Xiao Wu's Complaints

Xiao Wu had a secret, one even Tang San didn't know. She kept a diary.

"Day one: four weirdos fell from the sky." Xiao Wu lay on her bed, chewing on her pen, her feet swinging in the air behind her skirt.

"The ugly one is called Han Li. He looks at everyone like he's keeping a tally. I watched him, and this is what his expression looks like." Xiao Wu drew a simple stick figure in her diary. It had no expression, just two black dots for eyes and a straight line for a mouth.

"Just like that, from beginning to end. But every time someone calls him an ugly freak, the corner of his mouth twitches. Just once, so faintly it's lighter than a mosquito's wingbeat, but I saw it. I seriously suspect he has a little ledger where he writes down everyone who insults him. No, I don't suspect it. I'm sure he does."

Xiao Wu turned the page and continued writing. "The arrogant one is called Xiao Yan. Every day, he says 'Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river' at least three times. Once when he gets up, once before a meal, once before cultivation, once before a fight, and once before bed. Like clockwork. He probably doesn't realize he's become the whole academy's laughingstock.

"Ma Hongjun shouts 'Thirty years west of the river!' every time he sees him now. Xiao Yan turns red in the face and yells, 'It's east of the river, not west!' Then Ma Hongjun says, 'Oh, oh, east of the river, east of the river. Why are you getting so worked up?' And then Xiao Yan really does get worked up. It happens every time. He falls for it every time."

Xiao Wu chewed on her pen and thought for a moment, then started writing again. "The crazy one is called Shi Hao. He gets up at four every morning to punch mountains. Not practice his punches—punch mountains. Literally. I saw him with my own eyes. He stood in front of a mountain and hammered it with one punch after another, shouting 'Arbitrary Eternity!' He kept at it for three days, and the mountain collapsed.

"The villagers came to complain three times. 'Please, get your lunatic to stop punching the mountain! Our ancestral graves are at its foot!' Dean Flender paid them a lot of money, then told Shi Hao, 'Don't punch mountains anymore.' Shi Hao asked, 'Then what should I punch?' Flender said, 'Wooden posts.' Shi Hao said, 'Wooden posts can't take a beating.' Flender said, 'Then punch the air.' Shi Hao said, 'What's the point of punching air?' Flender nearly burst into tears on the spot."

By this point, Xiao Wu couldn't help laughing aloud. "The pretty one is called Wang Lin. He's even better-looking than me, and his skin is even fairer than mine. It's infuriating! He just stands there like a painting, long hair fluttering, white robes whiter than snow. Even when he eats, he's so refined, like he's savoring the finest delicacies under heaven.

"What gives him the right?! I, Xiao Wu, am a beauty too, okay? How did I lose the title of the academy's prettiest girl the moment he showed up? And he's always calling himself 'this Venerable One,' as if he's some big shot. But he really is powerful... That's even more infuriating! Even more infuriating! EVEN MORE INFURIATING!!!"

Xiao Wu drew three heavy underlines beneath the words "even more infuriating," then closed her diary with satisfaction.

The next day at noon, it was lunchtime for the Shrek Seven Devils.

Oscar spoke first. His chopsticks held a sausage, his face glistened with oil, and he looked as excited as if he'd discovered a new continent. "Yesterday, I saw Han Li refining pills in some remote corner of the back hill. He used a little green bottle and dropped one drop of water onto a seed. The seed shot up and grew into a medicinal herb!

"Then he mashed the herb up and rolled it into a pill. I'm telling you, that pill smelled even more nourishing than my sausages. One whiff, and I felt my Soul Power rising!"

Ma Hongjun gnawed on a chicken leg and replied through a mouthful of food, "What good has your sausage done you? After all these years, you're still a Soul Grandmaster."

Oscar pursed his lips. "What would you know? I'm just biding my time before I make a big breakthrough."

Ma Hongjun rolled his eyes. "Biding your time? I'd say you've only been biding it."

Oscar wasn't having that. The two of them started arguing.

Dai Mubai slapped the table, and the argument stopped at once. The whole room fell silent.

Dai Mubai sighed. He felt more and more like an old nanny.

Ning Rongrong kept laughing, the kind of laughter where you covered your mouth.

Ma Hongjun asked what she was laughing about. She told them something that left everyone speechless. "Xiao Yan got into another fight. This morning, on the training grounds, he grabbed a student and insisted that the student listen to him say 'Thirty years east of the river' before they fought.

"At first, the student played along. After hearing it once, he said, 'I've heard it. Can I go now?' Xiao Yan said, 'No, you weren't listening seriously. I'll say it again.' The student turned and ran, and Xiao Yan chased him, shouting, 'Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river—never bully a poor young man!' When he finished, he even asked the student, 'Did you hear me this time?'"

Ma Hongjun laughed so hard he dropped his chicken leg. Oscar laughed so hard his bowl nearly tipped over. Even Dai Mubai couldn't help letting out a laugh.

Ning Rongrong went on to tell them about Zhu Zhuqing. "Shi Hao scared Senior Zhu's cat away today."

Zhu Zhuqing coolly interjected, "That cat isn't mine. It belongs to the academy."

