A Strange Turn of Events

Wood had a very enlightening evening.

It started because they were about to play Slytherin, and Wood was worried they might lose. He worried about losing every time, because the Slytherins always managed to catch him off guard with some underhanded trick and knock him out of the game early.

After losing for so many years, Wood just wanted to win once. Gryffindor hadn't won since Charlie graduated, and he didn't want the streak to end on his watch.

But that evening, Wood looked at the mysterious phone.

He looked at another, smaller group besides the main one:

Has Wood Finally Seen the Light Today?

He really didn't understand why his fans liked calling him Wood, either.

Both groups were buzzing with conversation. To be honest, Wood rarely paid attention to their messages, but today he had to take a look. What if they had information on the other side? So Wood resolutely picked up the phone and began thinking about what his first message should be.

I Am a Worm on Wood: Another day of loving my senior Wood.

Wang Qiu: If I ever got the chance, I'd really love to see a Quidditch match in person /tears

I Am Wood's Dog: Yeah, I want to see our senior play in person.

I Am a Worm on Wood: LMAO I'd faint on the spot.

Wang Qiu: LMAO within three minutes Wood would be on his knees begging me not to die.

Hello Everyone, My Name Is Quidditch: ? Don't just drink, have some food too.

Wood Is in My Bed: Don't be like that. Our senior finally managed to coax me into a good mood.

I Am Wood's Dog: How much cephalosporin would you have to take for this?

I Am a Worm on Wood: Is this the Peaches of Immortality banquet?

Wang Qiu: Even Wood would look at this and say, I don't have fans like you.

Must Win This Year: Speaking of which, who won the Quidditch match in Harry's first year?

I Am a Worm on Wood: Bro, that question of yours...

I Am Wood's Dog: Makes you look really unprofessional. Also, this is a Wood fan group, remember? But Gryffindor definitely won!

Wang Qiu: Poor Senior Wood. He got knocked out of the game after just two balls.

Hello Everyone, I Am Quidditch: But the way he raised his eyebrows after blocking that shot was so handsome, boohoo.

Wood Is in My Bed: Fuck, he was so hot I sat down and did twenty push-ups.

Stone Sparrow: Seriously, I really want to transmigrate and watch a Quidditch match. If I can't, someone else could transmigrate and livestream it for us.

Wood's Underpants: Calm down. Hogwarts blocks electronic devices.

Must Win This Year: ?

Wood's Flying Broomstick: If I transmigrate, please let me become the broomstick under Wood-

Wang Qiu: Teacher Broomstick, calm down! This is a public place!

Wood Is in My Bed: Calm down, teacher. You can't just say things like that.

Wood's Underpants: Exactly. What if the real Wood saw it? That would be a terrible look.

Wang Qiu: Although that's pretty unlikely, haha.

In front of the screen, Wood fell silent. He stared at Wood's Underpants and sank into thought. These people really were very strange.

He really was a fool for expecting to find advice in his own fan group.

Then the group naturally moved on to talking about Quidditch, and Wood was astounded by what he read. They knew exactly what dirty tricks the Slytherins would pull, and Wood took notes furiously as he read.

He stayed up the whole night and thoroughly figured out the other side's weaknesses and what might happen in Quidditch over the next few years.

This group was a treasure trove!

Wood thought, his eyes shining despite the dark circles under them.

Whether it's accurate or not, I, Wood, believe it.

"He really was a fool for expecting to find advice in his own fan group."

Ahem. In any case, Wood had gained a great deal that night. He brought the notes he'd spent the whole night making straight to practice the next day.

He used them to work out a reasonable training plan for the team. Although the people in the group said Gryffindor would definitely win this time and there was no need to analyze it, because Harry had joined them and they were sure to win, Wood didn't quite agree. Leave the whole victory to Harry? Then what were the rest of them there for?

If having Harry meant they could win, did that mean the rest of them didn't need to train?

Wood completely disagreed with that idea. Victory belonged to the team, and no matter how good Harry was, they wouldn't train any less! Still, he was happy to see messages wishing them victory.

Fred: Seriously, let's have a little less of that.

Fred, for whom Quidditch was fun but training was painful, put on a mask of pain.

One of the few pleasures in his life was watching the group go wild, as well as snatching Wood's phone to watch other people's fan groups go wild.

After a while, Fred was assimilated by the group too. Seeing those people make bold remarks every day, he cried, "Put some pants on!"

