First Team Battle Fails

Flender has been in a foul mood lately.

It isn't because the Shrek Academy budget has overshot again, though that is a fact, but because those four "special extracurricular" students are far too good at causing trouble. Han Li is keeping a ledger in the cafeteria, Xiao Yan challenged Zhao Wuji and ended up hospitalized for three days, Shi Hao wakes the entire academy at four in the morning, and Wang Lin sealed the soul power of three passersby in Suotuo City.

"We must teach them the meaning of teamwork!" Flender slammed his hand on the table and said to Yu Xiaogang, "Organize a friendly match: the Shrek Seven Devils versus those four thorns... plus Tang San."

Yu Xiaogang pushed up his glasses: "Why add Tang San?"

"Because without Tang San, they only have four people; they can't make a five-man team," Flender replied righteously.

"I'm not asking that. I'm asking, why Tang San?"

"Because he's a floor tile; slotting him in won't affect the balance."

Yu Xiaogang fell silent. He felt there was something wrong with Flender's logic, but he couldn't pinpoint it for the moment, so he chose to keep his mouth shut.

And so, this friendly match, destined to be recorded in the annals of Shrek Academy, was set.

On the day of the match, the training ground was temporarily converted into an arena. The Shrek Seven Devils, excluding Tang San, lined up: Dai Mubai, Oscar, Xiao Wu, Zhu Zhuqing, Ning Rongrong, and Ma Hongjun.

Opposite them stood Han Li, Xiao Yan, Shi Hao, Wang Lin, and Tang San, who had been forcibly shoved in as the "captain."

Tang San stood in the middle of the four, puffing out his chest, feeling that he finally had a place to show his worth. He cleared his throat and assumed the posture of a leader.

"Fellow teammates, listen to my tactical distribution."

He pointed at Han Li: "Brother Han, you excel in formations; you are responsible for long-range control and support."

Han Li looked at him expressionlessly, saying nothing.

Tang San then pointed at Xiao Yan: "Brother Xiao, your Exotic Flame output is strong; you will serve as the main attacker."

Xiao Yan crossed his arms, nose pointed at the sky, not even glancing at him.

Tang San pointed at Shi Hao: "Brother Shi, your physical body is formidable; you are responsible for holding the front line and absorbing damage."

Shi Hao was loosening his joints, muttering about "Arbitrary Eternity," completely ignoring him.

Tang San finally pointed at Wang Lin: "Brother Wang, you..."

Wang Lin gave him a faint, chilling look.

Tang San's words stuck in his throat, a chill running down his back.

"I think..." Tang San continued, biting the bullet, "Brother Wang, you can be responsible for roaming and finishing off opponents..."

"Are you done?" Han Li finally spoke.

Tang San nodded.

Han Li turned and walked away, heading toward the edge of the battlefield.

"Brother Han? Where are you going? The tactics haven't..."

"Shut up, I have my own arrangements," Han Li said without looking back.

Tang San looked at Xiao Yan again.

Xiao Yan sneered: "Who's listening to you? Who do you think you are? Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river—I'll fight my own way!"

Tang San looked at Shi Hao again.

Shi Hao slammed his fists together, his battle intent boiling: "I'll take on ten! What tactics? Just charge in and finish it!"

Tang San looked at Wang Lin again.

Wang Lin brushed some non-existent dust off his sleeve and said indifferently: "This Seat does not team up with floor tiles."

Tang San: "..."

His captain's armband hadn't even been put on yet, and he had already been rejected by the entire team.

Flender stood at the referee's stand and raised his right hand: "Both sides, prepare. Begin!"

Before the words had even faded, Dai Mubai made the first move.

"White Tiger Intense Light Wave!"

A beam of white light erupted from his palms, moving with extreme speed straight toward the five opponents. This was Dai Mubai's signature soul skill—immense power and wide range, the perfect choice for initiating a team fight.

Xiao Yan's eyes lit up: "Well come!"

He kicked off the ground, launching himself forward like a cannonball. The Exotic Flame patterns on his right arm glowed with a cyan light, and the Flame Splitting Wave Ruler condensed in his hand; he intended to meet the White Tiger Intense Light Wave head-on.

Almost at the same instant, Shi Hao also charged out.

"Arbitrary Eternity! Suppress everything!"

His bare-chested muscles bulged, his right fist clenched tight, and he charged toward Dai Mubai with an unstoppable momentum.

Two people, the same direction, the same target.

Then, they collided.

"Bang!"

Xiao Yan's shoulder slammed into Shi Hao's arm, and both lost their balance, stumbling a few steps. Xiao Yan's Flame Splitting Wave Ruler nearly cleaved Shi Hao's head, and Shi Hao's fist nearly smashed into Xiao Yan's chest.

"You're blocking my path!" Xiao Yan roared.

"You're the one blocking me!" Shi Hao retorted.

"I charged first!"

"I was faster than you!"

"Are you sick in the head?"

"You're the one who's sick!"

The two stood face-to-face, hurling insults as spit flew onto each other's faces.

