Purple Cloud Palace was a world of its own.
It looked to be only a thousand zhang across, but it contained endless space within. Chaos Airflow poured down from the void like a waterfall hanging from the heavens, and every inch of space brimmed with the pressure of the Great Dao—enough to leave a Grand Luo Golden Immortal gasping for air.
At the very front of the hall, an ancient-looking platform floated in midair. That was where the Dao Ancestor preached.
Beneath it lay just six cushions, wreathed in purple mist.
These were the coveted seats of sainthood, the fast track to immortality.
At that moment, the most intense and brutal game of musical chairs in the entire Primordial World was underway.
The Three Pure Ones were, after all, Pangu Orthodox Lineage, and with the Mysterious Yellow Pagoda protecting them, there was little doubt they would claim the first three spots.
Laozi's spirit wandered in the void, oblivious to everything around him.
Primordial Heavenly Lord sat upright, looking entirely convinced the spot belonged to him.
Sovereign of Heaven was seated too, but kept one hand on his sword hilt, wary of those around him.
With her elder brother Fuxi taking several attacks for her, Nuwa had managed to seize the fourth spot, drenched in sweat. She was panting hard, her chest rising and falling.
As for the fifth spot...
Hong Yun, that old softie, had somehow gotten lucky. With his reckless, heedless foolishness, he'd plopped right down on it. Now he was grinning like an idiot, completely unaware that he was sitting on a powder keg.
Only one spot remained.
A freezing black wind skimmed just above the ground.
Kunpeng was badly wounded, but at this life-or-death moment, he still burst into astonishing speed. His withered, eagle-claw-like hand had already reached the edge of the cushion.
He was just about to claim it.
Just then, Taiyuan arrived around the middle of the hall with Jieyin and Zhunti.
Looking at the only remaining spot still even remotely up for grabs, Jieyin's already doleful face instantly crumpled like a dried-up orange peel. His instinct to "complain of poverty," born deep in his soul, was awakening.
His junior brother Zhunti reacted even faster.
His eyes darted around, and the emotion he'd been building toward for ages instantly came to the fore. His eyes reddened, and his voice turned choked and quivery.
His lips parted. The legendary line that had shocked the Primordial World for countless epochs—"Elder Brother, life in the Western Lands is so hard for us"—was about to tumble out.
Then he'd throw himself to his knees and slam into the pillar nearby.
With that crying and carrying on, Hong Yun would surely give up his seat, and Kunpeng would surely be forced out.
It was fate—and the signature trick of the Two Sages of the West: the shamelessness technique.
Just as Zhunti's knees were about to bend and the first hint of a sob rose in his throat—
"Swallow it!"
A cool voice, edged with distaste, exploded directly in their minds.
Taiyuan moved fast. He grabbed Zhunti by the back of the collar and lifted him up like a little chick, then shot a warning glance at Jieyin, who was ready to join in the sob story.
"E-Elder Brother?"
Zhunti was so stunned that he swallowed his tears, nearly choking himself. His face turned bright red.
"Do you really think that cushion is fit for sitting?"
Taiyuan spoke to them directly, his tone full of disdain. "It's hard as a rock, for one thing. And sitting on it is like signing away your freedom. You'd be stuck doing a million epochs of unpaid labor for Hongjun, without so much as health insurance."
"Who do you think we are?"
"We're the only three scholars in the Western Lands! We may be 'poor' right now, but we still have our dignity! We're not sitting on some hard bench full of schemes and stinking of money!"
"Not only are we not sitting on it, we're staying far away, so none of that bad luck rubs off on us."
Jieyin and Zhunti didn't really understand what "health insurance" or "unpaid labor" meant, but Elder Brother's claim that the cushions were "full of schemes" had certainly spooked them.
After all, Taiyuan's unfathomable abilities on the way here had already won them over.
"Then... where should we sit?" Jieyin asked, looking around in confusion. Apart from the six cushions, the hall was empty—not even a brick in sight.
Were they supposed to stand through the sermon? That would be so embarrassing.
Taiyuan smiled mysteriously and didn't answer. Instead, he led the two of them straight past the crowded assembly and all the way to the back of the hall.
It was a dead corner, the spot everyone disliked most because it was farthest from the Dao Ancestor and hard to hear from.
But that also meant there was plenty of space, and no one to bother them.
"This will do."
Taiyuan nodded in satisfaction, then swept his wide sleeve.
Whoosh—
Treasure light streamed in every direction, and auspicious radiance filled the air.
The dim corner was instantly illuminated.
Three extravagantly designed recliners, crafted entirely from Chaos Primordial Stone and inlaid with countless tiny star-gems, appeared out of thin air.
[Chaos Spirit Jade Carefree Chair]
The chairs didn't just look incredibly luxurious. They also radiated a rhythm of the Great Dao that made anyone who glanced at them want to lie down and never get up.
And that wasn't all.
As if performing a magic trick, Taiyuan produced an Innate Wutong Wood Tea Table and placed it between the three chairs.
Then he laid out a set of top-grade tea utensils for cultivating the Dao.
