The Old Man Made Me Laugh

"Wu Clan barbarian, what bullshit are you spewing? Who... who said we didn't prepare gifts!"

Unable to bear it any longer, Ci Tie pointed at Ju Mang and cursed out loud.

His temper was already explosive by nature, and after being berated for so long, he simply couldn't hold back anymore!

Though he truly hadn't prepared a gift, they were all figures of renown—everyone had some stock on hand.

Ju Mang picked his nose. "If you prepared one, then bring it out! If you don't, how am I supposed to know you really did?"

Ci Tie aimed his Wolf-Tooth Mace at Ju Mang, refusing to back down. "If I do take it out, what then?"

Ju Mang put on an air of utter indifference. "Take it out and that's that—what's it to me? It's not for me anyway!"

Ru Shou fanned the flames from the side. "Exactly, exactly! What else do you want? For you to call me 'Dad'? Don't get your hopes up so high you blow snot bubbles."

Ci Tie listened, grinding his teeth in fury.

Sure, I look like an ox, but do you all think I'm that dumb?

Me—give a gift and become your son? Am I crazy, sick, or suffering from mad cow disease?

Seeing Ci Tie at a disadvantage, Nine Infants, another Demon God, couldn't stand by.

He spoke in a sinister, unhurried tone. "Daoist Fu Xi, not that I'm saying—"

"Then don't say it!"

Nine Infants had barely gotten half a sentence out before Liu Mang cut him off.

Liu Mang had heard this kind of drivel plenty in his past life.

Any time someone started like that, they were never up to any good.

"Not that I'm meddling" meant they were about to spout nonsense;

"Let me be fair" meant they were ready to take sides;

"Not to mention" meant they'd say everything they shouldn't!

The best way to deal with such people was to shut them up before they even began.

Liu Mang's words caught Nine Infants off guard. He clearly hadn't expected such an opening—normally, wouldn't people wait for him to continue?

Why wasn't he playing by the rules?

With nine faces, Nine Infants wasn't about to give up over one remark from Liu Mang.

He feigned regret, letting out a long sigh filled with pity. "Ah, what a shame. Daoist Nu Wa's taste really isn't up to par."

As he spoke, Nine Infants looked up at Liu Mang, his eyes full of contempt, as if gazing at a pile of dung. "Not just anyone is fit to take in an adopted son."

Hearing Nine Infants, the other Demon Gods' eyes lit up.

Gui Che, who also had nine heads, spoke first. "Demon God Nine Infants speaks sense. Otherwise, some shameless scoundrel sneaking into our Demon Race would only tarnish our reputation."

Shang Yang paused in toying with his Green Jade Hairpin, nodding as he said, "That's right. If Daoist Nu Wa wants an adopted son, I think His Majesty's ten Princes are the best candidates!"

Always concerned for the Demon Race, he naturally understood the impact of Nu Wa's enlightenment on them and hoped the race would unite tightly.

If Nu Wa took Di Jun's son as her adopted son, no one would think of splitting the Demon Race anymore.

The more Shang Yang thought about it, the more it seemed like a perfect solution. He looked at Fu Xi with hopeful eyes.

"I implore Daoist Fu Xi to speak with Daoist Nu Wa about this!"

"I think Daoist Nu Wa should resolve this matter before considering enlightenment, lest our Demon Race—"

The Demon Gods discussed back and forth, never mentioning Liu Mang by name, yet every word revolved around him.

It was plainly pointing at the monk while cursing the bald head.

Liu Mang nearly laughed in anger. I don't go looking for trouble, and they think they can push me around? Unbearable!

"Hahaha, do you even hear the crap you're spewing? It's like an old lady crawling into bed—you've got me cracking up!"

Di Jiang saw Liu Mang speak and his eyes lit up, adopting a posture of eager learning.

"Here it comes! Here it comes! He's opening his mouth! This is the move!"

"I can't see how he lands it—I only know he stands in the sunlight, on the moral high ground!"

Liu Mang pointed at Nine Infants. "You say my mother has no taste? Does that mean you think her path to enlightenment is wrong too?"

"Who do you think you are? A sage is none of your business to discuss! Hanging a gourd in the house—you really think you're the big shot?"

Liu Mang finished, ignoring Nine Infants entirely, and turned to Gui Che. "You mean to say my mother, about to become a righteous sage, needs to consult you before taking an adopted son? Needs your approval?"

"I—"

"I what? I think you're farting through your belly button—how do you even make that sound? Huh?"

Before Gui Che could answer, Liu Mang looked at Ying Zhao, who had spoken last. "As for you, you're so obvious about not wanting my mother to achieve enlightenment. Do you think she can't do it? Or have you already prepared to sabotage her when she does?"

With several heavy accusations laid down, Nine Infants, Gui Che, and the others were left speechless.

Fu Xi immediately unfolded his Bagua Diagram, staring warily at Ying Zhao. "Ying Zhao, you'd better explain yourself clearly, or don't blame me for ignoring our kinship and making you two bleed on the spot."

Faced with Fu Xi's interrogation, Ying Zhao nearly burst into tears. He had just arrived and only spoken one sentence—where would he have any preparations?

But Fu Xi's attitude clearly showed disbelief!

"I'm sorry, I was wrong! I fully support Daoist Nu Wa adopting Liu Mang as her adopted son. This is my gift."

After Ying Zhao finished speaking, to demonstrate his sincerity, he even offered a Spiritual Material he had treasured for a thousand years to Fu Xi.

Fu Xi examined it for a long time and found no problem before slowly putting away the Bagua Diagram, but he still watched Ying Zhao warily, as if ready to strike at any moment.

Ying Zhao was so aggrieved he nearly cried. He raised his hand and slapped himself hard across the face, his cheek swelling up, while he muttered, "It's all this damn mouth's fault—why did I have to answer Nine Infants back!"

Others who had been swept by Liu Mang's gaze also began pulling out various Spiritual Treasures, Spiritual Plants, and Spiritual Fruits, terrified that if Liu Mang was displeased, something even more savage might come out of his mouth.

Di Jiang watched the treasures piling up in front of Liu Mang, utterly stunned: "Terrifying! I've learned! I've learned!"

"Big Brother, what are you mumbling about?" Hou Tu, standing beside Di Jiang, asked curiously.

"Little sister, I think we absolutely must get on good terms with Liu Mang!" Di Jiang said to Hou Tu solemnly. "Otherwise, the treasures our people have painstakingly gathered might not be enough for him to plunder in one go!"

Hou Tu thought over Di Jiang's words, then considered Liu Mang's behavior, and a look of fear crossed her face as she nodded repeatedly at Di Jiang.

No one among the Demon Race brought up Nu Wa adopting a son anymore. Instead, they lined up one by one to give Liu Mang gifts, even Di Jun and Tai Yi.

Soon it was the last person's turn—Demon God Fei Lian. Fei Lian shuffled awkwardly up to Liu Mang.

"I... I don't have any Spiritual Treasures," Fei Lian said cautiously.

"Spiritual Materials are fine too! I'm not picky~" Liu Mang looked at Fei Lian with a smile.

"I don't have those either!"

"Spiritual Plants are okay~" Liu Mang finished, and Fei Lian shook his head.

"Spiritual Fruits?" Fei Lian shook his head again.

"Then what do you have? Don't tell me you've got a heart full of love for me?"

"Ah? Is that okay?"

"Okay my ass! If you don't have anything, go borrow some!"

"Can I borrow from you? You seem to have plenty!"