Just as countless people were marveling at Yu Xiaogang's wisdom, the God of Games suddenly laughed. It looked like laughter, but in truth, he had run out of moves.
Holy shit! How the fuck does your brain work? If I were the Sea God's simp, I would have chosen to help Shrek long ago. Would I need you to tell me? Are you fucking stupid?!
Yu Xiaogang paused for a moment upon hearing the God of Games' derisive laugh. All he sensed was mockery, and he immediately frowned in displeasure.
"What's so funny? Assist Shrek Academy now and follow my orders. I guarantee you'll get by better in the Divine Realm."
Smack!
Just as Yu Xiaogang finished speaking, an exceptionally crisp slap rang out. In that instant, Gangzi mastered the Regional Blood Escape Technique. Knowing that slap was about to land on his face, he cast it and let his head escape through blood evasion.
Gangzi's body below the head remained standing in place, seemingly unaware that his head had already escaped through blood evasion.
The next instant, everyone saw that the mask on the God of Games' face had somehow turned into a black, furious face. This sudden development stunned everyone, leaving them unable to register what had happened.
Then the God of Games snapped his fingers. The clouds of bloody mist flew back and gathered on Yu Xiaogang's body, forming his head again.
Revived once more, Yu Xiaogang immediately felt stabbing pain throughout his entire head. In agony, he clutched his head with both hands, dropped to his knees, and howled.
"It hurts! Aaaah! Why did you hit me?!"
Yu Xiaogang glared at the God of Games with bloodshot eyes, panting like an ox as he angrily demanded an answer, completely unaware that he had already died once.
Seeing this, Lin Huan grabbed through the air, seized Yu Xiaogang by the collar, and lifted him up. Caught off guard, Yu Xiaogang was hoisted like a chick. Just as he was about to threaten the other party again, he heard the God of Games' grief-stricken, indignant voice.
"So you were the one who taught that scumbag, Sea God Tang San! Since he dared to toy with my feelings, you bear responsibility as his teacher too!"
As the God of Games' words fell, everyone present was shocked. Their brains all froze for an instant. That single sentence contained far too much information.
Yu Xiaogang also felt that his brain could no longer keep up, his expression going blank. What? Hold on?! What did you just say?!
Before Yu Xiaogang could react, the God of Games reached out and slapped him. He used Blood Concealment Escape to flee again, only to be revived once more.
"So you were the bastard who taught Sea God Tang San to marry his own son-in-law! Good! Just wonderful!"
The God of Games looked beside himself with rage, his words gritted out through clenched teeth. That sentence shocked everyone again. Wait! What the hell? Did you just say something absolutely outrageous?
My heavens! Is this still the Douluo language? I know every one of these words, so why... don't I understand them when they're put together?
"Wait! What exactly are you talking about?!"
Yu Xiaogang hurriedly called for a halt. That sentence had instantly overloaded his brain. For a moment, his head felt like a tangled mess as he frantically sorted through those last two statements.
Seeing this, the God of Games raised his head to gaze at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle. His black, angry mask changed into a green mask of longing, and he began recounting his tale.
"Back then, I ascended to the Divine Realm. With my strength and looks, I crushed a host of First-Level Gods, attaining a standing comparable to that of a mighty God King."
"And Sea God Tang San was drawn to my looks, wisdom, and talent as well. Sigh... speaking of it only brings tears..."
The God of Games turned sideways, clasping his hands behind his back, looking like a pitiful person whose heart had been wounded.
Those words made everyone on Douluo Star widen their eyes. What kind of fucking unofficial history is this?! Yu Xiaogang also refuted him with a look of disbelief.
"How is that possible?! My disciple Little San has someone he loves! That Hundred-Thousand-Year Soft Bone Rabbit, Xiao Wu! How could he fall for someone else?!"
Faced with his rebuttal, the green mask of longing on the God of Games' face changed into an orange mask of sneering mockery. He answered as though it were all perfectly true.
"You don't really think San'er likes that rabbit, do you? San'er once told me that he only saw Xiao Wu as a younger sister. The one he truly loved was me."
"H-how could that be...?"
Hearing this answer, Yu Xiaogang felt as though his brain were about to burn out, but the God of Games affirmed it.
"Why would I lie to a bunch of ants like you? Besides... San'er came from Bashu. Isn't that proof enough?!"
The God of Games abruptly threw out his evidence. In that instant, the entire Douluo Continent was shocked. Their Douluo Continent also had a city called Bashu City, and everyone in it was gay.
And ten thousand years ago, that city had been called... Suotuo City!
At that moment, everyone stopped finding it strange. So Sea God Tang San came from Bashu. Never mind, then. Understandable. Reasonable!
One sentence from Lin Huan left Yu Xiaogang speechless. Incidentally, Bu Le seemed to have confessed to Ma Hongjun in the animated series, and his first appearance had also been in Suotuo City. Wasn't that proof enough?
