Donquixote Longinus

In the white, castle-style delivery room, candles covered the walls, illuminating the interior as brightly as day.

On the bed, a woman with long, pale golden hair looked somewhat haggard. Her back rested against a feather pillow as she gazed tenderly at her newborn child.

The baby neither cried nor fussed as a nurse held him in her arms and carefully wiped away the amniotic fluid.

A pair of restless little blue eyes peered out from the crook of the nurse's neck, darting around as if no one else were there.

"Is this the Pokémon world?"

Lu Ye asked in automatically encrypted baby talk, babbling away.

"This treasure thinks... hmm, that should be right."

Jinbao floated beside Lu Ye like a ghost visible only to him, his voice noticeably lacking confidence.

"Then who are these blondies with rice cakes on their heads? Are they dressed up as rhinoceros beetles?"

Lu Ye pointed at the old blond man with a handlebar mustache beside the bed, along with two little blondies who were shorter than the bed.

The three had hair that rose high before curving slightly forward at the very top, making them look remarkably like close relatives of the rhinoceros beetle-

A certain kind of dung-rolling scarab.

"They should be your family. As for rhinoceros beetles... maybe your family worships them as a totem."

Jinbao chuckled foolishly and patted his chest as if expecting praise. "See, don't you like blondies? This treasure picked your hair color especially for you."

Hearing that, Lu Ye looked warily at the two little blondies.

The smaller one looked a little dopey. He was blowing a snot bubble and leaning against the edge of the bed, half asleep with a finger in his mouth.

The older one wore brown-tinted sunglasses and looked thoroughly displeased, his lips curled in a pout. He held a thick iron chain in one hand.

"So these two little blondies..."

Lu Ye trailed off, already having a bad feeling about this.

"They're your brothers!

"Don't you like sisters-in-law? I arranged two brothers for you, so you'll have two sisters-in-law in the future."

Jinbao practically wanted to give himself a huge thumbs-up for being so thoughtful.

Lu Ye rolled his eyes. "Well, aren't you considerate..."

Yeah, right!

As for brothers connected to him by nothing but blood, without burning yellow paper and beheading a chicken before Guan Yu, Lu Ye could only beg to decline.

Besides...

Sexual preferences really are like underwear!

It's embarrassing when someone sees yours, and even if someone else wears the same kind, it can't possibly smell the same!

What the hell does a big rat know about having a thing for sisters-in-law? Who the fuck asked you to play pimp?

Beside his ear, the nurse praised him with a smile. "The young master is very healthy. He'll surely grow up to be a remarkable man."

Lu Ye was turned around, and his field of view suddenly opened up.

Directly in front of him were five nurses in white micro-miniskirts, tiny spaghetti-strap tops, and over-the-knee leopard-print stockings.

The nurses each had their assigned tasks and worked efficiently, carefully examining the woman on the bed and Lu Ye.

Lu Ye sucked in a breath. "Wh... which one of you is Joy Boy? Attacking my weak point the first time we meet."

The five nurses were all fair-skinned, pretty young women with slender, graspable waists and bountiful curves. All the scraps of fabric they wore combined wouldn't have made a single complete sleeve.

The last time he saw nurses dressed like this, he remembered, they were called princesses.

"If I were already eighteen, she'd have me throwing away my helmet and armor in defeat...

"But I'm just a milk-drinking little baby. A gilded blank round is useless against a baby."

Lu Ye put on a brave front.

Jinbao scratched his cheek. "Well, the Nurse Joy I remember... should have been the pure and sweet type."

That's right. We nobles are like this, always able to turn any subject into hentai.

Now you know why you have to pay for VIP, right?

Lu Ye yawned and said indifferently, "Speaking of which, isn't Pokémon a world of monsters? Where are the monsters?"

"Th... that should be some kind of regional form of Machamp, right?"

Jinbao pointed beside the little blondie in sunglasses.

