It Wasn't Me Who Ruined You! It Was These Troubled Times!

Cicadas chirped noisily in the trees, while birds sang and played in the woods. It was another ordinary, peaceful afternoon.

Aemeath had started streaming with the new equipment that afternoon. Xiao Ling had dropped by the stream for a look, and it looked quite good. It seemed the money hadn't gone to waste.

Sigrika was watching birds in the backyard. Xiao Ling figured he might have to call her when the time came, or she could miss mealtime altogether.

After helping Xiao Ling clear away and clean the dishes, Chisa had gone back to her room. She was probably reading in there.

Lynae had gone out again. That was no surprise; she was the sort who couldn't sit still, and she usually went out for a drive whenever she had time.

As for Dania? He didn't even have to think about it to know she was curled up in her room, sleeping in.

All in all, after everything that had happened over the past few days, Xiao Ling had finally gotten a relatively peaceful afternoon.

The police had just updated him about the attack at the convention. The evidence was conclusive and the assailant's malicious intent was clear, so they had given him a harsher punishment. They had also praised Xiao Ling for his bravery and wanted an opportunity to thank him in person.

Xiao Ling had naturally declined. After all, he had only stepped in to protect Dania, so he felt a little unworthy of being praised for bravery.

"So bored... Maybe I should play a game?"

With that thought, Xiao Ling took out his phone, intending to play an exciting round of Honor of Kings. Suddenly, a call came in.

Xiao Ling checked the contact name, and his apprehension finally settled.

Principal Roccia had warned him that his counselor would come after him, but did it have to be the day before he returned to school...?

He figured that if he chose not to answer now, Brother Yang might not settle for a verbal greeting over the phone later, but challenge him to a real man's one-on-one in person.

After all, he had gone too far this time, making Brother Yang's eligibility for this year's year-end excellence award sprout wings and fly away.

"Hello, Brother Yang. What can I do for you?" Xiao Ling answered the phone quite respectfully.

"Xiao Ling, you bastard! You really deserve to die!" Brother Yang was furious. "I was just about to be named an outstanding teacher for the tenth year in a row, and then you pull this on me? Can we still be friends?!"

"Brother Yang, let me make excuses... I mean, explain..."

"Explain my ass! I thought you really had something going on, but you fucking went on a date with some pink-haired girl and took half a month off in one go. You had it great, living it up with a beauty in your arms. And me? I got chewed out by the higher-ups, and now you actually want me to listen to your explanation?"

"What do you mean, I went on a date with a girl? Brother Yang, you can't just believe whatever people say!" Xiao Ling said righteously.

"That girl's a distant cousin of mine. She had a really hard life back home; not only was she unwelcome, but people used her as a tool. So she crossed the ocean to come stay with me. I couldn't just leave her alone at home without teaching her anything, could I? How irresponsible would that be?"

"You're fucking full of it! The way that girl looks at you, you can practically see the heartstrings between you, and you're telling me she's your relative? What do you think this is, Yosuga no Sora? What next, you keep looking after her until it turns into the Battle of the Genkan?"

"You sure know a lot, Brother Yang. You even know that meme."

"I was already into anime when you were still fucking playing in the mud!"

"Really, Brother Yang, I didn't want to lie to you either. It just happened so suddenly that I was at a loss, so I could only tell a lie."

The school had an established process for approving leave: not only did students need a sufficient reason, but they also needed documentation to prove it.

As he'd said before, if Xiao Ling really dared to ask for leave because his 2D wife had become a real person, he'd be hauled off to a psychiatric hospital the next second.

"So, Brother Yang, it wasn't me who ruined you! It was these troubled times!!!!"

"Fuck your dam! If I hear one more meme from the new Three Kingdoms, I'll deafen myself!"

(Deaf? But deafness is the mark of an emperor! .jpg)

After a bout of rage, Brother Yang finally sighed helplessly and said earnestly, "I know you're still young and can do impulsive things for love. I've taught at this school for over a decade, and I've seen hundreds, if not a thousand, cases like this. Every year, someone lets romance get in the way of their future. Your grades are good, and honestly, I don't really want to see your future poisoned by romance too."

"I think you'd be better off worrying about your eligibility for the excellence award, Brother Yang."

"Fuck your mother!" Brother Yang instantly lost his composure.

"All right, Brother Yang, I'll be back tomorrow. You don't have to worry about me taking more leave," Xiao Ling assured him.