"That scumbag San'er! He promised he would love only me... but! He turned around and fell in love with my son! Huo Yuhao!"
Just then, the God of Games dropped another bombshell. Everyone present was stunned. Wait, what?! What the hell?! What the fuck did you just say?!
Before everyone could finish digesting those words, bomb after bomb blasted them until they could no longer tell north from south. They only felt heaven and earth spinning, their entire beings blown wide open.
"Only then did I understand that Tang San had approached me for Huo Yuhao all along! Hahaha! I finally fell for someone, only for you to make me lose so completely... fuck!"
The God of Games laughed in anguish off to the side, like a loser venting his misery. Everyone who had heard it all felt as though the sky had collapsed. By the time they realized what they were listening to, it was already too late.
"Impossible! My disciple isn't that kind of person!"
Pale-faced, Yu Xiaogang once again refuted the God of Games' account. Seeing this, the other party immediately produced a picture. In it, Sea God Tang San had pinned Huo Yuhao, who looked like a delicate little wife, against a wall in a corner.
In that instant, everyone was thrown into disarray, feeling that their eyes were beyond saving, while the God of Games explained their relationship.
"After Huo Yuhao ascended to the Divine Realm, he felt a mother's tenderness from me, so he acknowledged me as his mother."
"And Huo Yuhao's wife is Tang Wutong, making him Tang San's son-in-law. In truth, Tang Wutong descending to the lower realm and getting together with Huo Yuhao back then was a setup arranged by Tang San."
"Tang Wutong's looks are seventy percent like Tang San's. He had his daughter, who resembled him so closely, become Huo Yuhao's white moonlight, then separated the two.
Finally, Tang San would appear when Huo Yuhao had lost his beloved and hit rock bottom. With that face that looked seventy percent like Tang Wutong's, he could make Huo Yuhao fall for him in an instant. This also explains why Tang San schemed to keep his daughter away from Huo Yuhao.
And! Tang San even put a chastity lock on his own daughter, precisely to stop her from touching Huo Yuhao. He wanted him all to himself!"
The God of Games threw out an enormous amount of information. At that moment, everyone felt as though their brains had been assaulted by a strong alkali, as though something very, very filthy had entered their heads.
Especially that picture the God of Games displayed in the sky, showing Tang San pinning Huo Yuhao against a wall like a delicate little wife-it simply left them awestruck!
In the Sea God Pavilion, everyone's eyes were wide open. Even Mu En's usually narrowed eyes instantly widened, as though he had seen a ghost.
At the Spirit Pagoda, Qiangu Dongfeng and Leng Yaozhu also stared at the content above in shock, both looking as though their entire worldviews had been shattered.
In the Federation, Deputy Speaker Divine Brush Douluo Yu Guanzhi and Ferocious Wolf Douluo Dong Zi'an nearly had their jaws hit the floor.
What?! Your circle is seriously messy...
At the War God Temple, Chen Xinjie and Guan Yue were also dumbfounded. Holy shit! If you're going to give me information about the Divine Realm, tell me something good! What the hell is this?!
Over at Spirit Hall, Qian Daoliu and Bibi Dong were deeply shaken as well, while Qian Renxue looked thoughtful.
No wonder... Back then, she had shown Tang San her true appearance, yet he had displayed no other expression whatsoever. When other men saw her, their eyes held nothing but amazement, while Tang San's expression had remained unchanged.
If that's the case, it makes sense. Yes, perfectly reasonable! I, Qian Renxue, believe it under my real name!
In Mingdu, within the Hongchen Family, a six-year-old girl with white hair and blue eyes immediately covered her eyes in agony and screamed.
"Aaaah! My eyes! What are you showing me?!"
Beside her, a white-haired boy with one blue eye and one green eye stared jealously at Tang San pinning Huo Yuhao against the wall. Damn you, old scoundrel Tang San! Let go of my Yuhao!
In the Holy Spirit Cult, the Underworld Emperor, Ghost Emperor, Dark Blood Demon, Ye Xishui, Long Xiaoyao, Na Nali, Leng Yulai, Zhongli Wu, and Feng Ling exchanged looks. Na Nali could not help remarking:
"This is fucking unbelievable! The Divine Realm is even more twisted than I imagined... don't tell me we'll turn into that sort of freak the moment we become gods too..."
The Evil Soul Masters felt that the Divine Realm seemed even more sinister than they were. Compared with those people, their bunch of Evil Soul Masters seemed more like normal people.
At the Tang Sect, Amorous Douluo Zang Xin's eyes immediately lit up as he watched the content above. So that's it! So that's how it is! No wonder! No wonder I fell in love with my beloved, Ruthless Douluo Cao Dezhi!
So all of this was the legacy of our ancestors! I! Amorous Douluo Zang Xin, have perfectly inherited the legacy of the Tang Sect's founding patriarch, Thousand Hands Douluo Tang San!