A burly "Machamp" lay prostrate on the ground, an iron chain fastened around his neck and the other end held in the little blondie's hand.

The "Machamp" had a fierce, ugly face, hair that stood up like spikes, and knotted arm muscles, but his legs were as thin as hemp stalks.

"So ugly!"

Lu Ye curled his lips in disgust.

"Rather than take a guy like that traveling, I'd rather stay in the castle and fall for Nurse Joy's beauty trap."

"Well, maybe your family doesn't like Pokémon. I'll ask the local world's will about the situation first."

Jinbao pulled a huge phone from behind his waist, two inches longer than he was tall, and made a call.

"Hello, this is Jinbao, trainee commissioner.

"May I ask where I'm located right now... Mary Geoise? That sounds a little familiar.

"Oh, right, can you arrange a local identity for me?

"Don't worry, I won't affect the balance. I'm a professional commissioner who's completed his training!

"Akainu or Kizaru?

"Hmm... are they starter Pokémon?

"They aren't? Then no!

"Dragon?

"The Dragon-type Elite Four's nickname is Dodo! Not even a dog would use Dragon types.

"Roger?

"Is this guy a champion trainer?

"Look, comrade, please don't brush me off with just any Tom, Dick, or Harry. I studied up very seriously!

"How about this? I'll name one-Arceus!

"I'll be the client's starter Pokémon!

"Wait, who are you calling sick?

"Hello! Hello? Hello..."

Jinbao shouted at the phone screen.

The person on the other end clearly couldn't hear him anymore. A busy signal sounded from the receiver.

Lu Ye paid him no mind, wriggling closer against the warm, soft cushion behind him.

Starting out as a top-tier noble was a flying dragon in his face. Why bother doing anything?

Some champion title? It held no appeal at all.

Punish evildoers and take down Team Rocket?

Come on, how bad could spacefaring science geeks be?

Besides, Sixth Master was here on vacation, not to clock in for work.

The nurses finished their examination, and the perfectly content Lu Ye was forcibly ejected from the cabin.

"Saint Homing, all of the young master's readings are normal."

Without asking Lu Ye what he wanted, the nurse handed him straight over to the old blond man with the handlebar mustache.

"Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo~"

The old blond man held Lu Ye high, letting out a strange, grating laugh.

"Longinus, that's what you'll be called from now on, my adorable little Longinus!"

With that, the old blond man puckered his lips and leaned in to kiss Lu Ye's face.

A chill of disgust ran through Lu Ye. He tensed his waist and abdomen and raised a foot to press against the old blond man's face.

People with no sense of boundaries are really annoying!

"Yah yah yah!"

Lu Ye rattled off a string of curses in baby talk.

On the bed, the woman covered her mouth and chuckled. "Our Longinus is very shy."

"What's there to be shy about with your father?"

The old blond man placed Lu Ye in the woman's arms and smiled foolishly with his hands behind his back.

The woman smelled of daisies, a particularly reassuring scent, and she looked at Lu Ye with a smile in her eyes.

"Our Longinus is just little right now. Once he's had some time to get used to you, he'll cling to you and never leave your side."

Encouraged, the old blond man came over again with a grin and teased Lu Ye with his finger.

Damn it, are you ever going to stop?!

Lu Ye frowned and raised a hand to hit him.

Several times in a row, the old blond man pulled his hand back out of the way.

Lu Ye grew furious, the old blond man never tired of it, and the woman watched silently with a smile.

Suddenly, the old blond man slipped his hands under Lu Ye's arms and scooped him out of the woman's embrace again.

"How come I haven't heard this child cry? I remember Doffy and Rosy cried so loudly when they were born."

Cry, my ass!

Lu Ye clenched his little fists. Right now, all he wanted was to give the man two solid punches.

When has a Double-flower Red Pole ever suffered such humiliation? Do babies have no human rights or what?

The old blond man held Lu Ye above the heads of the two little blondies.

