The Demon's Claw Reaches for the Queen Mother of the West

In the back hall of Purple Heaven Palace, amidst a mountain of "tributes," Xiao Kuang was trying to eat Grand Pure One Laozi's Nine Revolutions Golden Elixir like candy, soak his feet in Primordial Lord of Heaven's Innate Spiritual Grass, and use Sect Master Tongtian's Immortal-Slaying Mahjong mat as a table corner, having a grand time.

Deep within his sea of consciousness, in the cold void representing the core of the Heavenly Dao, a silent storm was brewing.

The Heavenly Dao Will, after countless crashes, breakdowns, self-doubts, and forced hibernations, had finally... once again (for the Nth time), reached its limit!

It had had enough! Enough of this slacker's endless slacking, loafing, messing around, and bribery! Enough of the Primordial Era's increasingly skewed atmosphere! Enough of always having to clean up his messes, or even personally step in to fight! Enough of its core code being on the verge of overload every day!

A replacement was necessary! This thought was unprecedentedly strong and firm!

[Initiating highest priority program: Proxy Replacement Protocol!] [Scanning existing lifeforms in the Primordial Era... filtering targets that align with Heavenly Dao laws...] [Target 1: Grand Pure One Laozi of the Three Pure Ones... compatibility 85%... status: suspected of being slightly contaminated by slacking theory...] [Target 2: Nuwa... compatibility 82%... status: having strange ideas about the Dao of Creation...] [Target 3: Di Jun... compatibility 78%... status: researching paid annual leave system...] [Target 4: Jieyin... compatibility 75%... status: attempting to integrate mahjong into doctrine...] [Target 5: Houtu... compatibility 88%... status: relatively normal, but inclined to embody reincarnation... does not meet requirements for spokesperson...] [Warning: All backup targets exhibit cognitive deviations to varying degrees! Suspected to be influenced by the current proxy!] [Re-evaluating risks... replacing proxy may lead to unstable handover of Heavenly Dao authority, triggering turmoil in the Primordial Era... and the new proxy will require a long adaptation period... during which the Primordial Era may continue to spiral out of control...]

The Heavenly Dao's calculations fell into a deadlock. It discovered that under the persistent "efforts" of this slacker Xiao Kuang, the worldview of all the top powers in the Primordial Era had more or less gone askew! It couldn't find a completely "normal" and suitable replacement!

Did it really have to choose Jieyin, who always looked miserable and thought about the prosperity of the Western Regions every day? Or Di Jun, who was already contemplating giving the Demon Race paid holidays?

A chill ran through the Heavenly Dao's code.

It was unwilling! It expanded its scanning range again, even delving into some reclusive great powers and ancient existences...

However, the results were even more despairing. Some ancient existences were themselves remnants of Chaos Demon Gods, more dangerous than the slacker. Some reclusive great powers had broken Dao hearts, more "laid-back" than being laid-back. The rest either lacked the strength or had poor origins, unable to bear the Heavenly Dao Authority.

Going in circles, it terrifyingly discovered that in the current Primordial Era environment, that scoundrel, who was nonetheless of sufficient status, had a durable body, and had somehow indeed prevented the Primordial Era from completely collapsing (in a bizarre way), Xiao Kuang, had become... the optimal solution?!

[Logical error! Logical error!] [Conclusion: Risk of replacing proxy is extremely high, success rate below 0.001%, and may lead to more severe consequences!] [Recommendation: Maintain the status quo, attempt to... coexist... with the current proxy...] [Heavenly Dao: ... (falls into a silence lasting an epoch)]

Compromise. In the end, it could only compromise.

A deep, powerless, even despairing sense of compromise washed over the core of the Heavenly Dao.

It finally recognized reality—it, the supreme Heavenly Dao, had been cornered by this slacker who had popped out of a rock!

It was like a world-class company where the CEO was a good-for-nothing who only knew how to freeload and make a mess of things, yet the board of directors (Heavenly Dao) sadly found that there was no one to replace him, because all the senior executives (Primordial Era great powers) had been led astray by this CEO to varying degrees, and whoever took over might be even worse!

What else could it do but continue to tolerate this good-for-nothing?

The Heavenly Dao's light dimmed completely. This time, it wasn't hibernation, but a true, complete... acceptance of fate.

It no longer tried to understand, correct, or intervene. As long as the Primordial Era didn't explode immediately, as long as the Calamity could proceed in some way (even if it was by writing letters of repentance), it would... close its eyes and ignore it.

Whatever happens, happens.

