Am I Fighting Joy Boy?

Chapter 1: Am I Fighting Joy Boy?

[Chapter 1 is character setup; speedrunners can skip straight to Chapter 2.]

Lu Ye could pretty much confirm that he was already dead.

When an M67 fragmentation grenade went off right against the body, even Homelander would cry for help.

He still remembered the final curtain call:

Lu Ye's fragments were scattered everywhere, and Lu Ye paste covered several walls...

Calling an ambulance definitely wouldn't make it in time, and the veteran coroner would have to praise it as "masterful technique" if he managed to piece him together.

After all, Lu Ye was not the only one who gloriously dissolved in the explosion.

There was also Lu Ye's cheap elder brother Green Biao, four Siamese who were in the flour business...

And a stunning sister-in-law with long legs and a slender waist, who was impossibly sultry!

Well, with seven people mashed together like ham paste, didn't it clearly feel like the other five were totally redundant?

After who knows how long, Lu Ye's consciousness woke up once more.

Thin ghostly Qi lingered before his eyes, and his ears were filled with shrill shrieks and Kikoku.

"Is this the Underworld?"

Lu Ye raised his hand in a daze.

Shackles were fastened around his wrists, and the iron chains clanked as they collided.

All the scars from the explosion had completely vanished, and his skin had a cold cyan-gray hue, looking lifeless.

"I really didn't want to become a ghost!"

Lu Ye made a bitter face, thrusting his fingers into the yellow hair on top of his head and scratching wildly.

Everyone in the pugilistic world worshipped Guan Yu.

Who didn't know that besides being loyal, Lord Guan was also famously petty?

Lü Meng crossed the river in white, and even after Lord Guan became a god, he came back to personally kill him.

Now look at Lu Ye, a two-faced turncoat who hid his tail for years and sent his good big brother off with a final grenade.

Did he also have some of that Jiangdong old friend's flair?

Danger!!!

Could changing religions now get him a commuted sentence?

Jesus, save me!!!

While Lu Ye was fighting a battle between heaven and earth right there, a clear cough suddenly sounded in his ear.

"This yellow-haired fellow opposite... konichiwa desu ka?"

Lu Ye started violently and looked up in horror.

The ghostly Qi before his eyes suddenly dissipated by more than half, allowing him to clearly see that this was a gloomy and terrifying grand hall.

And the one who had just spoken was sitting upright behind the official desk, with a glossy, oily coat of fur...

Hmm???

A golden Nezumi!

Did we Jiangdong rats finally get our own exclusive King of Hell?

Lu Ye was stunned for two seconds before answering loudly:

"Reporting to the leader!

I am Chinese, and I can speak Japanese!

The yellow hair is dyed, it's all for the sake of my profession!"

The golden Nezumi propped up its chin and squinted as it sized up the person before it:

The signature yellow hair of a bad boy, and a ferocious appearance that was one hundred percent immune to school bullying.

His muscle lines were sharp and defined, and an XL-sized tank top was stubbornly stretched into a tight fit.

A coiling dragon over the shoulder looked vivid and lifelike, stepping on the triceps, crossing the trapezius muscle, and roaring ferociously across the pectoralis major.

Standing right there, he was enough for the Legal System Channel to shoot two episodes.

"Your name is Lu Ye?"

"My name is Lu Ye!"

The golden Nezumi pondered for two seconds: "But the Lu Ye in my file, he should be a police officer?"

Thump!

Lu Ye slammed his heels together and snapped a police salute with an excessively high elevation angle to the Rat King of Hell.

"That's right, leader! I'm a cop!"

Cop your head!

The golden mouse rolled its eyes.

A big gray wolf trying to pass himself off as a sheepdog? Take a look at yourself-do you have the genes for it?

Smack!

The golden mouse slammed the gavel and put on a stern little face, pretending to be fierce:

"Stop grinning! Lying to the Underworld makes your crime even worse!"

"Boss, I'm telling the truth."

