Lecturing! Not Even Dogs Would Lecture!

Xiao Kuang hugged the stolen Twenty-Four Petaled Green Lotus of Creation and bolted back to Purple Cloud Palace in a blaze of sparks and lightning—mostly from fear. He slammed shut the heavy, studded doors behind him before finally letting out a long breath.

"Whew... that was close, that was close. Those Three Pure Ones youngsters sure have tempers. I almost got jumped." He patted his chest, still shaken. Though he knew they probably could not break through his defenses, being hunted by three future Saints still put tremendous pressure on him.

Once he had recovered, he looked at the radiant Green Lotus in his arms, brimming with Dao essence, and grinned again.

"Hehehe, once I snatch it, it's mine!" He beamed smugly, paying no heed whatsoever to the warnings of the Heavenly Dao and the Three Pure Ones.

Then he really did carry the lotus to the hot spring pool in the backyard.

"Hmm... where should I put it?" He pondered for a moment, deciding that putting the entire lotus in there would be too large. Besides... "Wouldn't it be a waste of such a nice design to just toss it into the water and let it soak?"

His eyes shifted, and an idea came to him. He summoned that overbearing Heavenly Dao Authority and gestured at the Green Lotus of Creation.

"Heavenly Dao Authority! Minor form adjustment! Function conversion! Change for your lord!"

That incomparably profound Supreme Grade Innate Spiritual Treasure twisted in a burst of light—the Heavenly Dao's code wailed in anguish—and was forcibly compressed and reshaped... until it finally became a large, lush green, lotus-shaped... footbath?!

The basin's rim was made of unfurled lotus leaves, while its body resembled unopened petals. It was even automatically filled with warm spring water containing faint spiritual energy of creation. With authority like that, he did not even have to pay the water bill.

"Perfect!" Xiao Kuang was extremely pleased with his creation. After taking off his shoes and socks—which had been conjured with magic power—he soaked his feet in it. "Whoa! That feels good! The temperature, the texture... as expected of an Innate Spiritual Treasure! This is how foot-soaking should feel!"

He leaned against the edge of the pool, enjoying the ultimate footbath experience brought by the Green Lotus of Creation Basin, his eyes narrowing contentedly.

Just soaking his feet was a little boring.

His mind became active again, and he shouted toward the main hall, "Xi He! Chang Xi! Come over here!"

The two Lunar Goddesses approached with cold expressions, clearly unwilling. The moment they saw the "footbath" giving off a familiar yet unfamiliar aura, their pupils suddenly contracted!

That was... the Three Pure Ones' Green Lotus of Creation?! It had... it had been turned into a footbath?!!

Even though they had developed a certain resistance to the absurd behavior of this salted-fish Dao Ancestor, they still felt suffocating dizziness and absurdity at that moment! Even "wanton destruction of a treasure" could not begin to describe it!

"What do you want?" Chang Xi asked irritably, her tone frozen solid.

Xiao Kuang sighed comfortably and pointed at his shoulders. "Nothing major. Isn't standing around here boring? Come on, massage my shoulders and rub my back. This Dao Ancestor handles countless affairs every day—not really—and is terribly exhausted."

"You!" Xi He trembled with rage. Lunar frost energy spilled from her uncontrollably, instantly coating the ground beneath her feet in ice. "Xiao Kuang! Do not go too far!"

Soaking his feet in an Innate Spiritual Treasure was not enough—he wanted the Lunar Goddesses to serve as massage girls too?!

[Heavenly Dao: ... Detected the proxy making an unreasonable demand... Recommendation... refuse... (the code was listless)]

Xiao Kuang glared and directly invoked his authority. "Heavenly Dao Authority! Mandatory employment supplementary clause! Party B must provide necessary services for physical and mental health and relaxation! Hurry up! Otherwise, I'll dock your merit!"

The invisible power of the Heavenly Dao descended once more. Though filled with reluctance and sluggishness, it still forcibly carried out the command.

Xi He and Chang Xi immediately felt their bodies slip beyond their control. Stiffly, they walked behind Xiao Kuang, raised their slender jade hands, and began massaging his shoulders with humiliatingly moderate force—controlled by the authority.

Feeling the "service" behind him, laced with icy killing intent, Xiao Kuang hummed in comfort. "Mm... yes... just that much pressure... a little to the left... ah, that feels good..."

Soaking his feet in the Green Lotus of Creation Basin, enjoying massages from the Lunar Goddesses, and watching dragons, phoenixes, and Kirin stroll leisurely through the backyard zoo, Xiao Kuang felt that his little life in the Primordial Chaos had reached its peak.

"Sigh, it's just this lecturing business..." Happy times always reminded him of annoying work. "What exactly should I lecture about...?"

As his shoulders were kneaded, he started worrying again. Countless thoughts flashed through his head: Postpartum Care for Sows? On Protracted War? How to Efficiently Slack Off?

The more he thought about it, the more his head hurt.

"Damn it!" He suddenly waved his hand in irritation. "I'm not thinking about it anymore! Whatever happens, happens!"

He completely gave up and thought, When the time comes, I'll just ramble nonsense! If I can bluff them, great; if not, then forget it!

"Isn't there the Heavenly Dao?!" He righteously found himself the ultimate excuse. "It's the one making me lecture! It has to cover for me! If I can't keep talking or something goes wrong, it'll definitely have to come clean up the mess! Otherwise, it's the Heavenly Dao that'll lose face!"

"Right! That's what I'll do! To hell with preparing lessons! I'll wing it! The Heavenly Dao can cover for me anyway!"

The moment that thought arose, his mind became clear and his body relaxed. Even soaking his feet felt better. The massages on his shoulders no longer seemed quite so humiliating—mainly because he was getting used to them.

[Heavenly Dao: ...((′-﹏-`;))...]

[Detected proxy decision: abandon lesson preparation... rely on the Heavenly Dao to cover for him...]

[Risk assessment: extremely high... risk of deviations in the Primordial Chaos beings' comprehension of the Dao... risk of worldline disturbance...]

[Response plan: ... none... (insufficient computing power)]

[Contingency plan: ... activate highest-level emergency protocol... protocol contents: ... pray... (garbled code)...]

For the first time, the Heavenly Dao's cold consciousness revealed an emotion close to "despair" and "giving up." It seemed to have foreseen the disastrous lecture three thousand years from now, one destined to be recorded in Primordial Chaos history—on its pillar of shame.

It watched the salted-fish Dao Ancestor soaking his feet in the Green Lotus of Creation, enjoying massages from the Lunar Goddesses, and even humming, "We common folk sure are happy today." Its core code turned ice-cold.

This generation's Dao Ancestor was beyond saving. This generation's Primordial Chaos was doomed sooner or later.

Silently and completely, it concealed all fluctuations, as if entering a state of "self-isolation," preparing never to emerge again before the lecture began.

Out of sight, out of mind. Though it had no mind.