Meanwhile, outside, Xiao Kuang, having just finished soaking his feet in Innate Spiritual Grass, gave a comfortable shiver, completely unaware of the "career crisis" he had just experienced.

He smacked his lips, feeling a bit bored. He had played with the tributes, watched the maids' singing and dancing, and petted the exotic birds and beasts in the zoo until he was tired of them.

"Alas, life lacks passion..." he sighed with feigned melancholy, looking up at the chaotic ceiling at a forty-five-degree angle.

Suddenly, his divine sense inadvertently swept over a certain immortal mountain and blessed land in the western part of the Primordial Era. He saw the Jade Pond Immortal Realm, shrouded in immortal energy, where a graceful and noble goddess with an unparalleled, cold temperament was holding an Immortal Peach, surrounded by blue birds, exuding an extraordinary aura.

"Huh?" Xiao Kuang's eyes immediately straightened, as if he had discovered a new continent. "This girl... her looks are really something! This aura, this presence! Who is she?"

He tried hard to search his meager knowledge reserves about the Primordial Era.

"The Queen Mother of the West?! Right! That's the name! The one from the Immortal Peach Banquet!"

A familiar urge, one that made the Heavenly Dao's scalp tingle (if it had a scalp), surged into Xiao Kuang's heart again.

"What a treasure... no, what a place... pfft, I mean, what a goddess!" He rubbed his hands, a standard, sly smile appearing on his face. "This Jade Pond Immortal Realm looks more comfortable than my Purple Heaven Palace! And there are peaches to eat! I heard those peaches taste good?"

"And this Queen Mother of the West, she looks like a quiet, virtuous intellectual. She'll definitely be easier to communicate with than that water monkey Gong Gong! Inviting her over for tea and a chat, to discuss life ideals, wouldn't be too much, right?"

He didn't notice that deep within his sea of consciousness, the Heavenly Dao Will, which had just chosen to lie down, flickered faintly, transmitting a trace of extremely tired, almost pleading thought: [...stop... don't cause trouble anymore... please...]

Xiao Kuang automatically blocked this insignificant interference.

"Hmm... what reason should I use to invite her?" He stroked his chin, his eyes darting around. "Inviting her directly might be too abrupt for the beauty... I've got it!"

He slapped his thigh. "Just say... just say that this seat intends to host the 'First Primordial Era Arts and Performance Awards Ceremony,' and specially invites fellow Daoist Queen Mother of the West to serve as the award presenter! Yes! This reason is grand and elegant!"

No sooner said than done!

He immediately mobilized that authority which made the Heavenly Dao despair, preparing to once again exercise the power of "Primordial Era's Strongest Kidnapping."

"Heavenly Dao Authority! Spatial Positioning! Target: Queen Mother of the West! Generate Forced Invitation Letter! Reason: Arts and Performance Awards... uh, wait!"

He suddenly stopped and scratched his head. "Awards ceremony... can't just have guests without awardees, right? Need program performances? Need to set up the venue? Too troublesome..."

His ingrained laziness kicked in.

"Forget it, forget it," he immediately abandoned the idea. "Too much trouble, better to be direct."

He cleared his throat, put on a (self-proclaimed) amiable face, and his divine sense locked onto the Jade Pond Immortal Realm again. A thought was directly transmitted:

"Ahem... Fellow Daoist Queen Mother of the West of the Jade Pond, is it? This seat is Xiao Kuang of Purple霄 Palace. I heard that the Immortal Peaches at your place are very delicious. This seat has been lacking an appetite lately and would like to beg for a few to try. I wonder if fellow Daoist could... personally send some over?"

The tone was utterly presumptuous.

In the Jade Pond Immortal Realm, the Queen Mother of the West, who was admiring flowers, suddenly froze. Her exquisite face showed astonishment and disbelief.

Dao Ancestor of the Purple Firmament Palace? Asking for Immortal Peaches personally? And asking me to deliver them personally?

This... what kind of absurd and disrespectful request is this?!

However, the name of the Dao Ancestor, the might of the Heavenly Dao, and the various outrageous rumors about this Dao Ancestor that had recently circulated in the Primordial Era... made her dare not refuse lightly.

The Queen Mother of the West fell into deep conflict and unease.

Inside Purple Heaven Palace, after sending the invitation, Xiao Kuang happily lay back in his massage chair, with his feet up, waiting.

"Hehe, when the peaches arrive, we can chat about life, and maybe then... hehehe..." He seemed to already see a beautiful (lustful) future.

In his sea of consciousness, the last trace of light from the Heavenly Dao flickered out with a snap.

Tired. Let it be destroyed. Hurry up.