Ideological Report Queue

After Di Jun left with a belly full of "tips for slacking off at work," the Purple Heaven Palace seemed to have unlocked some strange traffic password.

Not long after, the heavy, riveted door was knocked on once again.

This time, it was the Ancestral Witch Gong Gong, his murderous aura not yet completely faded, but his face filled with frustration and confusion. In his hand, he carried a massive, rough "letter of repentance" carved from a flagstone of Buzhou Mountain, covered in crooked Wu clan script. He peeked his head in through the doorway and boomed, "Is... is the Dao Ancestor in? I... I'm here to submit my... thought report..."

Xiao Kuang was in the middle of instructing a Phoenix Girl on how to make crème brûlée with Southern Bright Lihuo. Interrupted, he was very impatient, but remembering Heavenly Dao's "substitute" last time, he had no choice but to grit his teeth and accept it. He said irritably, "Come in, come in! Put the stone by the door! Your handwriting looks like scribbles, who can understand it!"

Gong Gong acted as if he had been granted a great pardon. He quickly placed the heavy stone slab by the door with a clang that shook the floor, then ran off without looking back, as if Chaos Demon Gods were chasing him.

Immediately after, as if by appointment, a long line began to form outside the Purple Heaven Palace!

Grand Pure One Laozi arrived riding a Green Ox, submitting a jade slip written with the Classic of the Way and Virtue, filled with profound self-reflection yet subtly conveying his speechless exasperation. Primordial Lord of Heaven, with a stern face, delivered a scroll that had been blessed by the Three Treasures Jade Ruyi, shimmering with golden light, its script neat but cold and devoid of emotion. Sect Master Tongtian was the most outrageous; he submitted a self-developed "Immortal Slaying Sword Formation Mahjong," claiming it was "reflecting on the mistakes of conflict through entertainment." Xiao Kuang grumblingly accepted it and placed it in a corner. Empress Nuwa sent a pair of clay figures, so lifelike they were bowing and apologizing to each other. The creativity was good, but Xiao Kuang felt the cost of making them might be more than the repentance letter itself. The Jieyin and Zhunti duo, with mournful faces, submitted a thirty-thousand-word report detailing how barren the Western Regions were, how difficult things were, that fighting was out of desperation, and requesting Heavenly Dao to allocate funds for disaster relief. Xiao Kuang threw it directly out. Old Ancestor Kunpeng, Old Ancestor Minghe, Zhen Yuanzi, Hong Yun... and even some Great Witches and Demon Saints who had "stood out" during the Wu-Demon War, all received "Heavenly Dao transmissions" (automatically sent by residual Heavenly Dao programs) and had to brace themselves to submit these inexplicable "thought reports."

For a time, the chaotic region beyond the Thirty-Three Heavens, which was usually so deserted that not even birds would shit there, became bustling like a marketplace. Mighty figures arrived and departed in streams of light, their faces showing a mixture of reluctance and curiosity.

Outside the Purple Heaven Palace, the repentance letter on the bluestone slab that Gong Gong had thrown down had actually become a landmark. Later arrivals would glance at it curiously, then reveal a knowing, helpless smile.

Xiao Kuang was utterly annoyed! He just wanted to laze around peacefully, but now people were knocking on his door every day, and he had to begrudgingly "review" reports he couldn't understand at all.

"Next! Hurry up! My time is precious!" he yelled weakly from his massage chair. A small pile of various "report materials" had already accumulated beside him, ranging from jade slips and scrolls to animal skins and stone slabs.

The one entering was the Demon Master Kunpeng, who submitted a report written on feathers, filled with schemes, calculations, and an air of shirking responsibility.

Xiao Kuang casually glanced at it, not reading the content at all, and immediately started to scold, "The writing is so dense, do you want to tire this seat to death? Bad review! Go back and rewrite it! The format needs to be loose, the font size needs to be large, and it's best to include some pictures! Otherwise, it's a headache to look at!"

Kunpeng: "???" His carefully crafted words of defense were completely useless. He could only leave with a dark expression, holding his rejected report.

