To Xiao Kuang's surprise, Queen Mother of the West did not keep him waiting long.
Several days later, the studded gates were knocked on again. Outside stood Queen Mother of the West, elegant and regal, her temperament cool and detached, though a faint, barely noticeable unease showed on her face. Behind her followed several immortals in green robes, carrying jade trays piled with large, plump peaches that radiated Innate Yi Wood essence and dense immortal light.
"Queen Mother of the West, by the Dao Ancestor's decree, has come to present peaches," she said. Her voice was as crisp and pleasant as pearls falling onto a jade plate, yet it carried a hint of restraint.
Xiao Kuang's eyes lit up. He immediately sprang from his massage chair and personally went to welcome her—mainly the peaches. "Oh my, Fellow Daoist Queen Mother of the West, you're far too courteous! Please, come in! You came, and you even brought so many gifts. You really shouldn't have!"
As he spoke, he unceremoniously picked up the largest peach and took a huge bite. Juice splashed everywhere, and immortal energy surged forth.
"Mmm! Sweet! Crisp! Juicy! Just what I'd expect from a premium brand!" He smacked his lips as he ate, utterly without dignity.
Queen Mother of the West watched this supposedly unfathomable Dao Ancestor behave like this and did not know how to react. She could only nod slightly. "It is good that the Dao Ancestor enjoys them."
Xiao Kuang made quick work of the peach, then licked his fingers with lingering satisfaction. Only then did his gaze truly settle on Queen Mother of the West herself. He looked her up and down, growing more pleased the longer he looked.
"Tsk, tsk. Fellow Daoist, not only do you grow excellent peaches, but you yourself are also... well, blessed by the spirits and favored by creation!" He stroked his chin, his eyes gleaming slyly.
Queen Mother of the West felt uncomfortable under his gaze and turned slightly sideways. "The Dao Ancestor flatters me. If there is nothing else, may this junior take her leave?" She did not want to stay in this bizarre Purple Cloud Palace for a moment longer.
"Hey! Don't rush off!" Xiao Kuang quickly stopped her. His head heated up, and the crooked idea that had lingered in his mind for so long blurted out. "I happen to have a brilliant idea that I would like to discuss with Fellow Daoist!"
Alarm bells rang in Queen Mother of the West's heart. She forced herself to ask, "I wonder... what idea does the Dao Ancestor have?"
"I intend to hold the 'Primordial Chaos First Immortal Maiden Beauty Pageant'!" Xiao Kuang declared excitedly with a grand wave of his hand. "The purpose is to discover the beauty of the Primordial Chaos and raise the confidence and influence of our immortal maiden friends! With your bearing, appearance, and status, Fellow Daoist, you would absolutely be a strong contender for the championship! Maybe there would not even be a need to compete—you could simply be chosen in advance... ahem, I mean, it would be the will of the people!"
"A... beauty pageant?" Queen Mother of the West was completely dumbfounded. Her breathtaking face was filled with shock and absurdity. "How... how could this be proper? How could this junior possibly participate in something so... so frivolous?" Her upbringing kept her from saying "ridiculous," but her eyes conveyed it clearly enough.
"Frivolous? How is this frivolous?" Xiao Kuang argued with a straight face. "Beauty is also a manifestation of the Great Dao! What is wrong with pursuing beauty and appreciating beauty? This is an important part of improving the spiritual civilization of the Primordial Chaos!"
Queen Mother of the West: "..." She felt as if even her Dao heart were trembling.
Seeing Queen Mother of the West wear an expression that said, "Push me any further and I'll die right in front of you," Xiao Kuang knew he could not rush this. He could only temporarily give up on dragging her into it, chatted—or rather, spouted nonsense—for a few more sentences, and finally let the immensely relieved Queen Mother of the West leave.
After seeing Queen Mother of the West off, Xiao Kuang became even more enthusiastic about the beauty pageant. He thought the idea was sheer genius! He could openly admire beautiful women while also stirring up some excitement. It perfectly suited his philosophy of slacking off for entertainment.
But he was a little uncertain about pulling this off alone, so he hurried off to find his "advisers"—Xi He and Chang Xi.
"You two lovely ladies, do me a favor and give me some advice!" He leaned close to the two Lunar Goddesses, who were being forced to trim potted plants, and enthusiastically explained his beauty pageant plan from start to finish.
After hearing him out, Xi He and Chang Xi stared at him expressionlessly, as though they were looking at unrecyclable Chaos trash.
After a long while, Xi He finally spat out coldly, "Does the Dao Ancestor think Purple Cloud Palace is too quiet and wish to provoke the resentment of every female immortal in the Primordial Chaos?"
Chang Xi's tongue was even sharper. "Heh. Resentment would be putting it mildly. If our master—she meant the former Moon Goddess Wangshu, from whom Chang Xi and Xi He had split—were still here, she would probably be the first to smash your head open with a moon wheel."
Xiao Kuang gave an awkward smile after being roasted, but he still refused to give up. "Come on, don't be so serious! It's just an event to liven things up! Besides, I'm not asking them to come for nothing! There will definitely be rewards!"