Ning Rongrong waved her hand, still smiling. "Right, right, it belongs to the academy. But that cat's a Ten-Year Soul Beast, and it's very bold. It usually dares to scratch anyone. Today, Shi Hao walked past and glanced at it. Just one glance, and the cat let out a meow, its fur stood on end, and it ran off faster than a rabbit, yowling like it had seen a ghost."

Ma Hongjun was already laughing too hard to breathe. "Seen a ghost? Shi Hao is scarier than a ghost!"

Dai Mubai sighed, his voice carrying a deep weariness. "The most terrifying one is Wang Lin! These days, I'm afraid he'll suddenly appear while I'm walking and say something like, 'Your karma is settled. Today, you shall die.' Do you know what he said when he brushed past me yesterday?"

Everyone shook their heads.

Dai Mubai took a deep breath and spoke in Wang Lin's cold, elegant tone. "There's a blood calamity in your karmic thread." Then he just walked off without even looking back.

Oscar asked nervously, "And then? Did you really suffer a blood calamity?"

Dai Mubai expressionlessly pointed to the cut at the corner of his mouth. "I nicked myself shaving this morning."

A moment of silence passed, then even louder laughter erupted.

Xiao Wu added, "By the way, where's my Third Brother?"

Only then did everyone notice Tang San's seat was empty. Xiao Wu nodded toward the corner of the dining hall.

Tang San sat alone in the corner with his bowl in hand. A piece of green vegetable rested between his chopsticks, untouched, as he stared into space.

His face didn't show much expression, but somehow he looked a little dejected.

Xiao Wu said something that left everyone silent. "Oh, he's in the corner drawing circles and cursing them."

Tang San put down his bowl and walked over to Xiao Wu, who was chatting with Ning Rongrong. As soon as she saw him, she put on a smile.

Tang San's lips moved a few times, as though he wanted to say something but didn't know how to begin.

He looked at Xiao Wu and struggled with it for a long while before finally asking, "Xiao Wu, compared to them, where do I fall short?"

Xiao Wu chewed on her chopsticks, thought for a moment, then counted on her fingers. "Han Li's better at enduring things than you. Someone can call him an ugly freak, and he won't even blink. Could you do that?"

Tang San shook his head.

"Xiao Yan's more determined than you. He can get knocked down eighteen times and still get back up shouting 'Thirty years east of the river.' Could you do that?"

Tang San hesitated, then slowly shook his head.

"Shi Hao's better at fighting than you. Could you throw those Turtle Fists of his?"

Tang San hesitated, but shook his head anyway.

"Wang Lin's better than you at... putting on airs."

Tang San fell silent, because he really didn't know how to put on airs. All he knew how to do was smile.

Tang San asked quietly, "Then what about me?"

Xiao Wu looked at him, her expression complicated.

Should she tell the truth? Say he was gentle? Kind? Good to people? But what did any of those words have to do with being "strong"?

She thought for a long time, then finally came up with something and blurted it out. "You're better at crying than they are."

Tang San opened his mouth but couldn't say a word. He silently lowered his head.

Seeing him hang his head, Xiao Wu's heart suddenly softened.

She reached out and patted Tang San's hair, as if comforting a puppy that had been bullied. "But it's okay, Third Brother. You're the best in my heart!"

Tang San raised his head. His eyes and nose were red, and his lips trembled with emotion. He grabbed Xiao Wu's hand and choked out, "Xiao Wu! Come back to life..."

Xiao Wu's slap paused in midair for an instant, then she clamped a hand over Tang San's mouth. The movement was crisp and practiced, clearly already ingrained in her muscle memory.

"If you say the word 'resurrection' again, I'll really go and die."

Xiao Wu's voice wasn't loud, but she was deadly serious. Tang San blinked and didn't dare say another word.

That night, in the four-person dormitory.

Xiao Yan sat against the wall with one leg crossed over the other, looking carefree, but his tone carried a complicated emotion. "Did you hear? The academy held a poll for the least popular person. The four of us took all the top four spots."

Shi Hao sat bolt upright on his bed, eyes shining. His voice rose several notches. "Who's first?"

Xiao Yan glanced at him. "You."

Shi Hao's expression shifted from anticipation to shock, then from shock to anger. He punched the bed, and its frame creaked under the strain. "Why?! I should be the most popular! I fight people every day, and afterward I even smile at them. I'm so friendly!"

Han Li kept his eyes closed, his voice indifferent. "Because you're crazy."

Wang Lin kept his eyes closed too, his voice even more indifferent than Han Li's. "Because you're stupid."

Shi Hao glared at them, his eyes practically spitting fire. "Say that again!"

Han Li and Wang Lin both fell silent, without even lifting their eyelids.

Xiao Yan sighed and twisted the knife. "Tang San came in fifth. Everyone thinks he's annoying, but not a bad person."

The four of them fell silent at once. After a long while, Xiao Yan spoke, his tone carrying a complicated feeling that was hard to put into words. "Even the floor tiles came in fifth. Just how much do people hate us..."

This time, no one disagreed.

For once, all four of them sighed in unison.