"Even if you wanted more leave, I wouldn't approve it!" Brother Yang said through gritted teeth. "Approving your leave cost me my eligibility for the excellence award..."

"Since you're coming back, write me a 1,500-character self-criticism before you return, and we'll put this behind us. Oh, and no AI! Otherwise, the length doubles."

"Come on, you can't do that! Brother Yang, have a conscience!"

"Where was your conscience when you lied to me to get leave? No negotiation. If I don't see your self-criticism tomorrow, you can look forward to failing my class at the end of the semester!"

The call ended.

Xiao Ling rubbed his face in frustration. He really didn't want to write a self-criticism... And 1,500 characters, too. He might as well just kill him.

Roccia then received a message from Xiao Ling.

Roccia was drinking tea and watching a movie in her office. When she heard the notification on her phone, she unlocked it to check.

Xiao Ling: Principal~

Xiao Ling: My counselor's bullying me. He's making me write a self-criticism. You have to stand up for me~

Xiao Ling: [crying].jpg

Roccia: [animated sticker] question mark

Roccia: Isn't that a good thing?

Roccia: I think it's about time you reflected on taking leave to date, too. If I were your counselor, I'd do the same.

Roccia: Good luck, young man. This is a crucial step toward restoring your image. Your principal has faith in you.

After failing to get Roccia's support, Xiao Ling could only resign himself to writing the 1,500-character self-criticism.

But no sooner had one round of questioning ended than another followed on its heels.

The second call came from Xiao Ling's best bro.

"Hey, Old Ye, what's up?" Xiao Ling spoke more casually to his bro.

"Fuck your mother, Xiao Ling, you son of a bitch! What happened to being each other's angels?!" Ye Qing opened with a string of curses. "We clearly swore we'd be single dogs for life, and whoever got a girlfriend first would be the other's son. And now you're telling your dad you got a girlfriend?! Five of them at once, no fucking less?!"

There was no doubt about it: Ye Qing was Ye Xue's older brother, and the other person Xiao Ling had saved back then.

"See? You're getting worked up again. What did I tell you?" Xiao Ling said calmly. "Don't believe every rumor you hear. You'd rather trust gossip than your own brother. Can we still be friends?"

"Keep pretending! When we were gaming last week, I was wondering why I suddenly heard a girl's voice through your mic halfway through," Ye Qing said indignantly. "Then you said a few words to me and logged straight off without giving me a chance. I thought she was your sister or something, but I only just remembered recently that you're a fucking only child, aren't you?!"

"I remember telling you I was an only child before, but you didn't remember right away?" Xiao Ling said with a pained expression. "Ah~ The bond's faded, our bond has faded-"

"Damn it, quit fooling around!" Ye Qing was even more exasperated with him. "Your 'reputation' has spread all over school. Everyone's saying you're a top-tier playboy. You're really something, getting five girls to fucking live peacefully under one roof."

"That's called forming alliances, baby," Xiao Ling said proudly. "Want to learn? I can teach you."

"Don't be Jiah Hao," Ye Qing said irritably. "So what's the truth?"

"If I really tell you, don't curse me out."

"I'll curse you out if you don't."

"666." Xiao Ling speechlessly typed three sixes in a row, then said seriously, "Actually, they came over from Solaris."

"..."

Hearing nothing from the other end of the call, Xiao Ling wondered if Ye Qing had been so shocked that he'd hung up.

"Have you been reading too many novels on Tomato?"

Well, he'd known Ye Qing wouldn't believe him.

"Yeah, yeah, I've been reading too many webnovels, and I'm sexually frustrated," Xiao Ling said irritably.

"Cut it out. I don't know what's going on over there, but I'm not going to press you on it. Since those girls were blind enough to fall for you, you'd better treat them well. If you let them down, I'll come over and deal with you myself!"

"Can you beat me?"

"I'll fight you even if I can't! All right, that's it. I'm hanging up!"

Ye Qing's words were harsh, but he had always hoped Xiao Ling would find a good girl.

Instead, Xiao Ling never went out and devoted himself entirely to those 2D characters, which made Ye Qing somewhat exasperated with him.

But since he had actually found girls he liked, that was good.

It was just that when Xiao Ling returned to school tomorrow, Ye Qing was definitely going to give him a beating. Nothing more to it; he was simply annoyed.