Jiraiya's Resolve

"...What?"

Kou stared at Jiraiya in front of him, his expression blank, his mind momentarily crashing.

It felt as if his brain had been jammed by something; all his thoughts stalled at that very moment, leaving only the words "Fifth Hokage" echoing repeatedly in his mind.

This guy... what is he talking about?

He muttered in his heart:

Return to Konoha? Investigate the truth behind the Uchiha massacre? Deal with the high-ranking officials who pushed for the Uchiha's destruction? And... succeed as the Fifth Hokage?!

No way? Is this really something you, Jiraiya, should be saying? Why does this feel so wrong!!

His brows furrowed tightly.

That Jiraiya, that perverted old man who was always acting like a slacker, that wanderer who had zero interest in power or status and would rather travel the world "gathering material" than stay in the village.

Such a person... actually wants to take the initiative to become Hokage?

Has the sun started rising in the west?

Kou looked at the determined face of Jiraiya before him with a heavy gaze, feeling for the first time that the development of events had completely deviated from his understanding.

He knew Jiraiya, so he could be certain that everything he had just said was sincere.

But the Jiraiya he knew would absolutely never say such "radical" things.

Kou's eyes shifted from bewilderment to astonishment. He looked at Jiraiya as if meeting him for the first time, or perhaps as if re-evaluating someone he thought he had known all along.

"Is that so? So that's how it is..."

Kou's voice was very soft, filled with composure, yet carrying an irrepressible shock:

"You... have changed."

Hearing Kou's stunned words, Jiraiya gave a bitter smile:

"So many years have passed..."

"If I still haven't realized my own mistakes by now, then I truly am too foolish."

He raised his head, his eyes gazing toward the mist-shrouded sky.

But his gaze pierced through that white veil, as if seeing into the distant past, seeing those people and those events from many years ago.

"My life... has been nothing but failure."

Jiraiya sighed softly, saying heavily:

"I failed to win the heart of the woman I loved most, failed to stop my close friend's defection, failed to save my first three disciples, failed to save my proudest disciple, and also failed to..."

His sorrowful gaze fell upon Kou's face, his tone filled with an irrepressible bitterness:

"Failed to notice in time the pressure buried deep within the heart of the junior I trusted most..."

His voice grew lower and lower, and on that bold, rugged face, there was now only a deep, unspeakable bitterness.

Jiraiya knew very well that all the regrets in his life mentioned above were not actually dead ends that could not be changed.

He had possessed the opportunity and the ability to change these things; if he had only done his utmost at the right time, he would have had the chance to alter them.

But he had never truly given his all...

If he had stayed in the village back then and handled his relationship with Tsunade more actively and seriously, perhaps Tsunade would not have fallen into such inescapable pain due to the deaths of her loved ones.

If he had been in the village back then, perhaps he could have noticed Orochimaru's changes sooner.

If he had been by his side, perhaps he could have stopped him in time from walking down that dark, point-of-no-return path.

The same went for those three children...

Nagato, Yahiko, and Konan—it was his own naivety and his decision to let go that harmed them.

He had known very well in his heart that, given their age and strength at the time, they were simply not equipped to face this cruel Ninja World.

If he had brought them to Konoha back then, or maintained long-term contact with them after leaving, the subsequent tragedies could have been completely avoided.

The same was true for Kou.

His gaze rested on Kou's face, filled with guilt and heartache.

It was his own self-righteousness and assumptions that had led to the bitter fruit of today.

Jiraiya realized that the moment Kou "defected"—no, perhaps even earlier—he had realized his own true nature.

A pathetic idealist who avoided reality and pinned all his hopes on the future.

He was always searching, searching for that "Child of Prophecy" who could change the world.

He placed all his hopes, all his expectations, and all the things he deemed himself incapable of doing onto that person who had yet to appear.

He told himself that as long as he found the Child of Prophecy, everything would be alright.

