Demon Emperor, This Slacking Way Makes Some Sense!

The days in Purple Heaven Palace returned to their usual calm (or rather, dead silence) rhythm of slacking off. Xiao Kuang had long since put the unpleasant memories from his "sleepwalking" period behind him, continuing to focus on developing the 101st way to make chaotic barbecue, and urging the maid ensemble's singing and dancing skills to catch up to the "Primordial Girl Group."

Just as he was attempting to slow-roast a chaotic chicken with Samadhi True Fire (which resulted in an unnamable lump of charcoal), the heavy, riveted door outside the Purple Heaven Palace was knocked upon in a manner that was extremely proper, even a little cautious.

Knock... Knock knock...

The sound wasn't loud, but it carried a clear sense of reverence and hesitation.

"Huh? Someone's actually knocking?" Xiao Kuang was a little surprised. Normally, not even ghosts would come to Purple Heaven Palace. Did the sun rise in the west today? "Who is it? Selling insurance or checking the water meter? The door's not locked, come in yourself!"

The door was slowly pushed open a crack, and a figure clad in imperial robes, wearing a crown, with the Solar True Fire faintly circulating around him, walked in somewhat awkwardly. It was none other than the Demon Emperor Di Jun.

He entered the great hall and saw the familiar, eye-searing decor, as well as Xiao Kuang lounging in a massage chair, holding a charred stick (the failed product of the roasted chicken). Di Jun's eyes couldn't help but twitch, but he quickly lowered his head and respectfully bowed:

"The Demon Race's Di Jun, pays respects to the Dao Ancestor."

Xiao Kuang blinked in surprise, "Yo, it's Little Di? What a rare guest! What brings you to my humble abode? Are you short on virtue... ah, no, short on Merit? Or did you get into another fight with those water monkeys?"

Di Jun was momentarily choked by the overly "familiar" address. He gritted his teeth and said, "Replying to the Dao Ancestor, it is not so. This junior... this junior is here to submit... a thought report." He felt his teeth ache as he uttered those words.

"Thought report?" Xiao Kuang was even more confused. He scratched his head, "What thought report? When did I ever receive such a thing? Did you come to the wrong door? The neighbors, Jieyin and Zhunti, seem to be fond of that sort of thing."

Di Jun: "..." He looked up at Xiao Kuang's completely genuine look of bewilderment, his heart filled with even more doubt. Could it be that the Dao Ancestor from last time, who was cold and majestic and made them write letters of repentance, was not the same person as the one before him? Or perhaps, it was some state of the Dao Ancestor that they couldn't comprehend?

He didn't dare to ask more. He could only cautiously take out a scroll from his sleeve, forged from Solar Divine Gold, inscribed with countless tiny runes, exuding an aura of heat and majesty. He offered it with both hands:

"May the Dao Ancestor enlighten me. It is from after the last... Witch-Demon conflict, when you personally came down to reprimand us juniors for causing chaos in the Primordial Era, punished my Demon Race to confinement for reflection, and ordered this junior to write an eight-thousand-character letter of repentance and regular thought reports... This is the first installment, please review it, Dao Ancestor."

Xiao Kuang listened, dumbfounded. Me? Personally came down? Reprimanded? Letter of repentance? Eight thousand characters? Which of these words applies to me?

He instantly realized – it must be that old trickster, the Heavenly Dao, who, while he wasn't paying attention, used his account to mess around again!

"Ahem!" He immediately coughed twice, forcibly suppressing the bewilderment on his face, and put on a profound look of "Oh, I remember now." He took the heavy Solar Divine Gold scroll, which was heavy enough to kill a Golden Immortal, and casually weighed it, "Hmm... yes, there was such a thing. This seat is busy with countless matters and occasionally forgets minor things. Present it."

He opened the scroll and saw that it was densely filled with text written in Dao patterns. The entire scroll was filled with clichés like "This subject deserves death," "I should not have acted impulsively," "I have failed the Heavenly Dao's high hopes," "I will definitely reflect deeply," and "I will strive to build a harmonious Primordial Era." The text exuded a strong sense of "forced to work."

Xiao Kuang yawned as he read it. This thing was more sleep-inducing than a calculus textbook.

But now he was posing as the Dao Ancestor, and he couldn't just say "What is this garbage, take it away quickly." He had no choice but to put on a brave face, imitating some kind of leader's tone, and said nonchalantly, "Hmm... it's written... quite profoundly. Recognizing that fighting is bad is commendable."

Di Jun lowered his head, the corners of his mouth twitching almost imperceptibly.

Xiao Kuang continued to flip through the scroll and suddenly saw a passage complaining about the difficulty of managing the Demon Race internally, with various demon gods having different intentions and difficulties in coordination. His eyes lit up!

