Martial Uncle, Watch Your "Head"

"Martial uncle, when are we going to get there?" Lin Yu asked, bored, as he sat on the shoulders of a group of walking corpses.

"You ungrateful little brat, stop rushing me. Can't you see how tired I am?" Four Eyes was drenched in sweat as he hopped along at the head of the walking corpses, leading them forward.

"Oh. Keep it up, martial uncle. I'm going to sleep a little longer." Lin Yu curled his lip, yawned, and lay down across the corpses' shoulders.

He had to admit, Four Eyes' modifications had made the arrangement quite comfortable.

Actually, Lin Yu really wanted to complain about Four Eyes' bizarre method of driving corpses.

Everyone else rang a bell while the jiangshi hopped, but Four Eyes had to hop along in front and lead them himself.

"Xiao Yu, if you ask me, you might as well go over there and become their live-in son-in-law. From what I saw, Ren Tingting was beautiful and graceful. She dressed a little too fashionably, but even I could tell she was a good girl."

Maybe it was too boring out in the wilderness, and Four Eyes finally had someone to keep him company, so he wanted to find something to talk about.

"Martial uncle, listen to yourself. Does that sound like something a person would say? How old am I, and how old is Sister Tingting?"

"There must be at least ten years between us. How could it be as simple as you make it sound?"

With his hands pillowing his head, Lin Yu gazed at the azure sky and argued back.

"As the saying goes, marry a woman three years older and you'll embrace a gold brick. Older women know how to take care of people," Four Eyes said with a mischievous grin.

"Go on, martial uncle, keep persuading me. If I agree, watch out or my master will beat you up." Lin Yu didn't want to continue the subject.

Older women did know how to take care of people, but Lin Yu had no desire at all to go over there and become someone's child husband.

Besides, Ren Fa had never brought it up. It was all just his martial uncle running his mouth.

Four Eyes was also afraid he might actually persuade Lin Yu, so he dropped the subject.

Besides, he didn't think he could talk Lin Yu into it that way.

The more time he spent with Lin Yu, the more he felt that the child's temperament was exceptional. Whenever they talked, he subconsciously treated Lin Yu like an adult.

As for why Lin Yu was accompanying Four Eyes, that came down to Ren Fa.

Ever since Uncle Nine had refused Ren Fa's attempt to establish family ties that day, Ren Fa had visited the mortuary practically every day.

Each time, he brought all sorts of tasty treats, fun things, and novel items.

He figured that if Uncle Nine, the elder, wouldn't agree, he could win over the younger one first. Wouldn't that get him halfway there?

Sometimes he brought Ren Tingting along too, hoping that something would spark between the two of them.

The whole affair worried Uncle Nine so much that he packed Lin Yu off with Four Eyes overnight and had Four Eyes take him away until the storm blew over.

After all, he really couldn't withstand it. At one point, Ren Fa even played his trump card and threw money at him.

He said that as long as Uncle Nine agreed, he would pay ten thousand silver dollars as a gift for addressing him as family.

Wen Cai and Qiu Sheng turned red-eyed and strained their necks with envy when they heard that.

They could hardly wait to rush forward and take Lin Yu's place. Especially after Uncle Nine refused, the words might as well have been written on their faces: I can do it too! Pick me!

Unfortunately, Ren Fa didn't even look at the two of them. He merely glanced at their hints before continuing to discuss the matter with Uncle Nine.

"Master, actually, I can do it too. Why don't you talk to Master Ren? He wouldn't even have to pay the gift."

Wen Cai, who had held it in for an entire day, spoke hesitantly in a low voice after Ren Fa left.

Uncle Nine looked Wen Cai over when he heard that. Wen Cai gazed at him expectantly, thinking Uncle Nine might agree.

Uncle Nine looked at the blue sky outside, which was beginning to darken, and sighed. "Wen Cai..."

"You can still go back and get some sleep while you have the chance."

"Huh?" Wen Cai looked completely baffled. Hadn't they been talking about Ren Fa? Why was Uncle Nine telling him to sleep?