Lu Ye gave an awkward smile and shrank his neck:

"My name is Lu Ye, top lieutenant under Brother Biao in G City.

My underlings call me Sixth Master, and my big brother and sister-in-law call me Liuzi.

My real identity is a cop. The police station calls me an undercover agent, but in our underworld...

We call it being a professional double-crosser!"

"Well, I hope you're still so stubborn when you're in the boiling oil."

The golden mouse glanced at him and opened a glowing dossier:

"The dossier says Lu Ye excelled at police academy and graduated top of his class.

Listen here, young man. Take a look in the mirror. Forget excelling-do you even have a middle school diploma?"

Lu Ye had been hit where it hurt. His face instantly filled with grievance as he gave a practiced, bitter explanation:

"Boss, looking fierce and being smart aren't mutually exclusive.

I really did attend police academy, though I was expelled in less than two months..."

The golden mouse's eyes lit up. "Being expelled doesn't count as graduating!"

Lu Ye gave a dry laugh, not understanding why the mouse King of Hell was so fixated on his police credentials.

Were civil servants really so impressive? Could they even pull strings in the Underworld?

"I was expelled for fighting with gangsters.

They were bullying the neighbors, so I stepped in and broke more than a dozen of the other side's ribs.

The principal said I'd seriously violated the rules.

But, boss, aren't cops supposed to take down thugs?

Clearly, there was something wrong with the school rules, right?"

At this, Lu Ye paused:

"Luckily, I met Old Huang. He said I had good grades and a strong sense of justice, and secretly got me police credentials.

I went to police academy to become a cop, and I had police credentials, so that should count as graduating, right?

It's embarrassing to say, but in eighteen years as a cop, I only got one assignment:

Join Brother Biao's gang as an undercover agent and gather intelligence for the police station."

The glowing dossier of merit confirmed that Lu Ye was telling the truth.

The golden mouse's disappointment was plain to see. He thought for a moment but still wasn't ready to give up:

"But this Lu Ye had been on the job for two months and raided gambling dens and brothels on three streets...

You were undercover with the gangsters. You couldn't have smashed up your own turf, could you?"

Lu Ye let out a soft breath, a look of reminiscence crossing his face:

"Back then, Brother Biao's gang was tiny. Our territory was only two streets.

There were over a hundred thousand gangsters in G City, and even with our hostesses, we had fewer than a hundred people.

I was a newbie, too. What kind of intelligence could a 49 gather? The northwest wind?"

As he spoke, Lu Ye raised a fist the size of a sandbag:

"Luckily, I could really fight!

I took two knives and went to claim territory. If I saw a tattoo, I slashed; if I saw a cop, I ran.

My blades got completely nicked!

I sent every thug from the three streets next door back to the countryside to grow watermelons.

In two months, I swore brotherhood to Guan Yu and became a Double-flower Red Pole!

Gather intelligence? The wind just blew straight into my ears!"

The golden mouse sprang to his feet and pointed at the dossier of merit in disbelief:

"Then what about the dark knight who fights crime and ruthlessly beats the evil villains who skirt the law? That couldn't have been you, could it?

Hey, don't tell me you were a gangster by day and Batman by night!"

"Boss, movies are all lies. Only a weirdo would wear a tight-fitting suit in the middle of the night.

"We bad guys go out during the day to do business, and besides... we wear Armani!"

Lu Ye's lips curled into a sly smile, and his hand unconsciously moved to his chest.

Only then did he realize that he hadn't brought his bespoke suit with him. All he had now was a little undershirt, with the character for "death" written across the chest.

"Cops need evidence to make a case. Gangsters only need a name.

Can't get them into a cell? Then can't get them into the ER either?

It's even easier to send them to the sea to grow coral!"

The golden Nezumi twitched at the corner of his mouth. "So the case file's claims about maintaining public order and sharply reducing violent clashes..."

Lu Ye spread his hands.

"I don't know if it's the same thing, but we swept away all the gangs that didn't play by the rules. We're all on the same side now, so naturally there are no clashes."