Then, two days before the Quidditch match, the new professor finally arrived at Hogwarts. That day, the students happily came to the Great Hall, ready to get a look at the new professor. Thanks to the publicity from certain people with phones, the most popular candidate so far was the legendary, widely praised Professor Lupin.

Although they didn't know who he was, even those people from another dimension thought highly of him, which meant he was a very good teacher.

The second most popular candidate, but one who drew sharply divided opinions, was the one called Lockhart.

Most of the girls, including Hermione, had already seen their idol's image crumble. Others didn't believe it and insisted that Lockhart had some ability.

Weasley, that business genius, organized a bet among the students on who would become the new professor. It was hard to imagine that even the people placing bets were so sharply divided.

Most of those who bet on Lupin were boys, while most of those who bet on Lockhart were girls. Harry bet on Lupin, for no other reason than that Lupin was his father's friend.

Hermione agonized over the two for a long time before suddenly coming to her senses and deciding not to bet.

"Why are you so sure the professor has to be one of those two?" she asked the twins. They gave her mysterious, wicked grins. "We never said it had to be one of them. We only asked which of the two they thought it might be."

They really had mastered the art of word games.

Hermione was left speechless.

Wood had been busy adjusting tactics these past few days.

George thought they could livestream the Quidditch match to the group and make them doubt their eyes, but Wood disagreed and said:

"Are you sure they'll be able to see our match clearly if you start a livestream?"

Wood's sincere response left George at a loss for words. For a moment, he couldn't think of a comeback.

In the end, they decided to have Ron take a few photos to dazzle the people in the group.

After all, if they were going to reveal their identities, they had to be fully prepared. Otherwise, what if nobody believed them? Didn't they have to release information bit by bit?

George was very confident in his grasp of Muggle literature.

As it turned out, the new professor really was that fucking Lockhart.

Ron's stomach hurt. He felt his exams were doomed this year.

Although he hadn't been doing that well to begin with.

Harry was endlessly disappointed. Why wasn't it Lupin...?

Hermione looked at Lockhart on the platform, smiling and basking in the spotlight, and felt conflicted about her idol's image crumbling. Not many people had actually bet on Lockhart, and most of them were girls, but judging by the applause, the twins had somehow made a small profit this time.

That blond head instantly became much easier on the eyes.

Fred and George laughed heartily as they applauded the gold coins in their pockets. Their applause was so enthusiastic that anyone who didn't know better would have thought they were fans of the man. (Lockhart looked at Gryffindor a little more warmly.)

Let's light a candle for the twins in advance.

The mood over at Ravenclaw was rather gloomy. They seemed unwilling to admit that this kind of person was their professor, and a Ravenclaw alumnus at that.

The moment Cho thought of that introduction, she felt so embarrassed she wanted to bury her head in the ground.

How had the Sorting Hat ever sorted him into their house?

Sorting Hat: Maybe he was especially talented at spouting nonsense.

Otherwise, look, he wouldn't have been suited to any of the other houses either.

The Slytherins made no attempt to hide their disdain.

"They call that thing a professor?" Blaise looked stunned. Draco frowned. "We're not going to have this guy teach us Defence Against Dark Magic Class from now on, are we?"

Pansy looked skeptical. "I seriously doubt that guy can even say a spell properly, although the books he wrote are very entertaining."

"One look tells you he's all show. My family has heard through the grapevine that he's not nearly as impressive as he looks." Theodore was having trouble eating.

Blaise, on the other hand, seemed eager to stir things up. He secretly raised his phone and took a picture of the man. "Why don't we send it to the group and let them judge?"

With that, he tossed the picture he'd just taken into the main group.

Zabini: Recognize him, everyone?

Elegant Little Snake: ?

Professor Snape Doesn't Wash His Hair: Good grief, this cosplay is amazing.

Kerun: How did he manage to make me want to punch him?

Bug Ming: He even has the mannerisms down a little too well.

James-Brand Shampoo: Holy Crap! Disgrace! Take my blade!

Professor Snape Doesn't Wash His Hair: Fuck, calm down.

A Goofball for Hogwarts: Calm down, sis!

Elegant Little Snake: Good grief, when was this production still taken? Or is it...?

Magpie: Are the big shots filming again?

Cup of Wine y: What? What? Which platform? I'll go check it out.

My Younger Brother Isn't as Handsome as Me: Good grief, how did you post before me?

Flat-Top Girl Who Loves Strawberries: ! So they really are filming?

