath Points: 2] [Martial Soul bonuses: greatly increased strength! Greatly increased explosive power!] [The higher the Wrath Points, the greater the bonuses!]

Xiao Jue was ecstatic. Another one unlocked! Five of the Seven Deadly Sins are unlocked now!

Ma Hongjun howled in pain, fury rising in his heart. "Raging Rhino!"

Clutching his butt, he began stomping wildly at Tang San, his fat body like a tank out of control.

"Bang, bang, bang!"

Stomped black and blue all over, Tang San scurried about with his arms over his head.

He seized the moment when Ma Hongjun missed a stomp and slipped out between his legs.

His eyes were bloodshot, and he panted like an ox. Today had been an utter humiliation!

He used Controlling Crane Capturing Dragon to strike the back of Ma Hongjun's knee.

Ma Hongjun dropped to one knee.

Tang San sneered. "It's over!"

He flipped to his feet, ready to drive his knee into Ma Hongjun's head.

That blow would probably decide the winner.

Naturally, Xiao Jue wouldn't let that happen.

Beelzebub, Sin of Gluttony: Martial Soul Possession!

Beelzebub was the Lord of the Flies!

Several flies flew out, buzzing.

Although Xiao Jue also found the things a little disgusting, it was a Martial Soul, so he had to use it when needed.

The flies flew above Tang San's head and began circling wildly.

Just as Tang San was about to attack, the flies swarmed him. "Damn, where did all these flies come from?!"

Below the stage, Oscar shouted at the top of his lungs, "Tang San, haven't you bathed lately? You stink so much you've attracted flies!"

His words set off a burst of laughter among the spectators.

Many people pinched their noses shut.

Xiao Wu, Ning Rongrong, and Zhu Zhuqing also pinched their noses in disgust.

The laughter turned Tang San's face bright red, and he flailed his arms in a panic, trying to drive the flies away.

At that moment, Ma Hongjun reacted, and an Ah Fu System move activated automatically!

"Monkey Steals the Peach!"

Still on one knee, Ma Hongjun reached straight for Tang San's crotch.

Ma Hongjun: "Have a taste of that yourself!"

Tang San: "Ah!!!"

Ma Hongjun: "Elephant Kick!"

His fat leg lashed out, kicking Tang San off the arena!

Bang!

Tang San hit the ground, utterly dazed!

Ma Hongjun grinned crookedly. The Ah Fu System is too powerful!

[Move usage has met the requirements!] [Reward obtained! One random Talisman!] [Obtained: Chicken Talisman] [Function: levitation!]

Ma Hongjun's eyes lit up. Great! I can fly! I'm not a ground chicken anymore!

The Chicken Talisman appeared in Ma Hongjun's hand.

He levitated smugly, floating in midair like a fat balloon.

But he hadn't quite mastered it. His fat body swayed back and forth, and before long he fell with a splat.

Xiao Jue, of course, had a keen eye and noticed the oddity.

He narrowed his eyes and stared fixedly at the Talisman in Ma Hongjun's hand.

"Holy shit, is that a... Talisman in Ma Hongjun's hand?!"

A trace of greed flashed in Xiao Jue's eyes.

"No, I have to get my hands on that thing!"

Just then, the system panel popped up again:

[Ding, mission complete. Recover 10 Envy Points!] [Ding, recovered 10 Envy Points!] [One of the Seven Deadly Sins, Envy, has been unlocked!] [Martial Soul obtained: Leviathan, Sin of Envy!] [Current Envy Points: 10] [Martial Soul bonuses: increased spiritual power! Increased insight!] [The higher the Envy Points, the greater the bonuses!] [The Martial Soul Leviathan, Sin of Envy, has reached level 10. Soul Ring obtained automatically!]

Xiao Jue's eyes lit up. One of them has finally reached level ten. I finally have a Soul Skill to use!

Over with the Shrek Academy group.

They were discussing teams for two-on-two matches.

Tang San looked at Xiao Wu and said gently, "Xiao Wu, let's go register."

But Xiao Wu wrapped an arm around Zhu Zhuqing's and huffed. "No, I'm teaming up with Zhu Zhuqing."

Tang San grew anxious. "Huh? Xiao Wu, don't go..."

Dai Mubai was a Soul Elder, while the other six were all Soul Grandmasters, so he couldn't team up with any of them either.

Oscar sidled up to Ning Rongrong and said with a grin, "Rongrong, want to team up with me?"

Not to be outdone, Ma Hongjun squeezed in. "Rongrong, team up with me! Little Oscar, how can a food-type like you lead Rongrong to victory? I'll carry you to victory!"

Ning Rongrong looked at the two sleazeballs and rolled her eyes. "I, Ning Rongrong, would rather team up with a stranger than either of you!"

Tang San looked at Ning Rongrong and hurriedly said, "Rongrong, I can do it! What happened in my fight with Ma Hongjun was just an accident!"

Ning Rongrong ignored him completely, her gaze drifting outside.

Wait, that figure... Little Xiaozi?

She saw Xiao Jue walking toward the registration desk!

Why is he here? Is he a Soul Master too? Or did he come to watch the matches?

Ning Rongrong's eyes lit up. Ignoring the three of them, she ran toward Xiao Jue.

Oscar looked utterly baffled. "She really went to find a stranger?"

Ma Hongjun gritted his teeth. "Damn it. Forget it, there'll be plenty of chances later. Little Oscar, let's team up."

He put an arm around Oscar's shoulders.

Oscar sighed. "All right, I guess we have no choice."

Tang San and Dai Mubai were left staring at each other.

Dai Mubai shrugged. "I can't team up with you."

Then he walked away too.

Tang San: "No..."

At the Soul Master registration desk.

Xiao Jue registered his information, filling in "Seven Sins" for his name.

Just as he finished registering, Ning Rongrong ran over and called out excitedly, "Little Xiaozi!"

Xiao Jue jumped in fright and hurriedly pulled her aside. "Rongrong? How did you know it was me?!"

Ning Rongrong looked at his tall, straight figure. Although he wore a mask, she could still tell he was ridiculously handsome.

"Of course I'd recognize your build! And aren't those the clothes I bought you?"

Only then did Xiao Jue remember. It seemed that even here, it wasn't like on television, where putting on a mask made someone unrecognizable.

Ning Rongrong asked curiously, "You registered your Soul Master information? You're a Soul Master too?"

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