Jiraiya's Resolve

"...What?"

Kou stared blankly at Jiraiya before him, his mind momentarily shutting down.

It was as if something had jammed his brain. All his thoughts stopped in that instant, leaving only the words "Fifth Hokage" echoing over and over in his mind.

What is this guy... talking about?

He muttered to himself:

"Go back to Konoha? Investigate the truth behind the Uchiha Clan Massacre? Deal with the higher-ups who pushed for the massacre? And... succeed as the Fifth Hokage?!"

Wait, wasn't this Jiraiya talking? How could he be saying things like this? Something felt way off!!

His brows drew tightly together.

That Jiraiya—the Jiraiya who was always carefree, the lecherous old man who had no interest in power or status and would rather travel the world "gathering material" than stay in the village.

A man like that... actually wanted to become Hokage of his own accord?

Had the sun risen in the west?

Kou gazed solemnly at the resolute Jiraiya before him. For the first time, he felt that events had developed in a way he could not understand at all.

He knew Jiraiya, so he was sure that he had meant every word he'd just said.

But the Jiraiya he knew would never have said anything so "radical."

Kou's expression shifted from bewilderment to shock. He looked at Jiraiya as if he were meeting him for the first time—or getting to know anew someone he'd thought he had understood for years.

"I see. So that's how it is..."

Kou's voice was quiet, steady, yet unable to conceal his surprise:

"You've changed..."

Hearing the shock in Kou's voice, Jiraiya gave a bitter smile.

"So many years have passed..."

"If I still hadn't realized my mistakes by now, I'd have to be a complete fool."

He lifted his head and gazed at the mist-veiled sky.

But his eyes seemed to see through the whiteness, looking far into the distance—to the people and events of many years ago.

"My life... has been nothing but failure."

Jiraiya sighed softly and spoke heavily:

"I failed to win the woman I loved most. I failed to stop my friend from defecting. I failed to save my first three students. I failed to save the student I was proudest of, and I failed to..."

His sorrowful gaze settled on Kou's face, and his voice was filled with an irrepressible bitterness.

"I also failed to notice in time the pressure buried in the heart of the junior I trusted most..."

His voice grew fainter and fainter. The face that was usually so bold now held nothing but a profound, inexpressible bitterness.

Jiraiya knew full well that none of the regrets in his life had been unavoidable.

He'd had the chance and the ability to change things. If only he'd done everything he could at the right time, he could have made a difference.

But he had never truly given it his all...

If he'd stayed in the village back then and dealt with his feelings for Tsunade more earnestly,

perhaps Tsunade wouldn't have sunk into unbearable grief over the deaths of her loved ones.

If he'd been in the village back then, perhaps he could have noticed Orochimaru's changes sooner.

If he'd been by his side, perhaps he could have stopped him in time from taking that dark, irreversible path.

The same went for those three children...

Nagato, Yahiko, and Konan—his own naivety and decision to leave them alone had ruined their lives.

He'd known perfectly well that at their age and with their strength, they had no chance of facing the cruel Ninja World.

If he'd brought them to Konoha, or stayed in touch with them after leaving, the tragedy that followed could have been avoided entirely.

The same was true of Kou.

His gaze fell on Kou's face, filled with guilt and compassion.

His self-righteousness and assumptions had led to this bitter outcome.

Jiraiya had realized it when Kou "defected"—no, perhaps even earlier. He had seen what he was really like.

A pathetic idealist who ran from reality and placed his hopes in the future.

He was always searching for the "Child of Prophecy" who could change the world.

He had placed all his hopes, all his expectations, and everything he believed he couldn't accomplish in the hands of someone who had yet to appear.

He told himself that as long as he found the Child of Prophecy, everything would get better.

The wars in the Ninja World would end, people's suffering would disappear, and the sacrifices of those who had died... at least, their deaths would have meaning.

He had never thought that ideal was wrong, and even now he still didn't.

But on the road to pursuing that ideal, he had overlooked far too much.

Both his own life and the lives of those he cherished had been made miserable because he had failed to do things he could have done.

In the past, he would often lament and grieve over this, then use it as motivation to keep searching for the hope of changing the Ninja World.

But at its core, that was nothing more than self-comfort and self-deception.

He knew perfectly well that if he temporarily set aside that ideal and devoted more attention and effort to the people and things around him, he could have changed so many things!

But he hadn't.

He had invested too much effort and placed too much hope in that path. He had lost too much of his life because of it...

He could only force himself to keep going, keep deceiving himself, and blame every misfortune on his own incompetence.

But what happened with Kou had made him recognize his own "arrogance."

He'd had the chance to change everything, but tragedy had come about because of the arrogant assumptions in his heart.

If he'd been more considerate of Kou's feelings back then, instead of trying to plan some "surprise," and had returned in time, then both the Nine-Tails Incident and Kou's defection could have been avoided.

For the past five years, these thoughts had filled his mind every moment.

He could no longer deceive himself. He had to set aside the "ideal" he'd used to comfort himself and numb his heart, and face the bloody reality.

"I won't place all my hopes in a future that may never come."

Jiraiya looked at Kou, his gaze full of pleading and hope:

"Come with me, Kou.

As the Fifth Hokage, I'll start with Konoha and change the things that went wrong.

The future should be built upon the present. The only thing that can change the future... is the present!"

Kou looked at Jiraiya, who was gazing at him with such hope, and remained silent for a long time.

His gaze lingered on Jiraiya's face, on how much more haggard he looked, on his slightly trembling hands.

He had to admit, Jiraiya's words had truly shocked him.

He'd never expected that Jiraiya, who had always seemed so stubborn to him, would set aside the "Child of Prophecy" path he'd followed for most of his life and turn instead to the course of "Practice Saves Village."

He knew Jiraiya, so he understood better than anyone what this decision meant to him.

Looking at Jiraiya's earnest gaze, Kou couldn't help wondering:

Could it... be because of me?

No, impossible. I'm not that influential.

Kou quickly dismissed the thought:

*If I really had that much influence, then what about Obito, Shisui, and Itachi, those three Dung-Digging Boys?

They're each as stubborn and hard-headed as rocks in a cesspit. No matter how much I try to talk sense into them, they won't budge.*

Thinking of those three idiots who had ruined his reputation as an educator, Kou's mouth twitched.

Oh, right. They're Uchiha... That explains it.

But... Jiraiya as the Fifth Hokage, huh?

Kou watched Jiraiya's expectant gaze and murmured with some regret:

If he'd changed sooner, maybe I really would've gone back with him.

But now, it's too late.

His gaze grew distant, a trace of despondency flashing through his dark eyes.

"The Uchiha Clan is already gone. I have no desire to explain who was right or wrong.

Konoha and all that... it is what it is."

He took a deep breath, looked solemnly at Jiraiya, and spoke slowly:

"The fact that you've managed to change—I have to say, I'm surprised, and I'm glad."

His gaze settled on Jiraiya's face, sincere and respectful.

"Rejecting the way you've lived your life until now is no easy thing.

I want to express my respect to you, Jiraiya-sensei."

Hearing that familiar form of address again, Jiraiya's heart jolted. His lips parted, and he was just about to speak—

"However."

Kou's voice sounded again. This time, there was no hesitation or wavering in it, only a cold, unshakable resolve:

"As for returning to Konoha... I refuse."

(Next chapter, the fighting finally begins!!)