The wars of the Ninja World would cease, people's suffering would vanish, and those who had died... at the very least, their sacrifices would have had meaning.

He had never considered this ideal to be wrong, not even now.

It was just that along this path of pursuing his ideal, he had overlooked far too much.

Whether it was his own life or the people he cherished around him, they had all fallen into misfortune because he failed to do what he could have done.

His past self had often lamented and grieved over this, using it as fuel to continue walking down the path of seeking hope for change in the Ninja World.

Yet, in essence, this was nothing more than self-consolation and self-numbing.

He knew clearly in his heart that if he had only set this ideal aside for a moment and devoted more attention and energy to the things around him, many things could have been changed!

But he had not done so.

Because he had invested too much energy and pinned too much hope on this path, and the things he had lost in his life because of it were simply too many...

He could only force himself to keep walking, to keep deceiving himself, and to attribute all misfortune to his own incompetence.

But the incident with Kou made him realize his own "arrogance."

He had once had the chance to change everything, but it was his own arrogant thinking that led to the tragedy.

If he had been more considerate of Kou's feelings back then, instead of thinking about some "surprise," and had returned in time, both the subsequent Nine-Tails Incident and Kou's defection could have been avoided.

For these past five years, such thoughts had filled his mind every single moment.

He could no longer deceive himself; he had to temporarily set aside that "ideal" he used to comfort and numb his heart, and face that bloody reality head-on.

"I will no longer pin all my hopes on that future which may or may not arrive."

Jiraiya looked at Kou, his gaze filled with both pleading and expectation:

"Come with me, Kou.

As the Fifth Hokage, I will start from Konoha and change those things that were wrong.

The future should be based on the present; the only thing that can change the future... is the present!"

Kou looked at Jiraiya, who was watching him with expectant eyes, and remained silent for a long time.

His gaze lingered on Jiraiya's face, observing his noticeably haggard features and his slightly trembling hands.

He had to admit that what Jiraiya said truly shocked him.

He had never expected that Jiraiya, who in his impression was incredibly stubborn, would actually abandon the path of the "Child of Prophecy" he had insisted on for most of his life and turn toward a path of "Practice Saves Village."

He understood Jiraiya, so he knew better than anyone what this decision meant for him.

Looking at Jiraiya's sincere gaze, Kou couldn't help but wonder in his heart:

Could it be... because of me?

No, impossible. How could I have that much influence?

Kou immediately dismissed the thought:

If I really had that much influence, what about those three Dung-Digging Boys, Obito, Shisui, and Itachi?

Each one of them is as stubborn and foul as a rock in a latrine; no matter how I try to persuade them, they won't budge.

Thinking of those three idiots who had ruined his reputation in the field of education, the corners of Kou's mouth twitched slightly:

Oh right, they are Uchiha... never mind then.

But... Jiraiya, the Fifth Hokage, huh.

Kou stared at Jiraiya's hopeful eyes, muttering with a hint of regret in his heart:

If he had changed earlier, perhaps I really might have gone back with him?

But now, it is already too late.

His gaze grew deep, and a trace of dimness flashed through his black eyes:

The Uchiha clan has already been wiped out; I have no heart to explain right from wrong anymore.

As for Konoha, it is what it is.

He took a deep breath, looked at Jiraiya before him with a solemn expression, and spoke slowly:

"To be honest, I am surprised and happy that you were able to make this change."

His gaze fell on Jiraiya's face, filled with both sincerity and respect:

"Denying the way you lived the first half of your life is by no means a simple thing."

"I express my respect to you here, Teacher Jiraiya."

Hearing that familiar address once again, Jiraiya's heart jolted violently. His lips parted slightly, and just as he was about to say something—

"However."

Kou's voice rang out again, but this time, there was no hesitation, no wavering—only a cold, unquestionable resolve:

"Regarding returning to Konoha... I refuse."

(The battle finally begins in the next chapter!!)