Qiu Sheng caught on quickly. Suppressing a laugh, he came over and patted Wen Cai on the shoulder.

"Master means you should stop daydreaming."

Wen Cai: ...

Night fell, and strands of moonlight shone through the gaps between the trees onto the earth.

Two neat, straight rows of "people" hopped forward in unison, their hands resting on the shoulders of those in front.

"Yawn... Martial uncle, I'm so bored. Have you ever run into anything bad while driving corpses?"

Sitting on the walking corpses' shoulders, Lin Yu yawned in boredom.

"Who would dare let anything strange happen wherever I went? My presence scared them all into hiding far away long ago." Four Eyes boasted about how impressive he was.

"Just watch. Your martial uncle will show you that there's fun to be had in driving corpses too." Four Eyes spotted a row of stones ahead and wanted to play around.

"I hop, I hop, hop, hop, we keep on hopping~, we hop with our legs apart, we hop forward..."

Sitting on the corpses' shoulders, Lin Yu was jostled so much he could barely stay seated. He stared speechlessly at his martial uncle, who was having a grand time up ahead.

"Whoa~!" Four Eyes suddenly slipped on a stone and fell backward, taking the walking corpses with him.

Seeing trouble coming, Lin Yu quickly braced both hands against the corpses beneath him, pushed off, and landed safely on the ground with a backflip.

"S-sorry about that." Four Eyes scrambled up awkwardly.

"Pfft, hahaha~! Martial uncle, was that fun?" Lin Yu couldn't resist laughing at him.

"Hey, you little brat, you're still laughing? You didn't even come help your martial uncle up. I'm getting old, and my legs aren't as nimble as they used to be."

Four Eyes made a show of patting his back, looking exhausted.

Staring at Four Eyes, who looked to be only in his thirties, Lin Yu had black lines all over his face as he went over to help him stand the walking corpses back up.

"Hehe." Four Eyes shamelessly chuckled twice.

"Come on, let's get moving." He then took his place at the front and continued leading the way.

"Whoa, buddy, you're a corpse. How can you still get tired?" Lin Yu sprang up onto the walking corpses' shoulders and suddenly noticed that the last corpse had already slumped over the one in front of him from exhaustion.

Seeing that he was about to fall behind, Lin Yu gave him a hand. He pressed his index finger to the walking corpse's forehead and transferred a little spiritual power into him.

In an instant, the walking corpse stood ramrod straight, as if he'd been injected with chicken blood.

"Careful, martial uncle, there's a tree blocking the road ahead. Why don't we go around?" Lin Yu saw a large tree trunk ahead. They probably couldn't hop over it.

Four Eyes took a look, then began twisting his waist from side to side and forward and back, warming up.

"Martial uncle, why don't we go around after all?" Lin Yu kindly offered his suggestion.

He already knew what was going to happen next, so to keep his martial uncle from getting hurt, Lin Yu made the suggestion.

"Today I'll show you whether your martial uncle's gotten old. Watch closely!"

Four Eyes spoke after finishing his warm-up. Having embarrassed himself just now, he was determined to show off in front of his martial nephew this time, no matter what.

Four Eyes lifted his chin, gently swayed the soul-guiding lantern in his hand, and slowly leaned backward.

The walking corpses behind him followed his movements, especially the last one, whose form was the most perfect.

"Hey, what do you think? Your martial uncle's impressive, right?"

Leading a pair of walking corpses, Four Eyes bent backward and slowly hopped beneath the tree blocking the road.

"Mm-hmm. Martial uncle, I suggest you look ahead." Lin Yu nodded in agreement. He admired anyone who could send his little brother up to crash into something without changing expression.

"Ahead? What's ahead?" Four Eyes said nonchalantly. He still thought Lin Yu was watching him with eyes full of admiration and was enjoying the moment.

"Ow~! Hiss~! It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!"

Four Eyes was just about to look up, but it was too late.

"You little brat, why didn't you make it clear there was a tree stump ahead? Oh, my mother, that hurts like hell!" Four Eyes clutched his crotch and glared at Lin Yu.