That "Oh No!" Feeling Is Inescapable

Which mattered more, the village or his comrades? The question weighed on Kakashi's heart like a boulder, keeping him awake at night.

Deep inside him, two opposing selves seemed to exist, arguing incessantly every day and leaving the already quiet Kakashi even lonelier and more miserable.

Then one day, he discovered to his horror that he actually resented his own father!

Yes, he hated Hatake Sakumo! He hated his father for saving those two ungrateful people! He hated his father for abandoning the mission the village had assigned him! He hated his father for making him suffer so much!

Kakashi could never face what was in his heart. He began to run away-from his father, from reality, and from his own feelings...

For the past few days, he had shut himself in his room as soon as he got home from school. He wouldn't speak even when Hatake Sakumo knocked, and Sakumo seemed to understand something, because he never disturbed Kakashi again after that.

The relationship between father and son had dropped to freezing point.

Then today, the comrade Sakumo had saved recovered from his injuries and left the hospital. He came over to invite Hatake Sakumo to eat at a barbecue restaurant, and Kakashi went along. He had thought the man was there to thank Sakumo for saving his life, but outside the restaurant, all he heard was slander.

Even... even the villagers Sakumo had saved who knew how many times began to curse him, their words growing more and more vicious.

It left Kakashi utterly disheartened.

Then that idiot Obito and a cute little boy walked up to the man, and Kakashi heard the boy say, "In this boring ninja world, people who break the rules are called trash, but those who don't cherish their comrades are worse than trash!"

Kakashi felt as if he had been struck by lightning. His eyes widened in shock!

A beam of light broke through the clouds from the sky. Koki's words were like that beam, dispelling the gloom that had long hung over his heart.

He could no longer hold himself back. He was eager to rush forward and ask the boy his name.

But Sakumo said there was no need to go in, and Kakashi turned away in disappointment.

However, to his surprise, the boy chased after them.

Seeing the boy panting for breath, Kakashi couldn't bear it and wanted to help him up, but his hands felt stiff and wouldn't move.

He wanted to smile and ask the boy's name, but the words that came out were as cold as ever. Kakashi cursed himself inwardly.

He watched the boy give his father a sweet smile and say those words, and he could no longer contain his emotions.

"I, I'm Kakashi Hatake. Please, please take care of me from now on." Kakashi did his best to squeeze out a smile beneath his mask, but he couldn't hide the tremor in his voice or the blush on his cheeks, unseen beneath his mask.

Koki noticed none of this and enthusiastically held out his hand. "Hello, Kakashi-senpai. I've heard so much about you. Please take good care of me from now on!"

Every Konoha ninja knew of Kakashi's reputation as a genius. He had even set the record for graduating from the Ninja Academy in the shortest time, a record no one had matched to this day.

The two shook hands tightly, and Kakashi didn't let go for a long time.

Huh? Hatake Sakumo looked at his son in surprise, then at Koki, who was smiling without a care in the world. Finally, his gaze fell on their tightly clasped hands, and he nodded knowingly.

He really is a lovable child!

"You can let go now, Kakashi-senpai!" Koki's smile had turned stiff, and he pulled his hand free with some effort.

Kakashi's really strong!

"Oh." Kakashi seemed to wake from a dream and hurriedly released Koki's hand.

Time to get down to business!

"Uncle Sakumo, you see, not everyone misunderstands you. At least Obito, Shisui, Kakashi, and I all think you did the right thing!" Koki chose his words carefully.

He could even be said to have been a little cautious, afraid of hurting Hatake Sakumo's fragile heart again.

Although he couldn't be sure exactly which day Hatake Sakumo had killed himself, Koki deduced from the villagers' gossip and the dark circles under his eyes that it would probably happen soon.

Shouldn't I hurry up and give Sakumo some psychological counseling?

"Thank you." A faint smile rested on Hatake Sakumo's lips, as if speaking of the peace and composure in his heart.

He doesn't look like he's going to kill himself in despair. Or has the gossip not spread yet? Or is he putting on a brave face? Koki looked at the calm Sakumo before him, feeling somewhat baffled.

But he still steeled himself and went on. After all, even if it weren't for the mission, he couldn't just stand by and watch such an outstanding ninja fall.

"Uncle Sakumo, no matter whether you've made mistakes in your life, or committed wrongs that are hard to accept, as long as you keep going, life will surely present new opportunities. That time may be incredibly difficult and agonizing, and it may even fill you with despair, but once you make it through those years, a window of hope will open in your life again. So please cherish your life and don't give up so readily."

After a pause, Koki continued, "Otherwise, once you get down there, you'll definitely regret it and won't find true release. People only kill themselves when they've lost all hope. If someone dies with such desperate thoughts, do you think they'll go happily to the Pure Land? That's impossible. They'll regret it after death, and they definitely won't go anywhere good."

"So no matter how unbearable your current predicament is, as long as you stay alive, there's still hope. Besides, wouldn't leaving like that hurt the people who love you and delight your enemies? How can you not think of the people you hold dear?"

Although Koki hadn't said it outright, Kakashi was clever enough to realize that he was talking about Hatake Sakumo!

Could it be...? Kakashi stared at his father in shock. He had been so focused on his own pain that he hadn't noticed all the torment his father was enduring. Not only did he have to bear the villagers' abuse and his comrades' lack of understanding, but even his own son...

What kind of pressure has he been under all this time? What if... what if Hatake Sakumo really is thinking of taking his own life, just like Koki said? Kakashi didn't dare think any further!

At the thought, Kakashi lowered his head slightly, guilt welling up inside him. He no longer had the courage to look at Hatake Sakumo's face.

Koki lowered his head too. He had made himself sad with his own words. In the past, he had looked down from on high and considered Sakumo too psychologically fragile. But ever since that conversation at the barbecue restaurant, ever since seeing Sakumo alive before him, he had finally been able to put himself in the man's shoes and understand his situation.

If you haven't suffered as others have, don't tell them to be kind! At that moment, Koki understood the meaning of those words deeply.

Koki was lost in thought when darkness suddenly fell before his eyes. Then his face was pressed against a warm chest.

Hatake Sakumo had bent down. His figure looked even more imposing in the lamplight, and he wrapped one arm around Kakashi and the other around Koki.

Koki listened to Hatake Sakumo's heartbeat echoing in the quiet air.

Suddenly, he felt drops of water fall onto his neck.

One drop, two drops, three drops, more and more.

Is it raining? No, those seemed to be Sakumo's tears.

Koki closed his eyes.