Aha, I'm familiar with this! Managing employees! It's essentially the same as slacking off!

He immediately perked up, closed the scroll, sat up straight (the massage chair also lifted him up), and put on a posture of giving advice that would shape the world:

"Little Di, regarding the management issues mentioned in your report, this seat has some different views."

Di Jun was startled and quickly said respectfully, "Please enlighten me, Dao Ancestor!"

"Look," Xiao Kuang said earnestly, "You always feel that your subordinate demon gods don't obey orders, don't perform well, right? You think it's because they're not working hard enough, not loyal enough, right?"

Di Jun hesitated for a moment and nodded. This was indeed one of his troubles.

"Wrong! Completely wrong!" Xiao Kuang slapped the armrest of the massage chair, "The root of the problem is – the work you're making them do is too tiring! Too boring! There's no room for slacking off at all!"

"Ah?" Di Jun was completely bewildered.

"Think about it," Xiao Kuang began to impart his philosophy of lazy management, "Life is long, cultivation is tedious, who doesn't want to sneak in a nap or slack off occasionally? You're forcing them to cultivate, wage war, and expand territory all day long, giving them no personal time. Who wouldn't get tired of it? Who wouldn't want to resist?"

"This..." Di Jun seemed to grasp something, but also felt it was extremely absurd.

"Therefore, a wise leader doesn't just exploit their subordinates, but knows how to... humanely slack off!" Xiao Kuang said proudly, "You need to actively create conditions for them to slack off! For example, stipulate that they work for four hours a day, and the rest of the time is free! Two days off per week! No, three days off! And an annual paid vacation! If they complete tasks well, reward them with Merit points, so they can exchange them for delicious food and fun things!"

"This way, everyone has something to look forward to, and time to relax. They'll be more willing to put in a little effort during 'work hours'! This is called 'balance'! It's more effective than whipping them until the whip breaks!"

Di Jun listened, dumbfounded, his mind racing, trying to comprehend this unprecedented "management philosophy." Paid annual leave? Merit point rewards? Can this... can this really work?

"Also," Xiao Kuang became more animated as he spoke, "For those troublemakers, or those who are not proactive in their work, don't always resort to violence. Punishment can also be 'slacking off'! For example, punish them to guard the warehouse for ten thousand years! That place is leisurely, perfect for slacking off, but for those who are warlike, it's worse than solitary confinement! Or punish them to write a hundred-thousand-character work summary! I guarantee it'll make them doubt life and never dare to be lazy again!"

Di Jun subconsciously imagined himself being punished to write a hundred-thousand-character summary and immediately shivered. This punishment... was indeed a bit harsh (for those who are too lazy to put pen to paper)!

He looked at the Dao Ancestor before him, who was eloquently expounding on the "Great Dao of Lazy Management," his sense of incongruity and reverence intertwined, becoming extremely complex. The Dao Ancestor's conduct and remarks were subverting his understanding every time.

But for some reason, he vaguely felt that this seemingly absurd theory... might actually have some truth to it?

Perhaps... he could really try it? Implement "two days off" and a "Merit point redemption list" for the Demon Race?

Seeing Di Jun lost in thought, Xiao Kuang nodded with satisfaction, feeling that he had successfully "enlightened" another lost lamb.

He slumped back into the massage chair and waved his hand, "Alright, this seat has received the report. It's written passably well. Go back and diligently practice the 'Lazy Management Method' this seat has taught you. For the next report, focus on writing about the practical results! Go, go!"

Di Jun seemed to awaken from a dream and quickly bowed, "Thank you for your guidance, Dao Ancestor! This junior... this junior will carefully consider and attempt to practice it upon returning!" His tone actually carried a hint of sincere gratitude and eagerness to try.

With a head full of brand-new, uniquely styled "management insights," Di Jun respectfully exited Purple霄 Palace.

Xiao Kuang watched his retreating back and hummed a little tune proudly, "I'm a genius! I got away with it again! And I got a big gold bar (the Solar Divine Gold scroll) for free! This thing should sell for a lot of money, right?"

Meanwhile, Di Jun, who had left Purple霄 Palace, looked back at the palace in the chaos, his eyes filled with unfathomable complexity.

He looked down at the draft of the "Demon Race Two Days Off Trial Regulations" (a sudden inspiration) that he was preparing to issue upon his return, then thought about the possibility of "Merit point redemption for hot spring vacations," and finally let out a long, ambiguous sigh.

"This Dao Ancestor... is truly unfathomable..."

The landscape of the Primordial Era seemed to be quietly changing in some bizarre direction.

Heavenly Dao (shivered in its sleep): Zzz... (Mysteriously felt that something bad had happened again)...