The golden Nezumi gritted his teeth. "And the flour has nearly vanished from your district..."

Lu Ye grinned wickedly.

"I told my big brother that junkies have no brains, and when they go crazy, they'll even chop up their own mothers.

Big Brother told me to stay far away from it, or he wouldn't be able to rest easy.

I said it was fine, because I'm a martial artist with willpower!

He said I couldn't even pass my sister-in-law's test, so it was hard to believe I had any willpower. Then he turned around and reported every flour dealer."

The golden Nezumi rubbed his forehead helplessly, then resignedly looked toward the end of the case file.

"So you were also the one who blew up Green Biao and the four Siamese drug dealers in the final gunfight?"

At that, Lu Ye's smile abruptly froze, and his gaze dimmed.

"G City was handed back, and Brother Biao was afraid of being punished. He wanted to go with the foreigners to the Sunset Empire.

Before leaving, he let the Siamese in to sell flour, planning to make a quick buck.

I told Old Huang to go arrest them. The Siamese threw him off a rooftop.

Boom! His head exploded right in front of me!

I was completely stunned!

As an undercover agent, you have to play both sides. Other people can't tell if you're cop or crook, and you can't tell yourself either.

Old Huang said I had a sense of justice, but my methods were too crooked. If I didn't rein myself in, I'd never come to a good end.

Of course I understood. I'd sent construction materials to the Dragon King plenty of times over the years.

With Old Huang around, he could still keep me on the right track.

But now he was dead, and I didn't even know how to go back...

I'd made enough money, too, so I planned to quit after this was over.

I found a way to leak the latest deal to the police station.

When we got there, I discovered the Siamese had more firepower than the Flying Tigers.

A .38 revolver against submachine guns?

Boss, the last people who thought wearing uniforms made them invulnerable were the Boxers in 1900!

The cops could go in, but good people shouldn't have to die...

I was fine with dying. I'm a bad guy, after all."

The golden Nezumi didn't know what to make of Lu Ye's grief.

After all, judging by his face, this guy's catchphrases should have been "Rob the royal tribute and bed the queen" and "Pay me enough, and I'll wreck anyone."

"My condolences..."

"No need! I died way more miserably than the old geezer."

Lu Ye rubbed the crook of his elbow against his reddened eyes.

"Boss, how are they going to judge a turncoat like me? Guan Yu won't get involved, will he?

I had no loyalty when I blew up my big brother, but making me take three cuts and six holes with the Green Dragon Crescent Blade is just inhuman."

The golden Nezumi put away the case file and gave a light cough.

"Don't worry. Loyalty and righteousness don't carry the same weight."

So Guan Yu wasn't blaming me after all?

Maybe being a god for so long had made him more broad-minded?

Lu Ye was rather surprised, and immediately offered a flattering remark.

"No wonder you became King of Hell. That's a truly profound insight!"

"Well, this treasure just heard it from the old master."

The golden Nezumi rubbed his cheeks, grudgingly accepting that the hardened thug in front of him really was Lu Ye.

He floated out from behind the desk to Lu Ye and held out a little paw.

"Here, let's get properly introduced.

My name is Jinbao. I'm an Underworld intern, responsible for improving our clients' travel experience.

And you... you're my important assignment for getting a permanent position!"

Jinbao was about the size of a cat. Standing on the ground, he probably wouldn't even reach Lu Ye's knee.

Lu Ye timidly shook the paw and gave an awkward laugh. "So, boss, are you going to arrange for me to be reincarnated directly?"

Jinbao shook his head.

"The Underworld isn't only responsible for reincarnation. It also rewards merit, punishes crimes, and enforces justice.

Besides the Eighteen Levels of Hell that you know about, the Underworld keeps up with the times and draws on works of fiction from the living world to create the Myriad Worlds.

Every departed soul gets sent to a different world to settle the karmic debts of this life."

Lu Ye raised an eyebrow. "Transmigration?"

