Xiao Wu's Complaint

Xiao Wu has a secret, a secret not even Tang San knows: she keeps a diary.

"Day one, four weirdos descended from the sky." Xiao Wu lay on her bed, chewing on her pen, her feet kicking back and forth behind her skirt.

"The ugly one is called Han Li. He looks at everyone like he's keeping a ledger. I've observed him; the way he looks at people is like this." Xiao Wu drew a stick figure in her diary—expressionless, two black dots for eyes, and a straight line for a mouth.

"Just like that, never changing from start to finish. But every time someone calls him an ugly freak, the corner of his mouth twitches. Just a tiny bit, lighter than a mosquito's wing, but I saw it. I strongly suspect he has a ledger where he records everyone who insults him. Not suspect—I'm certain. He definitely has one."

Xiao Wu flipped the page and continued writing, "The wild one is called Xiao Yan. He says 'Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river' at least three times a day. Once when he wakes up, once before eating, once before training, once before a fight, and once before bed. Rain or shine, he never misses it. He probably doesn't even realize he's become the laughingstock of the entire academy."

"Ma Hongjun calls out 'Thirty years west of the river' the moment he sees him, and Xiao Yan will turn red in the face and roar, 'It's east of the river, not west!' Then Ma Hongjun says, 'Oh, oh, oh, east of the river, east of the river, why are you so worked up?' And then Xiao Yan actually gets worked up. It happens every time, and he falls for it every time."

Xiao Wu chewed on her pen, thought for a moment, and started writing again, "The crazy one is called Shi Hao. He wakes up at four every morning to beat the mountain. Not boxing, but beating the mountain—literally. I saw it with my own eyes. He stood before a mountain and smashed it with his fists, shouting Arbitrary Eternity. After three days of smashing, the mountain collapsed."

"The villagers came to complain three times, begging us to stop that lunatic from hitting the mountain because their ancestral graves were at the foot of it. Dean Flender paid a lot of money in damages and told Shi Hao, 'Don't hit the mountain anymore.' Shi Hao asked, 'Then what should I hit?' Flender said, 'Hit a wooden post.' Shi Hao said, 'Wooden posts aren't durable enough.' Flender said, 'Then hit the air.' Shi Hao said, 'What's the point of hitting the air?' Flender almost cried on the spot."

Xiao Wu couldn't help but laugh out loud as she wrote this, "The 'motherly' one is called Wang Lin. He's better looking than me, and his skin is fairer than mine. It drives me crazy! He just stands there like a painting, long hair flowing, white robes as pure as snow. Even when he eats, he's as elegant as if he's tasting the finest delicacy in the world."

"How is that fair?! I, Xiao Wu, am a beauty too, you know? How did the academy's number one beauty disappear the moment he arrived? And he always refers to himself as 'This Seat,' acting like he's so impressive. But he really is impressive... It's even more infuriating! More infuriating! More infuriating!!!"

Xiao Wu drew three heavy underlines beneath the words "more infuriating" before closing her diary with satisfaction.

The next day at noon, it was lunchtime for the Shrek Seven Devils.

Oscar was the first to speak. He held a sausage with his chopsticks, his face greasy, his expression as excited as if he'd discovered a new continent: "I saw Han Li refining pills yesterday in that remote corner behind the mountain. He used a little green bottle to drip a single drop of water onto a seed, and that seed sprouted into an herb in seconds!"

"Then he mashed the herb up and rolled it into a pill. The fragrance of that pill—I'm telling you, it's more nourishing than my sausages. Just one whiff and I felt my soul power rising!"

Ma Hongjun chewed on a chicken leg and mumbled, "What do your sausages nourish? You've been a Soul Grand Master for years."

Oscar curled his lip: "What do you know? That's called accumulating strength for a sudden breakthrough."

Ma Hongjun rolled his eyes: "Accumulating strength? Looks to me like you're just accumulating fat."

Oscar wouldn't have it, and the two started bickering.

Dai Mubai slammed his hand on the table, and the noise vanished instantly. The whole room went quiet.

Dai Mubai sighed; he felt like he was becoming more of a nanny every day.

Ning Rongrong was laughing, the kind of laughter where she covered her mouth.

When Ma Hongjun asked what she was laughing at, she shared something that left everyone speechless: "Xiao Yan got into a fight again. This morning, at the training grounds, he grabbed a student and insisted they listen to him finish shouting 'Thirty years east of the river' before they could fight."

"The student played along at first, listened once, and asked, 'I've heard it, can I go now?' Xiao Yan said, 'No, you weren't listening carefully, I'll shout it again.' The student turned and ran, and Xiao Yan chased after him, shouting, 'Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river, don't bully the young because they are poor!' After he finished, he even asked the guy if he'd heard it this time."

Ma Hongjun laughed so hard he dropped his chicken leg, Oscar laughed until his bowl almost tipped over, and even Dai Mubai couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

Ning Rongrong continued about Zhu Zhuqing: "Shi Hao scared away Zhuqing's cat today."

Zhu Zhuqing replied coldly: "That cat isn't mine, it belongs to the academy."