The Mood Is Off: 666, big shots. He's got that bastard Lockhart's mannerisms down way too well.

I Am the Shou: Looking at him makes me want to punch him.

Kerun: I feel so immersed I've already clenched my fists.

Must Win This Year: ...? That bad?

Bug Ming: You bet.

I Am a Worm on Wood: This guy's a really terrible teacher.

Damn Muggle: For once, I agree with you.

After reading through the messages, Blaise looked up at Lockhart, who was still speaking with an oily smile all over his face, and felt a headache coming on.

For once, Draco agreed with the people in the group.

It was just that what this guy said was a little irritating.

But the messages quickly pushed it up the screen, so not many people noticed what he'd said.

Group members, you missed so much.

A merciless laugh from the author.

Fred was indignant. That Zabini from the other house had beaten him to posting a picture and mocking the man. Damn it, he'd actually been a step too slow.

Dumbledore's Most, Most, Most, Most Favorite Student: Speaking of which...

Dumbledore's Most, Most, Most, Most Favorite Student: I'd really like to see what would happen if our Mr. Grindelwald became a student in Defence Against Dark Magic Class.

The group suddenly fell silent for a moment.

Wood and the others were trying to remember who Grindelwald was.

GGAD's Runaway Marriage Certificate: Hahahahahahaha!! I'm dying laughing!

Bug Ming: Fuck, what a god-tier idea?!

Green Apple Paradise t22: Great author, here's the pen, you write it.

Three Meals a Day: ? What? What? Is there new food?

Some of those who knew more had their worldviews shaken. Blaise nearly blurted out "fuck," but his excellent upbringing made him swallow it. That was the first-generation Dark Lord! The kind even Voldemort would have to step aside for!

Come take Defence Against Dark Magic Class with them?!

Why didn't they just say Voldemort should come take the class too?!

Hermione was so shocked she nearly dropped her phone.

Ron looked at the group members laughing and joking wildly and said in confusion, "Who is Grindelwald?" Hermione looked at him as though he were an idiot. "Don't you ever read? He was a Dark Lord! Dumbledore defeated him himself, and that's how he became the greatest wizard."

"They're completely mad, suggesting Grindelwald come to class." Hermione shook her head repeatedly. Harry looked at Lockhart and silently remarked, He'd still be better than having him teach us.

Hermione suddenly fell silent.

In any case, the new professor was settled just like that, and soon the day of the Quidditch match arrived.

This was Harry's first Quidditch match, and everyone was nervous.

As they prepared to enter, Harry held the Nimbus 2000 Professor McGonagall had given him. Wood stood beside him, looking even more nervous than Harry. Behind them, Fred, carrying a bat specifically for dealing with Bludgers, had a slightly twisted expression that made anyone who saw it want to tell him to please use his face properly.

God gave them handsome faces but forgot to give them instruction manuals.

The spectator stands were lively.

Ron had discovered that the phone could record video, so he turned it on, ready to record the match. Another reason was that the group had said Harry would win this match, so he intended to capture the moment Gryffindor won.

Then take it to Slytherin and play it on repeat every day (strike that part out).

Wood was giving the final pep talk:

"Don't worry! I've thoroughly figured out the other side's weaknesses! As long as we stick to our training, we won't be afraid of whatever dirty tricks they pull!"

Angelina couldn't wait to charge out.

The Slytherin supporters in the stands were cheering loudly too.

Neither team had even come out yet, but the two sides' supporters were already on the verge of fighting in the stands.

Draco had naturally seen the group say that Harry would definitely win, but he didn't believe it.

Slytherin would definitely win!

And so, amid the uproar, the Quidditch match began.

Time for some brainless little skits.

Brainless little skit ③

Grindelwald: Today is my first day teaching you. First, I'd like to ask a question. Which of you is Dumbledore's favorite student?

Harry said nothing.

Grindelwald: So you're Dumbledore's favorite student, are you?

Harry: ?? Sir?

Brainless little skit ④

Fan: Hehehe, I Am Wood's Dog-

Fan: My Wood sickness is worse today than ever. Love ❤️ isn't ✋ something to promise lightly. All right, I don't want to say any more. That's right, it was all my coldness that made you feel so very lonely. But a woman's ❤️ doesn't just long for a promise. I'm afraid of being deceived, and I'm afraid of loneliness, but I'm even more afraid that my heart will slowly wither away. Love isn't something to promise lightly. All right, I don't want to say any more. As long as I can marry Wood, that's enough.

Wood himself: ...