Dai Mubai watched the two bickering in front of him, stunned for a moment, before decisively seizing the opportunity. His White Tiger Intense Light Wave had already been unleashed, yet the pair showed no intention of defending themselves.

"Smack! Smack!"

Dai Mubai struck with both claws, swatting Xiao Yan and Shi Hao away simultaneously.

The two flew off like meteors in opposite directions; one slammed into the training ground wall, leaving a human-shaped crater, while the other crashed into a weapon rack, sending armaments clattering to the floor.

"Two idiots," Dai Mubai said, shaking his claws with disdain.

At the edge of the battlefield, Han Li had already slipped silently into the furthest corner. Crouching behind a large tree, he pulled formation flags and spirit stones from his Storage Bag, beginning to set up a Lost Track Formation.

His movements were swift and practiced, clearly the result of countless repetitions. With the flags driven into the ground and the spirit stones positioned, a simple trapping formation would be complete in under two minutes.

"A bunch of brutes," Han Li muttered to himself while setting the formation. "Once my formation is complete and all seven monsters are trapped, victory will be mine. Everything is under control."

The corners of his mouth curled up; he felt like a genius.

On the battlefield, Wang Lin stood motionless.

It wasn't that he didn't want to move; he simply felt there was no need.

Dressed in white with long, flowing hair and a complexion as pale as snow, he stood in the center of the battlefield like a statue, like a painting, like a perfect target.

Zhu Zhuqing's speed was too great.

She was like a bolt of black lightning, cutting in from the side, silent and swift, moving so fast that not even an afterimage remained. Her target was clear: the effeminate man in white who looked the weakest.

A kick.

"Bang!"

Wang Lin's body flew out like a kite with a broken string, tumbling twice in the air before crashing heavily to the ground, kicking up a cloud of dust.

His white clothes were soiled.

Zhu Zhuqing landed where he had been standing, cast a cold glance at the airborne Wang Lin, and turned to support her teammates.

Then, she heard a voice.

"You have provoked This Seat."

Zhu Zhuqing turned her head.

Wang Lin climbed up from the ground and brushed the dust off his white robes. His expression remained as calm and indifferent as ever, but a chilling, cold light had emerged in his eyes.

He raised his right hand, gray light gathering at his fingertips.

Zhu Zhuqing instinctively took a step back—not out of fear, but out of caution.

Wang Lin did not pursue. He stood his ground, staring at Zhu Zhuqing with a dangerous smile playing on his lips.

"This Seat will remember you."

Zhu Zhuqing frowned slightly. She did not know what those words implied, but she felt a vague sense that she might have provoked someone she shouldn't have.

But this was a match, not the time for small talk.

Zhu Zhuqing vanished from her spot once more.

Tang San decided to do something.

As the captain—though no one actually acknowledged him as such—he felt it was his responsibility to lead the team to victory.

"Blue Silver Grass!"

Tang San pressed his hands to the ground, and dozens of Blue Silver Grass vines erupted from the earth, snaking toward the opposition like serpents. His plan was to bind Dai Mubai and Ma Hongjun, creating an opening for Xiao Yan and Shi Hao to attack, though those two were currently stuck in a wall and a weapon rack respectively, they should be back soon.

The Blue Silver Grass grew rapidly, spreading to the other side of the battlefield in an instant.

Tang San was overjoyed: "It's done!"

Just then, Ma Hongjun made his move.

"Phoenix Fire!"

Purple flames erupted from Ma Hongjun's mouth, sweeping across the entire battlefield like a tidal wave. The temperature of the Phoenix Fire was incredibly high, the natural nemesis of plant-type martial souls.

When the Blue Silver Grass met the Phoenix Fire, it was like paper meeting flame.

It burned.

It all burned.

In a matter of seconds, the Blue Silver Grass that Tang San had painstakingly deployed was reduced to ashes. The flames continued to spread along the path of the vines, nearly singeing Tang San's hair.

Tang San stared at the ashes covering the ground, dumbfounded.

"My grass!"

His voice was filled with shock, heartache, unwillingness, and a sense of desolation that asked, "Why is it always me who gets hurt?"

Ma Hongjun retracted his Phoenix Fire and scratched his head. "Sorry about that. I didn't control the range well and burned your grass."

Before Tang San could reply, a pink figure appeared before him.

Xiao Wu.

She had been circling the edge of the battlefield, waiting for an opportunity. The moment Tang San's Blue Silver Grass was burned away, a gap appeared in his defense. Xiao Wu seized it.

"Waist Bow!"

Xiao Wu lunged at Tang San, grabbed his waist with both hands, leaned back, and used the strength of her waist to fling him away.

Tang San traced a graceful parabola through the air, flew across half the training ground, slammed heavily into the ground, bounced twice, rolled three times, and finally came to a stop beside the tree where Han Li was setting up his formation.

Tang San lay on the ground, his mouth full of dirt, his consciousness fading. He vaguely heard a voice.

"Don't block my formation."

It was Han Li's voice. Then, he was kicked aside by Han Li.

Tang San rolled to the side, flipped over, and stared up at the blue sky, a tear of humiliation tracing a path down his cheek.

