Just as the great powers of the Primordial Chaos stood dumbfounded by the "shocking decor" inside Purple Skydome Palace and began doubting the meaning of life, a lazy, yawning voice came from the rear of the hall.
"Ahh—who's knocking so early in the morning... Oh, quite a few people showed up, huh?"
With the sound of footsteps, Xiao Kuang strolled out from the rear hall, rubbing his sleepy eyes. He wore a crooked set of pajamas conjured from Chaos Qi—something like an old man's undershirt and baggy shorts—and shuffled along in flip-flops.
His appearance, his outfit, showing up in this "solemn and dignified" Purple Skydome Palace—which absolutely was not—nearly blinded every great power present!
Yet before they could recover from this new round of visual shock, several people in the crowd instantly recognized that face!
"You?!" The Three Pure Ones cried out almost at the same time, their eyes widening! Primordial Lord of Heaven was so furious that his fingers trembled as he pointed at Xiao Kuang. "Vile thief! Treasure-stealing scoundrel! How dare you be here?!"
At almost the same moment, Gong Gong among the Ancestral Witches—though he had returned to human form, his face was still somewhat scorched black—leapt up as well. His bell-sized eyes were filled with fury and shock. "That damned thunder-struck bastard?! What are you doing here?!"
When enemies met, their hatred flared all the brighter!
Old grudges and new hatred surged into their hearts. Primordial Lord of Heaven and Gong Gong instinctively moved to bring out their spirit treasures and reveal their true forms, ready to blast this shameless bastard into dust! Who cared whether this was Purple Skydome Palace or not!
But while they moved quickly, Heavenly Dao—forced to work—reacted even faster!
[Heavenly Dao: Strong hostility and intent to attack the proxy detected... Activating automatic defense mechanism... Deploying... Purple Skydome Divine Thunder (minimum-power taunting version)...]
Boom! Crack! Boom! Crack!
Two much thinner but incredibly swift and precise purple lightning serpents appeared out of thin air as if they had eyes, mercilessly striking the foreheads of Primordial Lord of Heaven and Gong Gong just as they made their moves!
"Urgh!" "Aah!"
Two short cries of pain rang out.
Primordial Lord of Heaven's jade crown was blasted crooked, his hair came undone, and his handsome face instantly turned black with soot. A wisp of green smoke drifted from his mouth as his body stiffened in the very pose of summoning the Jade Ruyi, unable to move.
Gong Gong had it even worse. The Water Origin Power he had just gathered instantly collapsed, and his entire body became charred outside and tender within once more. Every strand of his hair stood on end as he remained frozen in a forward stance with a punching fist, twitching all over while the whites of his eyes rolled back.
Laozi and Tongtian of the Three Pure Ones, as well as Di Jun, Taiyi, Nuwa, and every other great power nearby, all sucked in a breath and forcibly swallowed their startled cries and any hostile thoughts that might have arisen!
Purple Skydome Divine Thunder! Purple Skydome Divine Thunder again! Within Purple Skydome Palace, could one truly summon Heavenly Dao's divine lightning at will to strike people?! And it had struck Primordial Lord of Heaven, one of the Three Pure Ones, and Gong Gong, an Ancestral Witch!
This sleepy-eyed fellow wearing shorts, an undershirt, and flip-flops... Could he really be... the Dao Ancestor?!
At that moment, no one doubted his identity any longer. There was only endless shock, absurdity, and deep wariness! This Dao Ancestor's style and methods were simply too damn bizarre!
Xiao Kuang was startled by the sudden thunderbolt as well. He patted his chest, then looked at the miserable state of his two old acquaintances—especially Primordial Lord of Heaven, who wanted to explode in rage but did not dare, trembling all over from holding it in—and nearly laughed out loud.
Suppressing his laughter, he coughed twice and waved a hand. "Ahem, silence, silence! No shouting or fighting inside Purple Skydome Palace! Since this is your first offense, consider it a small punishment and a stern warning. Don't let it happen again!"
His gaze swept across the silent, terrified crowd below. He saw the six conspicuous gaming ergonomic chairs and recalled that they seemed to be "VIP seats," so he casually asked, "Oh, right. Who's sitting in the six chairs up front?"
Whoosh!
The instant he finished speaking, every great power—whether the Three Pure Ones, aside from the thunder-paralyzed Primordial Lord of Heaven, Di Jun and Taiyi, Kunpeng, Zhen Yuanzi, Hong Yun, or anyone else—almost unanimously and with perfect tacit understanding took a huge step backward!
It was as if those six chairs were not opportunities, but terrifying instruments of torture!
Was this a joke? Had they not seen the first person to stir up trouble get struck by lightning? Those chairs looked extremely strange. Who knew whether sitting on them would violate some heavenly rule? This Dao Ancestor did not play by the rules at all. It was better to be cautious!
Xiao Kuang looked at the six empty seats and the crowd that had collectively backed away, the corner of his mouth twitching. "...Is that really necessary?"