He poured steaming spirit spring water into the pot, and several leaves shimmering with the light of the laws unfurled in the water.
In an instant, a tea fragrance far richer and more mysterious than the one from their earlier picnic swept through the entire hall of Purple Cloud Palace.
Its fragrance even outshone the Daoist aura emanating from the purple cushions.
"Come on, second and third brother. Sit."
Taiyuan stretched out on the middle Carefree Chair.
His whole body sank into the soft backrest. The Chaos Spirit Jade molded itself to the curve of his back and released a gentle warmth. It felt so good that Taiyuan couldn't help letting out a contented sigh.
He crossed one leg over the other and picked up a cup of tea, lightly blowing across the surface.
"This... this..."
Jieyin and Zhunti stared, dumbfounded.
They looked at the six cramped, uncomfortable bundles of dry grass up front, then at the luxurious recliners before them, fit for an emperor.
Even a fool knew which to choose!
Without another word, the two of them stretched out on either side of Taiyuan.
"Ohhh, that's the life..." Zhunti sighed, almost moaning, as his whole body went limp. "Elder Brother was right. Whoever wants that busted cushion can have it. This is so much better!"
The sight—
It dealt a crushing psychological blow to the powerful figures still fighting over the cushions up front, their faces red with exertion.
Especially the Three Pure Ones, who had just settled into their seats.
They'd thought they'd claimed the best spots and had been rather pleased with themselves.
But now, they looked back—
The trio from the Western Lands were lounging contentedly in their gleaming recliners, sipping Enlightenment Tea. And the chairs even seemed to rock on their own?
Compared with them, those of them sitting on the floor in the front row looked like penniless refugees who couldn't afford a ticket and had to squat in the aisle.
The three in the back were clearly first-class VIPs.
The cushions beneath them suddenly felt prickly and uncomfortable.
Primordial Heavenly Lord, in particular, cared most about appearances. Seeing Taiyuan's setup and then looking at the "communal sleeping mat" on his side turned his face green.
His whole mindset was collapsing.
Just then—
"Dong—"
A bell tolled, striking straight into their souls.
The air above the platform rippled, and an elder in a gray Daoist robe slowly appeared. His face was ancient and unreadable, not a trace of emotion showing.
Dao Ancestor Hongjun had finally arrived.
Phantoms of the Jade Plate of Creation swirled around him. When his eyes opened and closed, it was as if universes were being born and destroyed. The aura of a Saint, supreme above all, made every powerful figure below—except Taiyuan and his two companions—want to bow down in worship.
Hongjun had planned to follow the script as laid out.
First, he would look down at the crowd fighting desperately over the seats of sainthood and lament that all living beings suffered. Then he would naturally bestow the seats of sainthood, while tossing some compensation to those two weeping fellows from the Western Lands.
It was a perfect script.
But—
As his gaze swept over the hall and finally settled on the corner at the very back—
Hongjun's impassive poker face, unchanged for ten thousand years since he attained the Dao, twitched violently for the first time.
Even his mind, united with the Heavenly Dao, developed a tiny crack.
In that corner—
Three fellows were sprawled in their chairs in an extremely undignified pose known as "Ge You slouching." They held cups of tea and gazed eagerly at him. They weren't looking at a Saint so much as an actor on a stage.
Especially Taiyuan, seated in the middle. When he noticed Hongjun looking his way, he actually smiled and raised his teacup in greeting.
As if to say: Go ahead and preach. Don't mind us. We're just here for the fun.
What the hell was this? A sermon in Purple Cloud Palace!
Not a tea party!
The whole scene had gone completely off the rails!
The heartbreaking drama that was supposed to unfold—Hong Yun giving up his seat, Kunpeng being driven away, and Jieyin and Zhunti wailing about their misfortunes—had lost all its atmosphere because of those three interlopers.
Even if Zhunti wanted to cry now, he couldn't get into the mood while lying in such a soft chair!
Hongjun took a deep breath, forcibly suppressing the urge to throw the three of them out of Purple Cloud Palace.
So be it.
Fate had changed, but the sermon still had to go on.
It was just that, no matter how he tried, the opening words felt awkward on his tongue.
At the same time—
The long-awaited voice finally rang out in Taiyuan's mind.
[Ding! Detected that the host has completely ruined the tragic atmosphere of the "Purple Cloud Palace seat-grabbing" historic scene.] [Successfully transformed the "tragic drama" into a "luxury vacation drama" and caused Dao Ancestor Hongjun's mindset to waver.] [Congratulations, host! You have completed a major plot-point quest!] [Super Reward issued: Chaos Green Lotus Seed x1.]
A seed radiating a hazy green light, its surface wrapped in thirty-six prohibitions of the Great Dao, appeared quietly in Taiyuan's System Space.
Its life force was so concentrated that just looking at it made his soul feel as if it were ascending.
He'd done it!
Taiyuan was overjoyed. The Enlightenment Tea in his hand suddenly didn't taste so good anymore.
With this thing, he'd have more than enough to dig up and replant every last shattered spirit vein in the Western Lands.
Coming to Purple Cloud Palace had been more than worth it!
Before you continue