"Rewards?" Xi He sneered, her beautiful eyes full of mockery. "What rewards could you possibly offer? That burnt Chaos chicken of yours? Or that Innate Spiritual Spring you soaked your feet in?" They knew Xiao Kuang's assets inside out.
Xiao Kuang nearly choked. Stiffening his neck, he said, "Who are you looking down on? I am the Dao Ancestor, after all! Would my generosity be so stingy?"
Chang Xi rolled her eyes. "Oh? Then what rewards can the mighty Dao Ancestor offer that would make the countless proud female immortals of the Primordial Chaos participate in your... inexplicable 'beauty pageant'?"
"Exactly! Exactly!" Xiao Kuang instinctively agreed, then froze. Right, what could he use as prizes and appearance fees? His pile of "tributes" was not bad, but it did not seem tempting enough to make every female immortal cast aside her reserve...
He frowned in thought and unconsciously connected to his Heavenly Dao Authority, intending to see what else he had in stock.
As his divine sense swept through that vast authority, something caught his attention—a boundless golden ocean that contained endless creation and opportunities... Heavenly Dao Merit!
There seemed to be a lot of this stuff. And it looked quite pretty too, all golden and shiny. Girls should like it, right?
His eyes instantly lit up, and he slapped his thigh. "I've got it! I'll put up Heavenly Dao Merit! Every contestant gets a participation prize! The higher the ranking, the more merit they receive! The champion gets a huge lump of it directly! Is that grand enough?!"
"He... Heavenly Dao Merit?!"
Xi He and Chang Xi, who had been filled with mockery and helplessness, instantly went pale at those four words. They were so shocked that they nearly jumped up.
That was Heavenly Dao Merit! The hardest currency in the Primordial Chaos! A supreme treasure that no amount of gold could buy! Add a trace of it to artifact refinement, and it could create an Acquired Merit Spirit Treasure, allowing one to kill without incurring karma! Absorb a wisp during cultivation, and it could break bottlenecks, avert disasters, resolve difficulties, and improve one's innate foundation! To the living beings of the Primordial Chaos, its allure surpassed even Innate Spirit Treasures!
What cultivator did not dream of Heavenly Dao Merit? How many great powers had fought until their heads bled over a mere trace of merit?
And now, this bastard, this salted-fish Dao Ancestor, was actually saying that he would use Heavenly Dao Merit... as prizes for a beauty pageant?! And hand it out in bulk?!
It was as absurd as using the Imperial Jade Seal to crack walnuts, using the He Shi Bi as a table leg prop, or bathing in the Nine Heavens Milky Way! Even "wasteful beyond measure" could not begin to describe it!
Xi He pointed at Xiao Kuang, her finger trembling. "You... you... do you know how precious Heavenly Dao Merit is?! How can it... how can it be used for something so frivolous?!"
Chang Xi's pretty face flushed red with anger as well. "Xiao Kuang! You are simply... simply the biggest wastrel in the Primordial Chaos! If the Heavenly Dao knew, it would surely... surely..." She was so angry that she did not even know how to curse him.
Xiao Kuang was startled by their reaction. He shrank his neck and muttered softly, "Is it really that precious? I saw there was still plenty in the warehouse... It would just gather dust sitting there. Better to use it for an event and promote currency circulation in the Primordial Chaos..."
"Still plenty?!" Xi He and Chang Xi nearly fainted.
They looked at Xiao Kuang's indifferent expression, as though it were just some golden dye, then thought of the hardships the two sisters had endured in the past just to gather that tiny amount of merit for the Taiyin Star...
A profound sense of helplessness and grief, along with the indignant feeling that the Heavenly Dao was outrageously unfair, rose in their hearts.
Where was justice?! Where was the bottom line of the Heavenly Dao's impartiality?! Had it really been eaten by this salted fish?!
Xi He took several deep breaths before barely suppressing the urge to strangle Xiao Kuang. She squeezed out through clenched teeth, "If... if you truly dare to act so recklessly... the Primordial Chaos... the Primordial Chaos may truly descend into complete chaos..."
Using Heavenly Dao Merit for a beauty pageant? They did not even dare imagine the terrifying spectacle of demons dancing wildly and hundreds of immortals competing in "beauty" that would result!
Xiao Kuang scratched his head as he watched them look as if they were about to suffer heart attacks. "Huh? Would it really turn into chaos? I think it's great... Forget it, forget it. You women are such a hassle, always with so many opinions. Whatever. I think this idea is fantastic! I'm going to issue the notice right now!"
He ran off excitedly, preparing to use his Heavenly Dao Authority once more to issue this earth-shattering beauty pageant announcement to every female immortal in the Primordial Chaos.
Xi He and Chang Xi remained where they were, staring at each other. In each other's eyes, they saw endless despair and confusion.
They could practically see it already: countless female immortals, usually aloof and noble, casting aside their dignity for Heavenly Dao Merit, competing to outshine one another, perhaps even coming to blows...
The integrity of the Primordial Chaos was about to shatter all over the ground along with that bulk-distributed merit.
And the Heavenly Dao... seemed not to have the strength left even to twitch. Deep within its core, there remained only a dead silence, a world-weary... despair.
Before you continue