"Doffy! Rosy! Look, this is your little brother Longinus. You must get along with him from now on."

Doffy, the little blondie in sunglasses, looked up and met Lu Ye's eyes. After a moment, he curled his lips. "He's so ugly!"

The old blond man tilted his head back and let out a strange wheezing laugh.

Ugly? Who doesn't come out of the womb all wrinkled?

Lu Ye clenched his little fists even tighter.

If I could lift a sword, I'd definitely show you what it means for the strong to reign supreme!

At that thought, Lu Ye relaxed his lower body. A warm stream arced through the air like a rainbow and sprayed Doffy in the face.

"Ah!!! Th... that bastard! How dare he! I'll kill him!"

Doffy let out a piercing shriek, veins bulging at his temples as he stood on "Machamp" and swung his fists wildly.

"Doffy! Brothers must be considerate and loving toward one another!"

The old blond man held Lu Ye high with one hand and pressed the other against Doffy's dripping forehead, causing all of Doffy's wild punches to miss.

Lu Ye saw the scenery in front of him change rapidly. One moment it was the floor, and the next it was the ceiling, like he was on a roller coaster.

The muzzle between his legs swung out of control, dousing the half-asleep Rosy's head.

"Huh? Who splashed me with hot water?"

Rosy sucked his finger, looking utterly bewildered.

Your Sixth Master, of course!

Having sprayed both little blondies with one piss, Lu Ye giggled with satisfaction.

On the bed, the woman watched her husband and children, her eyes full of smiles.

"Aila, take Doffy and Rosy to rest. They've stayed by my side all night. Thank you for your effort, you two."

A muscular maid with twin tails walked in and curtsied gracefully, then carried the indignant Doffy and the clueless Rosy out in her arms.

"I hate Longinus, I hate him so much! Don't let me see him again!"

Doffy's hysterical howls could still be heard from far away.

"You really are naughty."

The old blond man sighed and pinched Lu Ye's little cheek.

Lu Ye raised his head proudly, like a victorious rooster.

Drops of water still clung to his little cock below, glistening in the candlelight...

Wait, hold on!

Old man! Which fucking hand did you use to pinch my face?!

Pah, now I'm fucking dirty too!

Lu Ye frantically swatted at the old blond man, trying to get away from his filthy hand while rubbing his face hard against the man's chest.

The woman smiled. "All right, stop teasing him. Let Longinus go with the butler and rest too."

"Sullivan!"

The old blond man called for the family's nursery butler.

While Lu Ye was thrashing around, the old blond man stole a kiss on his little cheek, sucking his chubby baby flesh into his big, hairy mouth.

Lu Ye's whole body went stiff. He felt even dirtier.

"Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo~"

The old blond man was thoroughly satisfied. "This child is so adorable!"

A young butler in a black tailcoat hurried over.

The old blond man cleared his throat. "Sullivan, the family nursery hall has been prepared, hasn't it?"

The butler immediately bowed and answered, "Please rest assured, Saint Homing. It was ready long ago. I will be responsible for caring for Saint Longinus from here on."

The old blond man patted the butler on the shoulder. "You took care of Doffy and Rosy, and now I'm sorry to trouble you with Longinus too."

Flattered, the butler accepted Lu Ye, who was wailing at the top of his lungs.

After everyone else had left, the woman chuckled. "You didn't lose your composure like this when Doffy and Rosy were born."

The old blond man clasped his hands behind his back, his eyes shining.

"This child is different from all of us.

"He can grow up in an ordinary life and see the real world, just like any ordinary child.

"We are only guests of the earth, but Longinus... he will belong to the earth!"

"Have the elders agreed already?"

"Almost... Liana, will you come with me?"

The woman bit her lip, then shook her head gently after a moment:

"Homing, I can't understand you either, but a family should stay together, after all. I'll stand behind you."

Old Huang grasped her hand and held it to his lips, saying affectionately:

"Liana, our family will find true happiness on the earth!"