No wonder I became the Tang Sect's deputy hall master. There were traces to follow all along! It was all destined!
Falling in love with Ruthless Douluo was destined. Joining a sect founded by an ancestor with the same tastes as me and becoming its deputy hall master was destined too! Do you believe in fate?
There was always a parallel universe like this!
At that moment, Amorous Douluo understood. He knew that his love was no sin. Ancestor Tang San, thank you so much for letting me understand the greatness of love. We all love and respect you!
In the end, Zang Xin finally decided to stop hiding his feelings. Once Dezhi returned, he would thoroughly Cao Dezhi.
Question: Between Amorous Douluo Zang Xin and Ruthless Douluo Cao Dezhi, who was the top?
Answer: Zang Xin Cao Dezhi.
Explanation: "Cao" and "fuck" were homophones in Chinese, making it impossible to suppress a laugh!
On the Soul Beasts' side, Di Tian, Xiong Jun, Myriad Demon King, Bi Ji, and the others all fell silent. Di Tian wordlessly covered the Three-Eyed Golden Lion's eyes, then cursed.
"Humanity should just hurry up and die!"
Above the grand cosmic arena, although the God of Games had only spoken four or five sentences, the information they conveyed was enormous.
At that moment, the Douluo Realm, Dou Ling Realm, Star Luo Realm, Martial Soul Realm, Joy Realm, Soul Beast Realm, and Abyss Plane were all subjected to a full minute of silence crowd control by the God of Games.
This move by the God of Games was simply too ruthless. It had directly condemned Tang San and Huo Yuhao beyond redemption.
Of course, someone might ask at this point: Streamer, streamer, what about your own reputation?
Good question. The God of Games' reputation was ruined-what did that have to do with him, Lin Huan? The highest realm of enjoying a spectacle was enjoying one at your own expense.
If you could not even accept being the joke yourself, what business did you have being a god of amusement? Right?
Other people's drama? I'll eat it up! My own drama? I'll eat that too! The Divine Realm's drama? I'll eat that too! Na'er's ice cream? I'll eat that too! Xu Xiaoyan's ice cream? I'll eat that too! I'll eat, eat, eat, eat! Shovel it into my mouth!
The God of Games looked at the dumbstruck Yu Xiaogang before him and tossed him down, his eyes filled with disdain as he said:
"You're the one who corrupted San'er and made me the losing dog! Falling in love with your own cousin was one thing, but you even fucking taught San'er to fall for his own son-in-law?! You deserve to die!"
As he spoke, the God of Games snapped his fingers. Numerous ten-year Wind Baboons appeared and lunged at Yu Xiaogang with howls, tearing frantically into his body.
For a time, screams rang out without end. Yu Xiaogang begged for mercy in terror:
"I didn't! I never taught my disciple any of that!"
"You still dare make excuses! Insolent Gangzi, I see you already have a way to court death!"
The mask on the God of Games' face changed into a blood-red, furious bull's head, its eyes bloodshot and its breath panting like an ox. At that moment, Yu Xiaogang actually saw a trace of his disciple Tang San in the God of Games' mask. Was this the legendary resemblance between husbands?
But as a Wind Baboon sank its teeth into his vital region, another scream rang out.
"No! My manhood! Get away! Hurry up and get away!"
Yu Xiaogang desperately kicked at the Wind Baboons biting him. Sure enough, the baboon family supported no idlers. Last time, one had nearly solo-killed the God of Emotion, and now they were about to solo-kill the Sea God's teacher.
The God of Games watched coldly, without the slightest intention of stopping. To stay alive, Yu Xiaogang worked his brain for all he was worth and finally came out with a line.
"If I die! Little San will be heartbroken!"
As that cry rang out, everyone fell silent again. What?! Holy shit! There's a second stage!
The God of Games widened his eyes, staring at Yu Xiaogang in horror. What?! There's something fishy going on between you master and disciple too?! His curious hunger for gossip immediately blazed up, and he pressed him at once.
"Heartbroken? San'er would be heartbroken?"
He snapped his fingers, freezing the Wind Baboons in place. Rescued, Yu Xiaogang was already on the verge of fainting from pain, but hurriedly nodded in response.
"That's right! Little San loves and respects me most! He's my favorite prized disciple!"
"Favorite..."
Hearing that word, the God of Games sucked in a breath of cold air. Holy shit! Master-disciple play! To think Little Scumbag got up to such wild things in private.
At the same time, everyone in the Douluo Plane and the Abyss Plane heard that sentence too. Their eyes widened, their faces filled with disbelief.
What?! What exactly were they listening to?! Was this still the Douluo language? The father-in-law/son-in-law play was one thing, but now there was even a second stage! Master-disciple play had arrived!
Lin Huan: There was always a parallel universe like this.