The next was Old Ancestor Hong Yun, who cheerfully submitted a report full of goodwill and self-criticism.

Xiao Kuang still didn't read the content, yawning, "Your attitude is okay, but the word count isn't enough! Eight thousand words! This is at most seven thousand nine hundred! Go back and add a hundred words! Make it profound!"

Hong Yun: "..." He entered with a smile and left in a daze.

Later, Xiao Kuang simply got an automatic stamp machine (manifested using Heavenly Dao Authority) with words like "Read," "Utter Nonsense," "Rewrite," "Incorrect Format," and "Try Harder Next Time" engraved on it. He would randomly stamp one for whoever came and then quickly send them away.

Efficiency greatly improved!

And amidst this tedious "review" work, Xiao Kuang's extremely lazy mind was once again forced to come up with new "slacking off" inspiration.

He noticed that these reports often mentioned names of spiritual treasures, spiritual roots, or special regions, which seemed to be the good things these mighty figures coveted.

"Eh? Since they all want to appease me anyway, why not..." Xiao Kuang's eyes grew brighter and brighter.

Thus, from a certain day onwards, the mighty figures who came to submit their thought reports found an extra step in the process.

"Hmm, the report is written so-so." Xiao Kuang stamped "Read," then casually flipped through the report, pointing to a section mentioning "a certain immortal island" or "a certain spiritual treasure," and said nonchalantly, "This place/thing sounds interesting. Bring it here for this seat to examine. Submit it together with your next report."

The mighty figures: "!!!"

This... this was blatant bribery!

However, facing this unfathomable (with a peculiar thought process) Dao Ancestor who could summon Purple Heaven Divine Thunder at any time, who dared to say no?

Thus, the situation that followed became:

Grand Pure One Laozi, the next time he came, expressionlessly added a gourd of Nine Revolutions Golden Elixir. Primordial Lord of Heaven, with a livid face, gifted a stalk of Innate Spiritual Grass from Kunlun Mountain. Sect Master Tongtian, however, was very excited and sent another newly developed set of "Myriad Immortals Formation Flying Chess." Empress Nuwa sent a bottle of Breathing Soil. Jieyin and Zhunti cried even harder. Having nothing good to offer, they could only send a pile of Bitter Bamboo unique to the Western Regions (extremely bitter), which Xiao Kuang disdainfully threw into the zoo to feed the Kirins. Old Ancestor Kunpeng contributed a feather shed from his own wing (a material for refining artifacts). Even Gong Gong was forced to bring a gourd of Innate Spiritual Spring produced on Buzhou Mountain next time.

Xiao Kuang accepted everything, useful or not, he took it first! The back hall of the Purple Heaven Palace was soon piled high with all sorts of "tributes," like a general store.

He gloated, "Heh heh, this is the treatment a Dao Ancestor should have! I was really working for free before!"

Meanwhile, the great figures of the Primordial Era began to spread a tacit secret among themselves: when going to the Purple霄 Palace to submit thought reports, absolutely do not mention any good things you possess! Otherwise, you will definitely be "robbed"!

For a time, the great figures wrote their reports with utmost care, wishing they could encrypt the names of all precious items, for fear of being targeted by that eccentric Dao Ancestor.

The bustling scene outside the Purple Heaven Palace gradually became deserted again—everyone avoided going there unless absolutely necessary, delaying their reports as much as possible, and only reluctantly and cautiously heading there when they couldn't anymore.

Xiao Kuang was also happy to have some peace. Looking at the room full of "tributes," he was in a great mood.

"Not bad, not bad, I've generated revenue! Perhaps I should consider... charging for live broadcasts when I lecture next time?" He began to ponder even more outrageous revenue-generating plans.

And Heavenly Dao, in its slumber, seemed to dream that its Primordial Era had turned into a massive tribute site, its code twitching violently again.

Zzz...(Tributes... Merit... Corruption... Abnormal data stream detected... Unable to parse... Continue hibernation...)