[Heavenly Dao: ...Reminder... The front-row seats contain opportunities... Important targets must be guided into taking their seats... (code listlessly dragging itself along)]
Heavenly Dao had no choice but to remind this bastard who had forgotten the script.
Only then did Xiao Kuang remember that there seemed to be such a thing. Scratching his head, he began calling people out. "You, you, you, and you two. Yeah, you three brothers—the Three Pure Ones—and you—Nuwa—and those two guys over there with the miserable faces—Jieyin and Zhunti. Come over and sit here!"
The Three Pure Ones who had been called out—Laozi and Tongtian supporting the blackened Primordial Lord of Heaven—along with Nuwa, Jieyin, and Zhunti, instantly wore exceptionally colorful expressions.
Sit? Or not sit?
Looking at Xiao Kuang's kindly—yet venomous—eyes that seemed to say, If you don't sit, I'll strike you with lightning, as well as the still-smoking Primordial Lord of Heaven and Gong Gong nearby as examples...
The five of them—Jieyin and Zhunti counted as two—looked at one another and saw nothing but helplessness and stifled misery in each other's eyes.
In the end, led by Laozi of the Three Pure Ones, the five of them, along with the half-paralyzed Primordial Lord of Heaven, moved toward the six gaming chairs with agonizing slowness, as though marching to their deaths.
The moment they sat down cautiously with grim determination—
"Bzzz..." The gaming chairs' sensors detected their weight and activated automatically! The lumbar supports rose! The headrests adjusted! The armrests shifted! There was even a gentle vibrating massage function!
"Urgh!" "Ah!" "What is this?!" "My waist!" "Hiss... It's kind of comfortable?"
Five cries and muffled groans of varying intensity rang out at once!
When had the Three Pure Ones ever experienced such "technology and ruthless craftsmanship"? They only felt that the objects beneath them were incomparably strange, automatically conforming to the curves of their bodies. An indescribable numb, aching sensation spread from their waists, nearly causing them to lose their Dao hearts! For Primordial Lord of Heaven, the lingering numbness from the lightning strike overlapped with the massage, making his eyes roll back from the overwhelming sensation.
Empress Nuwa cried out as well, startled by the sudden vibration. Her pretty face flushed slightly as she felt that this chair... was far too improper! Jieyin and Zhunti, meanwhile, felt their bottoms bouncing and shaking beneath them. They nearly thought it was another punishment and almost jumped up. Only after realizing it seemed harmless did they sit back down with bitter expressions.
The six future saints ordained by Heaven were experiencing unprecedented "instruments of torture" atop those bizarre ergonomic chairs, letting out decidedly unsaintly wails and groans. The scene was extremely awkward for a time.
The crowd below watched with tingling scalps, even more grateful that they had not sat in those "torture chairs."
Watching them, Xiao Kuang curled his lip. "Country bumpkins. Never seen high-end stuff before, have you?" He snapped his fingers and shouted toward the rear hall, "Hey, you there! Dragon Girl, Phoenix Girl, Kirin Girl, all of you come out and get to work! Serve tea to our fellow Daoists!"
Immediately, a group of breathtakingly beautiful young women of the Dragon, Phoenix, and Kirin clans emerged timidly. They wore matching conjured garments—something like modern maid outfits, though with more immortal charm—and carried teacups made from Chaos Spirit Jade, steeped with Chaos Tea Leaves. They began distributing "tea" to the great powers below.
Watching these young noblewomen of the Three Innate Races, who should have been proud and haughty, now serving tea and water, the great powers all stared at their noses and focused on their hearts. None dared breathe loudly, and even their hands trembled slightly as they accepted the teacups.
Purple Skydome Palace was steeped in an air of perversity, inside and out, from top to bottom!
[Heavenly Dao: ...(((;￢＿￢)))...] [The atmosphere for expounding the Dao has been detected as extremely unserious... The proxy's actions have seriously deviated from the preset course...] [Core request: ...Stop playing around... Start expounding the Dao already... Wasting time is wasting life (Primordial Chaos version)...]
Heavenly Dao's will, carrying a near-breaking weariness, urged Xiao Kuang once again.
Only then did Xiao Kuang reluctantly walk over to the luxurious massage recliner at the very front and plop down into it. The chair let out a comfortable hum and automatically adjusted itself to the optimal reclining angle.
He picked up the microphone beside him and blew into it, producing a piercing burst of static. Looking at the Primordial Chaos great powers below, who were sitting upright—or slumped in the gaming chairs—with numb expressions, he lazily began:
"Alright, alright, everyone's here, right? Hey, someone close the doors. This session of our 'Primordial Chaos Great Dao Seminar' can officially begin!"
"Today's first lecture will mainly discuss... uh... On the Importance of Sustainable Slacking Off to the Development of Primordial Chaos Spiritual Civilization..."
Before you continue