Ning Rongrong waved her hand with a smile: "Right, right, the academy's. But that cat is a ten-year soul beast; it's got guts of steel and scratches everyone. Today, Shi Hao walked by and glanced at it—just one look—and the cat hissed, its fur standing on end. It ran faster than a rabbit, screaming like it had seen a ghost."

Ma Hongjun was already laughing uncontrollably: "Seen a ghost? Shi Hao is scarier than a ghost, isn't he?"

Dai Mubai sighed, his tone filled with deep exhaustion: "The most terrifying one is Wang Lin! I'm afraid to walk down the street now in case he suddenly pops out and says, 'The karma is set, you shall die today.' Do you know what he said when he brushed past me yesterday?"

Everyone shook their heads.

Dai Mubai took a deep breath and mimicked Wang Lin's cold, elegant tone: "'There is a bloody disaster on your karmic line.' Then he just walked away without looking back."

Oscar asked nervously: "And then? Did you really have a bloody disaster?"

Dai Mubai pointed expressionlessly at the cut on the corner of his mouth: "I nicked it shaving this morning."

After a moment of silence, an even louder burst of laughter erupted.

Xiao Wu added the final blow: "By the way, where is Third Brother?"

Only then did everyone notice Tang San's seat was empty. Xiao Wu gestured toward the corner of the cafeteria.

Tang San was sitting alone in the corner, holding his bowl. He had a piece of vegetable on his chopsticks, but he wasn't eating; he was zoning out.

There was no expression on his face, but he looked somewhat dejected.

Xiao Wu said something that made everyone go silent: "Oh, he's over there in the corner drawing circles, cursing them."

Tang San put down his bowl and walked over to Xiao Wu. She was chatting with Ning Rongrong, and the moment she saw Tang San, a smile immediately appeared on her face.

Tang San's lips moved a few times, as if he had something to say but didn't know how to start.

Tang San looked at Xiao Wu and, after holding it in for a long time, finally asked: "Xiao Wu, tell me, compared to them, where do I fall short?"

Xiao Wu chewed on her chopsticks, thought for a moment, and started counting on her fingers: "Han Li is more patient than you. He doesn't even blink when people call him an ugly freak. Could you do that?"

Tang San shook his head.

"Xiao Yan is more tenacious than you. He can get knocked down eighteen times and still crawl back up to shout about the river. Could you do that?"

Tang San hesitated, then slowly shook his head.

"Shi Hao is a better fighter than you. Can you pull off that Turtle Fist of his?"

Tang San hesitated again, then shook his head.

"Wang Lin is better at... putting on an act."

Tang San fell silent, because it seemed he really didn't know how to act; he only knew how to smile.

Tang San asked in a low voice, "Then what about me?"

Xiao Wu looked at him, her eyes filled with complex emotions.

Should she speak the truth? Mention his gentleness? His kindness? How he treats others well? But what did any of those words have to do with being "strong"?

She thought for a long time, finally settled on a word, and blurted out, "You're better at crying than them."

Tang San opened his mouth, but not a single word came out; he silently lowered his head.

Seeing Tang San with his head bowed, Xiao Wu suddenly felt her heart soften.

She reached out and stroked Tang San's hair, as if comforting a bullied puppy, "But it's okay, Third Brother, you're the best in my heart!"

Tang San looked up, his eye sockets red, his nose red, his lips trembling with emotion. He grabbed Xiao Wu's hand, his voice choked with sobs, "Xiao Wu! Revive..."

Xiao Wu's palm paused in mid-air for a split second before covering Tang San's mouth—a clean, swift movement that was clearly the result of muscle memory.

"If you say the word 'revive' one more time, I'll actually go die."

Xiao Wu's voice wasn't loud, but it was very serious. Tang San blinked his eyes, not daring to say another word.

At night, in the four-person dormitory.

Xiao Yan sat leaning against the wall with his legs crossed, looking like a total slacker, but his tone carried a complex emotion, "Have you heard? There's a vote at the academy for the most unpopular person, and the four of us swept the top four spots."

Shi Hao flipped up from his bed, his eyes brightening, his voice rising a few octaves, "Who's first?"

Xiao Yan glanced at him, "You."

Shi Hao's expression shifted from anticipation to shock, then from shock to anger. He slammed a fist onto the bed, causing the bed frame to groan under the strain, "Why?! I should be the most popular! I fight people every day and smile at them afterward—I'm so friendly!"

Han Li kept his eyes closed, his tone indifferent, "Because you're crazy."

Wang Lin kept his eyes closed, his tone even more indifferent than Han Li's, "Because you're stupid."

Shi Hao glared at the two of them, his eyes practically spitting fire, "Say that again?"

Han Li and Wang Lin shut their mouths simultaneously, not even lifting their eyelids.

Xiao Yan sighed and delivered the final blow, "Tang San is fifth, because everyone thinks he's annoying but not a bad guy."

The four of them fell silent at the same time. After a long while, Xiao Yan spoke, his tone carrying an indescribable complexity, "Even the floor tiles are ranked fifth; just how much do people hate us..."

This time, no one refuted him.

For once, the four of them sighed in unison.