Hunter x Hunter: Me, the Bald Guy Who One-Shots Ants
Chapter 6

The Real Examiner and the Impostor

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Leorio's body went rigid, but Kurapika grabbed him and pulled him back.

Satotz kept walking without reacting.

"It's an Imitation Bird," Kurapika said quietly. "Don't go over there."

Gon bent down, picked up a stone, and threw it toward the voice.

"Squawk!" A huge bird burst into the air, its wings beating wildly. A woman's cries for help still came from its beak, fading as it flew away.

Leorio went limp. "It really was a bird..."

Gon brushed the dirt from his hands. "The sound came from the wrong direction. If it had been a real person, it would've come from the ground."

Killua whistled. "Not bad, spiky hair."

Screams began to rise from the thick fog.

One. Then another. Then the sound of something heavy hitting the ground.

The applicants looked around uneasily. No one could see what was happening, but the screams were getting closer. Satotz kept walking, the sound of his wooden clogs never changing.

A voice came from the fog. Low, hoarse, and amused.

"Fail. Next."

Another scream rang out.

Killua clicked his tongue. "That guy's playing examiner. He thinks the test is too boring, so he's deciding who fails for himself."

The screams came faster and faster. Applicants began to flee—some left, some right, while others crouched on the ground and shook. Shadows darted through the fog like frightened animals.

Sweat covered Leorio's forehead. "How many people... has that guy killed?"

Gon clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. Kurapika had gone pale, but his steps stayed steady. Tonpa shrank to the edge of the group, the smile completely gone from his face.

An Imitation Bird dove from a dead tree. It tucked in its wings and aimed its beak at the back of Saitama's head.

Saitama didn't turn around.

About half a meter above his head, the Imitation Bird suddenly slammed on the brakes. Its wings snapped open, and it stopped in midair as if it had hit an invisible wall. It gave a short, strange cry, veered away, and flapped off as fast as it could.

Saitama kept walking as if nothing had happened.

In the thick fog, an applicant fled blindly and ran straight toward Hisoka.

Hisoka stepped aside. A playing card spun between his fingers.

The applicant fell to the ground. He looked up, saw Hisoka's face, and froze.

Hisoka looked down at him and tilted his head.

"You were trembling just now."

The applicant opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

Hisoka smiled. "Fail."

The card fell. The applicant collapsed.

Hisoka walked on. There were few applicants left running through the fog.

His gaze swept over the figures still moving ahead—the spiky-haired kid, the silver-haired kid, the blond one, and the one wearing sunglasses.

And a bald man.

Saitama was walking at the back of the group. In the fog, he sensed someone blocking his way.

He stopped.

Hisoka stood two steps away, holding a playing card. The star and teardrop painted on his face stood out sharply in the fog.

He stared at Saitama, looking him up and down.

Saitama looked back at him.

This guy had stared at him on the ship, too. Back then, Hisoka had slipped a hand into his pocket and gripped a playing card so tightly his knuckles turned white. Now he was standing right in his way.

What are you looking at?

But this guy seemed to be an important character. The big man on the ship had been one thing. This was different—Saitama remembered that Hisoka had a lot more scenes later in the anime. Would killing him mess up the plot?

Forget it.

"Need something?" Saitama asked.

Hisoka was silent for a moment. There was nothing about this man that made him worth killing—no fighting spirit, no fear, no thirst for battle. Not even Nen. He was like a stone.

A bald man in a discount T-shirt from the supermarket, with a gray spot on it. Not a Nen user, not a battle maniac, not prey. Not even a decent toy.

But...

That Imitation Bird had dived straight at him, then veered away in midair.

Hisoka had seen it.

He hadn't been mistaken.

This man...

Forget it. Not worth it. Killing him would be boring.

Hisoka stepped aside.

Saitama walked past him, his pace unhurried, as though he were out for a stroll.

Hisoka watched him go. He spun the card once and put it back in his pocket.

Then he suddenly wanted another look. Hisoka turned back toward Saitama.

The bald man was walking away at the same unhurried pace. Just like someone out for a stroll.

He really did look like an ordinary person.

No.

Something's wrong.

An ordinary person wouldn't make an Imitation Bird fly away. An ordinary person wouldn't walk through thick fog without the slightest change in his breathing. An ordinary person wouldn't make him—Hisoka—decide that killing him would be too boring.

There was definitely something strange about this man. Hisoka just couldn't tell what it was.

The feeling irritated him a little. But that was fine. If this guy really was interesting, they would meet again sooner or later. He could kill him then.

Hisoka turned and resumed his examiner game. There were still a few failing applicants left in the fog.

Saitama, meanwhile, had no idea a creep had taken an interest in him. He was wondering whether this wetland had a supermarket.

He had been walking for ages and was getting thirsty. He wanted canned juice—not the kind Tonpa had tampered with. Just ordinary juice. Grape would be best.

Forget it. As if there'd be one here. I'll follow Gon for now and worry about it when we get out.

After Saitama had gone, another figure appeared in the fog.

He wore the same black suit as Satotz and had the same build and gait. He hurried in front of a group of applicants and blocked their way.

"Stop! I'm the real examiner! The man ahead of you is a Man-faced Ape in disguise. It's leading you to a Magic Beast's nest so you can be eaten!"

The applicants stopped and looked at one another.

Gon frowned. "What?!" Leorio blurted. Kurapika calmly studied the two "Satotzes"—one leading the way ahead, the other blocking their path.

"Don't trust it!" the false examiner shouted. "Follow me. I know a safe route—"

He turned and headed in another direction. A few applicants hesitated, then prepared to follow.

A playing card flew out of the fog.

It struck the back of the false examiner's neck with perfect precision.

The false examiner stopped. His body swayed, then fell to the ground.

Hisoka emerged from the fog, two more cards in his hand.

He looked at the fallen false examiner. "The real examiner wouldn't stop here to talk to you."

The "Satotz" on the ground began to change. His face twisted, fur sprouted, and his mouth pushed forward. A Man-faced Ape. It struggled to flee.

A second card flew over and lodged in the back of its head.

The Man-faced Ape stopped moving.

Hisoka put away his remaining card and glanced at the applicants around him.

"Keep running."

He turned and disappeared into the fog.

Satotz kept walking. Not once had he looked back.

The fog began to thin. First they could see figures five meters away, then ten, then twenty. As if something were drawing it away, the fog rapidly dispersed.

A clearing appeared ahead. At its far end stood an enormous iron gate bearing a wooden sign: Visca Forest Park.

The applicants emerged from the fog one after another. There were nearly half as many as there had been before they entered the wetlands.

Satotz stopped and turned around.

"We've arrived. The first test is over."

He stopped his timer.

"Those who pass through this gate will proceed to the second test."

With that, he stood beside the gate and said no more.

The iron gate slowly opened. Beyond it lay a vast forest park, with towering trees and sunlight streaming through their branches. It was a world away from the gloom of the wetlands.

Two examiners stood at the entrance. A man and a woman.

The woman stood with her arms crossed, frowning as she surveyed the crowd. Menchi.

The man stood there with his enormous belly, like a wall of flesh. Buhara.

Menchi spoke, irritation in her voice. "The second test is—cooking."

End of Chapter
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