"Revive... my lover..."

He whispered, then closed his eyes. Not because of the injury, but because he didn't want to face reality.

Flender stood at the referee's stand, watching the stopwatch.

Less than three minutes after the battle began, four of the five on their side had already fallen: Xiao Yan was stuck in the wall, Shi Hao was in the weapon rack, Tang San was sprawled on the ground, and while Wang Lin was still standing, his white clothes were soiled. Han Li was hiding behind a tree, still setting up his formation.

The six opponents remained completely unscathed.

"Time's up." Flender pressed the stopwatch. "3 minutes and 17 seconds. The Shrek Seven Devils win."

The training ground fell into silence.

Then, Xiao Wu clapped. Ning Rongrong clapped. Oscar clapped. Dai Mubai shook his claws, Zhu Zhuqing retracted her Hell Spirit Cat state, and Ma Hongjun extinguished his Phoenix Fire.

The Shrek Seven Devils high-fived to celebrate, though this victory had come too easily—so easily it was almost boring.

"Are they really this weak?" Ma Hongjun asked.

"It's not that they're weak; they have zero coordination," Dai Mubai shook his head.

Zhu Zhuqing didn't speak, but she glanced in Wang Lin's direction, vaguely feeling that this person was not to be trifled with.

Ning Rongrong secretly gave a thumbs up and whispered to Oscar, "These four plus Third Brother are simply the worst team in history."

Oscar nodded in deep agreement. "They couldn't even last three minutes. They're softer than the sausages I make."

"At least your sausages can last five minutes before getting soft."

"...Are you complimenting me or insulting me?"

"Figure it out yourself."

On the grass, the five of them lay in a heap.

Xiao Yan crawled back from the wall, covered in dust with his right arm dislocated, cursing, "It's all that brute Shi Hao's fault! He blocked my path!"

Shi Hao crawled out of the weapon rack with an iron pot on his head and several spears hanging off him, roaring, "You blocked my path first!"

"You charged first!"

"You started the name-calling!"

"Both of you, shut up!" Han Li walked out from behind the tree, still clutching a few unset formation flags, his face livid. "It's all because you didn't listen to my commands. If my formation had been completed and trapped them all, we would have won."

Xiao Yan glared at him. "You were hiding in the back and you have the nerve to say that? We all fell before your formation was even ready!"

"Setting up a formation takes time!" Han Li said coldly. "You couldn't even last three minutes, and you blame me?"

Shi Hao took the iron pot off his head. "I'm going to fight alone! None of you interfere! I can take on ten by myself!"

"You couldn't even beat Dai Mubai," Wang Lin added coldly, twisting the knife.

Shi Hao glared at Wang Lin. "You have the nerve to talk? You were kicked flying by Zhu Zhuqing! You didn't even fight back!"

Wang Lin's face turned even paler. "This Seat was caught off guard. If she dares to come again, This Seat will make her wish she were dead."

"Keep bragging," Xiao Yan curled his lip.

Gray light flickered between Wang Lin's fingers. "What did you say?"

"I said you're bragging, so what, sissy?"

"Say that again?"

"Sissy! Sissy! Sissy!"

"This Seat—!"

"Enough!"

Tang San finally couldn't take it anymore. He climbed up from the ground, covered in dirt, with grass stuck in his hair and tear stains on his face. He looked at the four of them and took a deep breath.

"It's all my fault."

The four of them looked at him simultaneously.

"If I had been a little stronger," Tang San's tears flowed again, "if my Blue Silver Grass hadn't been burned away, if I hadn't been kicked away by Xiao Wu, if I had only..."

"Alright, alright." Xiao Yan waved his hand, "It is indeed your fault, but it's not entirely your fault."

Tang San was stunned for a moment: "Then who do you think is primarily at fault?"

The four of them exchanged glances and said in unison: "You."

Tang San: "..."

His tears flowed even more fiercely.

In the distance, Flender watched this scene and covered his face.

"What kind of evil did I commit in my past life to take in these four ancestors... no, five."

Yu Xiaogang pushed up his glasses and wrote a line on his clipboard: "Recommendation: Revoke this team's eligibility for the competition. Reason: Hopeless."

Zhao Wuji gloated from the side: "I told you not to take them in back then, but you wouldn't listen. Do you know now?"

Flender glared at him: "Shut up!"

On the training ground, the five of them were still blaming each other.

Han Li said Xiao Yan was too reckless, Xiao Yan said Shi Hao was too crazy, Shi Hao said Wang Lin was too effeminate, Wang Lin said Han Li was too devious, and Tang San said he was wrong, only to be shouted at by the other four simultaneously: "None of your business!"

The sound spread throughout the entire academy; even the old gatekeeper at the entrance heard it.

The old gatekeeper shook his head and muttered to himself: "This batch of students, they're all mentally ill."

He continued reading his newspaper, which featured a headline: "White-Clad Menace appears in Suotuo City, citizens please remain vigilant."

The old gatekeeper did not know that the White-Clad Menace was currently in the academy arguing with people.

And the content of the argument was about who was more incompetent.