To the great powers of the Primordial Chaos, three thousand years were no more than the flick of a finger.
As the date of the lecture drew closer, the chaotic land Beyond the Thirty-Three Heavens shed its usual lifeless silence and became unprecedentedly "lively."
Brilliant streaks of escaping light tore through the void as figures rushed in from every corner of the Primordial Chaos. Some immortals, bearing an air of transcendence, rode clouds and cranes; some with surging demonic qi rode the winds and chased the stars; some shrouded in baleful demonic aura turned into shadows to flee; others, overflowing with blood qi, simply crossed the chaos with their powerful physical bodies!
The closer they came to the legendary Purple Cloud Palace, the more violent the Chaos Qi Flow became, and the greater the obstruction. Ordinary Golden Immortals could barely move here and needed spiritual treasures to protect themselves if they wished to advance. This invisibly conducted a round of selection. Those who could reach the deepest reaches were all top-tier great powers of the Primordial Chaos.
Conflict was inevitable.
"Get lost! I claimed this path first!" A savage giant beast roared, attempting to smash aside the black-robed figure before it. "Hmph, an ignorant beast!" A cold sneer came from beneath the black robe. A streak of sickly green demonic fire shot out, scorching the beast's scales black and sending it howling away. Elsewhere, sword light clashed with demon arts amid endless thunderous booms. "Di Jun! Taiyi! This is not your Sun Star. How dare you act so arrogantly!" a reclusive great power thundered. "The opportunities of the Primordial Chaos belong to the strong! Fellow Daoist Kunpeng, don't you agree?" Eastern Emperor Taiyi held the Chaos Bell in his arms. With a gentle chime, it shattered every divine ability striking from the surroundings, his tone carrying innate pride. Old Ancestor Kunpeng gave a sinister smile without answering, his figure flickering like a ghost as he tried to seize a position farther ahead.
The Three Pure Ones arrived together. Laozi of the Grand Pure wore the Mysterious Yellow Exquisite Pagoda above his head, immune to all laws; Jade Pure Primordial Heavenly Venerate held the Three Treasures Jade Ruyi, its rosy light guarding his body; Upper Pure Heavens Leader was surrounded by crisscrossing sword qi that tore apart the chaos. Wherever they passed, every conflict subsided, and no one dared lightly test their edge. Yet Primordial Lord of Heaven's face remained dark, clearly still brooding over the Green Lotus of Creation that had been taken from him.
Empress Nuwa arrived atop a blue luan, naturally radiating an auspicious and peaceful aura. No one dared provoke her. Jieyin and Zhunti wore bitter expressions as they struggled forward through the chaos, endlessly muttering things like, "This treasure is destined for me," and "Fellow Daoist, please stay," while trying to leech off others' protective divine light, drawing many eye rolls.
From the direction of Pangu Hall, only Houtu Ancestral Witch came quietly alone. She did not reveal her true Ancestral Witch body, instead arriving through an incarnation of her primordial spirit. Her aura was comparatively obscure, and as she watched the disputes around her, her brows furrowed slightly.
The closer they came to the chaotic core where a "safe zone" had been cleared, the fiercer the fighting became. Everyone wanted to seize the initiative. Perhaps the first to enter Purple Cloud Palace would obtain the legendary opportunity of a Meditation Cushion?
However, when the first group of great powers—led by the Three Pure Ones, Di Jun Tai Yi, Kunpeng, Nuwa, and others—struggled through the final barrier of chaos and finally arrived before the gates of the legendary "Purple Cloud Palace," everyone froze as though struck by an immobilizing spell, staring dumbfounded at the sight before them.
What... what was this?!
Where was the ancient, solemn Purple Cloud Palace, naturally imbued with Dao charm, they had been promised?
Why was the style of the building before them... so bizarre? Those flickering RGB Glazed Tiles? That heavy metal gate studded with rivets? The two stone lions at the entrance, one vacant-eyed and the other yawning? And the plaque above the gate—
"Slacking Off... no, Purple Cloud Palace"?!
Every character seemed to challenge the limits of their comprehension!
"Th-this is truly the Dao Ancestor's cultivation ground?" Even Laozi of the Grand Pure, whose state of mind was the most profound, could not help wondering whether he had come to the wrong place and stumbled into some Chaos Demon God's prank den.
Primordial Lord of Heaven's face was as black as the bottom of a pot as he forced several words through clenched teeth. "What disgraceful conduct!!" He felt his obsessive compulsions about to flare up.
Sect Master Tongtian's eyes, however, lit up. "Interesting! This style... is wild! Unconventional!"
Di Jun and Taiyi looked at each other, each seeing deep suspicion and absurdity in the other's eyes. The Demon Emperor even began to wonder whether mobilizing the full strength of the Demon Race to attend this lecture had truly been the right decision.
Empress Nuwa's lips parted slightly, her beautiful eyes filled with astonishment. Jieyin and Zhunti opened their mouths wide, even forgetting to chant about destiny. Old Ancestor Kunpeng's gaze flickered as he sensed strangeness everywhere in this place. Houtu Ancestral Witch merely frowned faintly. That reassuring aura still seemed to linger, but the visual impact was simply too overwhelming.
Just as everyone hesitated, shocked and questioning their lives, the heavy riveted gate emitted a teeth-grating creak and slowly opened by itself, leaving a narrow crack.
An even more complicated scent rushed out from within. The smell of engine oil? (Gaming Chair.) The smell of spices? (Seasoning prepared for grilled skewers.) The sulfurous scent of hot springs? And a faint trace of... foot odor? (Residue from the Green Lotus footbath.)
The great powers: "..." This smell... was far too complicated, wasn't it?!
But the gates had opened, and the Dao Ancestor's aura—strange though it was—was undeniably drifting out from within. They had already come this far. They could not exactly turn around and leave, could they?
The Three Pure Ones exchanged glances. Suppressing their discomfort, they were the first to step inside. The other great powers also restrained their urge to complain and filed in after them, their emotions exceedingly complicated and their hearts full of vigilance.
And then...
There was no then.
The instant everyone stepped into Purple Cloud Palace's main hall, the sight before them turned these well-traveled, tribulation-hardened peak powers of the Primordial Chaos to stone. Their minds completely crashed!
What entered their sight was not the cloud couches, Meditation Cushions, golden lamps, jeweled tassels, violet qi, and golden flowers they had expected...
Instead, there were rows of strange chairs that gleamed with cold metallic light, wrapped in unknown leather, and shaped in peculiar ways—chairs? (Ergonomic gaming chairs.) At the very front, there was no Dao platform, only an even larger and more complicated recliner covered in countless protrusions and rollers—a lounge chair? (Fully Automatic Massage Chair.) Beside it stood a pole topped with a round ball? (A microphone.) A faint, strange fragrance that made people relax filled the air. (Aromatherapy Essential Oil, something Xiao Kuang had messed around with.) Toward the rear side, they could see a corridor leading farther in, from which came the faint sound of flowing water and... the sizzling of roasting meat? (A barbecue grill preheating.) Along with several distant dragon roars and phoenix cries. (A zoo.)
This... this was fucking Purple Cloud Palace?! This looked like some mortal nouveau riche's pleasure den!
At this moment, everyone's Dao hearts suffered an unprecedented shock and baptism!
They stood stupidly at the entrance, staring at the interior decoration that surpassed all imagination, unable to utter a single word.
The entire hall was silent as death.
Only the luxurious massage recliner at the very front was automatically performing its back-pounding program, producing a steady, faint "bzzz, bzzz" from its motor. In the pin-drop silence, it sounded exceptionally clear and... grating.
Before you continue