Adult Products

The next day.

Jingtai Square, thirteenth floor.

At eight o'clock sharp, Su Bai arrived outside room 807. He looked up at the sign hanging over his head, its seven Chinese characters picked out in gold, clenched his fists, and took a deep breath.

Adult products specialty store???

Knock, knock-

He knocked politely, but no one answered.

Knock, knock-

He knocked again. Still no answer.

Su Bai pressed his ear against the door and heard the faint sound of snoring.

After hesitating for a moment, Su Bai steeled himself and pushed the door open. A familiar, slender figure came into view.

Qingxue was sprawled across the reception desk, fast asleep, her little head propped against the computer screen. A glistening thread of drool hung from the corner of her mouth, and she was mumbling who knew what in her sleep. She wore orange Pikachu pajamas and Bugs Bunny ears on her head. He had to admit, she looked pretty cute.

Su Bai walked over to the desk and tugged on Qingxue's Bugs Bunny ears. "Wake up. Time to see a customer."

Qingxue's eyelashes fluttered. She looked at Su Bai, her gaze a little dazed, then turned her head the other way, buried it in her arms, and went right back to sleep.

"..."

Clearly, she wasn't fully awake yet.

Su Bai looked around. His gaze lingered on the double doors to his right for a moment before he pushed them open and entered.

Creak-

"Mid lane, the minion wave in mid! Gu Jiuge, do you fucking know how to play a mage? The minions are right on top of our crystal! Get back and defend the base, fuck!"

"Can't you see I'm fighting a monster? I'm busy!"

"Monster my ass! That's the fucking Baron, the Baron! You actually dared to solo Baron at ten minutes? You're really something."

"Li Ming, your hands are shaking like a little electric motor, and you've got the nerve to lecture me? You played an assassin and fed them fifteen kills in ten minutes. I don't even want to talk about you. If you hadn't fed them so many, I'd have slaughtered my way through the whole enemy team by now... fuck? How'd this monster kill me?!"

DEFEAT!

The long strains of game music echoed through the cramped office.

Gu Jiuge and Li Ming's faces were livid as they glared at each other, looking ready to come to blows at the slightest disagreement.

Su Bai watched the scene expressionlessly. "Chu Ning told me to report here today. Could you tell me... how do I get to Jialidun University?"

Gu Jiuge walked out to the porch of room 807 and flipped the overhead sign that read "adult products specialty store," revealing the five Chinese characters for "Jialidun University."

Su Bai realized he had been wrong.

He had thought his impression of the Grave Keepers was already outrageous enough. He hadn't expected to find he was still too young.

"Welcome to Jialidun University."

Gu Jiuge opened his arms to Su Bai with a look of tender affection, like an old mother about to embrace her child.

Beside him, Li Ming struggled to hold back his laughter, his body twitching.

Qingxue stood nearby, rubbing her sleepy eyes. She yawned and clapped at the same time. "Welcome, welcome, a warm welcome."

Halfhearted. It was really halfhearted.

Li Ming kicked Gu Jiuge in the backside and asked, "Why is Chu Ning absent on such a solemn and momentous occasion?"

What the fuck is solemn and momentous about this?

Gu Jiuge shrugged. "Lin Luo's back from Tianjing. Section Seven chartered him a private plane. It lands at the private airport in the suburbs at ten. That crazy girl probably went to pick him up."

Su Bai's gaze lingered on each of the three in turn. He took the documents he had signed yesterday from inside his clothes and handed them to Gu Jiuge, whose arms were still outstretched. "I read this contract carefully. A four-year term, eight to five, one rotating day off a week, and a monthly salary of 5,000. I think the benefits and conditions are all pretty good. If there are no problems, I'd like to start work today."

"Five thousand?"

Gu Jiuge froze, took the contract, and flipped through a few pages. He turned to Qingxue with a frown. "We risk our lives doing this work, and headquarters gives us a pretty generous budget. If I remember right, even an intern's pay shouldn't be this low, should it?"

Qingxue blinked, an innocent look on her face, and timidly raised her hand. "It should be fifty thousand. I think I left a zero out when I printed the contract... should I go fix it?"

Gu Jiuge handed the documents to Li Ming and said breezily, "Forget it. It wasn't easy getting this kid to come here. He's already signed it, and changing it back and forth is a hassle. Let's leave it like this. If he needs money, he can just get some from finance."

Li Ming asked, puzzled, "Old Gu, I don't think we have a finance position on our team, do we?"

"We don't?" Gu Jiuge pinched his chin and thought seriously for several dozen seconds, then looked at Qingxue. "How about this? From now on, besides working reception, cleaning, hospitality, driving, and making coffee, you can handle finance too."

Qingxue nodded obediently. "Okay."

Su Bai stared, his eyes wide.

Fuck, could you be any more careless?

The fragrance of tea filled the office.

Gu Jiuge poured Su Bai a cup of hot tea. "From now on, you're an intern Grave Keeper in Suzhou. Once your four-year internship is over, if you choose to leave, no one will stop you. If you choose to stay, headquarters in Tianjing will give you an official post. Until then, you don't need to take any assignments from headquarters. You only need to carry out my orders and Captain Li's... If you still have any questions about the supernatural realm, there's no need to keep them to yourself. Just ask me or Captain Li."

Li Ming nodded. "If neither of us can answer your question, you can ask Lin Luo. He'll be back this afternoon. That kid has more ink in his belly than the two of us put together."

"Lin Luo?"

"Our teammate. He manages the warehouse. You'll find out this afternoon."

Su Bai pointed outside the door. "I had a bellyful of questions to ask, but now there's only one question on my mind. What the hell is with the adult products specialty store?"

Li Ming's expression turned strange. "Old Gu, you didn't tell him?"

Gu Jiuge shook his head. "If I'd told him, I was afraid he wouldn't dare come."

"All right." Li Ming stood up, pulled a black lump of iron with a metallic sheen from behind his waist, and tossed it into Su Bai's arms.

Su Bai caught it, took a close look, and sucked in a breath of cold air.

What he held was unmistakably a field pistol, shaped like the Chinese character "厂."

Its casing was pitch-black and cold, its straight, hard body following the curve of his fingers all the way to the grip. Irregular flame and lotus designs were stamped on it, and the muzzle was dark purple.

He could imagine how beautiful it must be at the instant a bullet burst from the barrel: a tremendous sonic boom accompanied by fiery red and dark purple interwoven.

"It's 152.4 millimeters long and weighs 2.58 kilograms. It uses specially made heavy 12.7-millimeter rounds and enchanted bullets, with a capacity of nine rounds. Within thirty meters, it can tear through five centimeters of steel plate and twenty centimeters of wall. Within a hundred meters, it can penetrate any military body armor. There's no trick to using it. Aim at the enemy's head, then pull the trigger."

Clatter.

Li Ming pulled out a large handful of bullets with silver-white accents and scattered them across the table. He sat down and continued, "I hear you're already eighteen?"

Su Bai nodded woodenly.

Li Ming leaned forward slightly. "Consider this a gift for our first meeting."

Gu Jiuge added, "An adult product. No problem with that, right?"

Su Bai silently put away the pistol and bullets, his palms ice-cold.

No problem. No problem at all.