Jinbao gave a slight nod. "A promised land for the kindhearted, a place of exile for the wicked. Merit is the only ticket that determines your destination."

"So I'm going to..." Lu Ye ventured.

Jinbao thumped his chest.

"Well, your merits are complete, so you can choose any world you like. This treasure will accompany you the whole way and ensure you have a good trip.

Of course, I recommend the Pokémon world. The world is very friendly. Even the major villains from Team Rocket are practically model citizens compared to villains in other worlds."

"Th-then I'll go with that."

Lu Ye relaxed. "This life's been a bit tiring. In the next one, I'll stay away from fighting and killing and just take a vacation."

Lu Ye had only heard of Pokémon. It seemed to be a monster game that had only recently come out.

It was aimed at kids, so it sounded perfect for taking it easy.

Lu Ye followed Jinbao out of the Hall of Yama.

The corridors outside the hall were lined with oil cauldrons. Crispy, deep-fried white bones screamed in agony.

"These people have bad karma. They have to be fried for three years before they can go to the place of exile, but things will only be worse over there."

Jinbao lowered his voice. "There are only ten Yama kings in the entire Underworld, but in the entertainment industry, live Yama kings are as common as carp crossing a river!"

Lu Ye nodded silently, deeply agreeing.

They walked down the corridor and came to a room marked "Teleportation Room."

The room was bare, with only an old-fashioned computer, yellowed with age, inside.

Jinbao floated over the keyboard and carefully typed in a string of World Coordinates.

Authentication successful!

A Pokémon image appeared on the screen.

Jinbao turned around excitedly. "Little Lu Ye, do you have any requirements for your identity after transmigrating?"

"Rich and healthy?"

Lu Ye rubbed his chin, thought it over, then added seriously, "Make sure I'm strong! I hate having to reason with people."

"Understood. Leave it to me!"

Jinbao confidently made an OK sign with his paw, then turned back to fill out a densely packed list of options.

"Rich, huh... Heh heh... Just max out the birth background, right? Top-tier nobility!"

Lu Ye made a cross over his chest. "May there be no Huang Chao in the other world."

"For the body, I'll just use Ash's template. The Pallet Town superman who wrestles legendary Pokémon!"

Lu Ye asked doubtfully, "Won't I look like the original character?"

Jinbao gave a soft snort and said with great experience, "Can't we just max out the looks? Oh, and should I make you look rugged too?"

Lu Ye said seriously, "Rugged, but not illiterate."

"Got it!"

Two hours later.

Jinbao frowned and fiddled with the mouse.

"I don't see a health option. And what the heck is a rival? Should I put Jessie and James?"

"Can't you skip it?" Lu Ye asked.

Jinbao muttered, "Nope. Apparently, rival is a required field."

Lu Ye offered a serious suggestion. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away. If you put down 'doctor' as your rival, wouldn't that mean you're healthy?"

"Wow! Little Lu Ye, you're a genius!"

Jinbao's eyes lit up. "Then I'll put Nurse Joy down as your rival!"

Jinbao entered Joy, and a long list of options immediately popped up below.

"Why are there so many?"

"Well, because Joy is part of a family of nurses."

Lu Ye shrugged. "Just pick one. As a Double-flower Red Pole, I can beat the crap out of any Joy."

"Then it's decided-you're the one, Joy Boy!"

The teleport button turned green, and Jinbao pressed it solemnly.

Whoosh!

A beam of white light shot out, and the two of them vanished into it in an instant.

Bzz-bzzzz-

Static rolled across the screen as unburnt ashes fluttered down from the roof.

In the silence, the World Coordinates flickered rapidly on their own, like a slot machine whose lever had been pulled, dazzling the eye.

After quite a while, the World Coordinates finally settled firmly into place.

Crack!

Time to reveal the result!

The Pokémon image melted away like spring snow, replaced by a terrifying skull, black as an abyss...

World Malice Index: 98%!

The Land of Exile-

Pirate King!