Catching Pigs

Buhara's stomach let out a thunderous rumble.

The entire examination site heard it. Before the examinees could react, he scratched his head and gave an honest smile. "I haven't eaten anything since this morning."

Satotz rubbed his forehead in the distance.

Menchi crossed her arms, the corners of her mouth turning down as she said irritably, "The second test is—cooking."

Buhara stepped forward and licked his lips. "The assignment is roasted whole pig. The ingredients are being raised in Visca Forest Park: magical beasts called Great-Nosed Wild Boars. Use the cooking utensils on site to make one for me. Once I'm full, you pass."

One examinee raised a hand. "What are the judging criteria?"

Buhara smiled innocently. "As long as it tastes good."

Menchi rolled her eyes beside him. "He says anything with meat tastes good."

The examinees looked at one another. Then they all charged toward the forest.

Satotz remained where he was, watching the crowd flood into the forest as he started the timer. His wooden clogs clicked once, then stopped. He turned toward the corner of the examination site—one examinee still had not moved. Saitama. He had his head down, picking at a speck of dirt on his T-shirt sleeve with two fingers.

"...Aren't you going?" Satotz asked.

Saitama looked up, saw the examiner watching him, then lowered his eyes to the speck on his sleeve.

"In a minute. This won't come off."

Satotz fell silent for a few seconds, then turned and left. The sound of his clogs gradually faded away.

Saitama picked at it a few more times before giving up. He looked up. From the direction of the forest came overlapping pig squeals and shouts.

"Forget it. I'll catch a pig first." He shook his hand and walked toward the forest.

The forest was a complete mess.

Several examinees had been chased up trees by Great-Nosed Wild Boars, their legs still trembling. One short examinee shouted through the shaking, "This pig is fiercer than the cows back home!" Below the tree, a boar rammed its snout into the trunk with booming impacts. Within moments, a huge crack split the trunk.

Gon kicked off the tree trunk and flipped backward, landing steadily on the boar's back. He clamped its belly tightly between his legs and gripped its bristles with both hands. The boar began bucking wildly, smashing through shrubs as thick as bowls nearby. Gon's whole body was jolted up and down, but his grip did not loosen in the slightest. He drove his knee into the weak point on the boar's forehead and pressed down hard. The boar's head was forced into the ground, its snorts growing more and more muffled until it finally stopped moving.

He looked up just in time to see Leorio being chased around a tree by a Great-Nosed Wild Boar. Leorio's face was covered in mud, and his sunglasses sat crookedly on his forehead.

"Leorio! Its weak point is its forehead!" Gon shouted, pointing at the center of his own brow. "That huge nose grew to protect its forehead! When it charges, dodge to the side, then grab its head from the side and force it down!"

As Leorio circled the tree for the third time, he heard Gon's shout and cursed over his shoulder as he ran. "E-easier said than done! This damn pig won't even give me a chance to turn—aaah, here it comes again!"

The boar charged at him once more. Leorio shut his eyes and gritted his teeth, throwing his entire body to the left. He nearly rolled right past the boar's tusks, his back slamming into the tree trunk. The boar could not turn in time and smashed its snout into the tree. The whole tree shook violently. The boar shook its head, dazed—and in that instant, Leorio lunged at it from the side. He locked his elbow tightly around its forehead and hung from its body. The boar bucked desperately, but he refused to let go.

"You make it sound easy—but this actually works!" he shouted at Gon through gritted teeth.

Gon sat astride his own boar and flashed a wide grin. "See?"

After being thrown seven or eight times, the boar finally tired out and collapsed on the ground, panting heavily. Leorio collapsed beside it, too. His sunglasses had fallen into the mud, and his arms were still shaking. Yet he continued muttering, "I—I'm still a Hunter—"

A laugh came from the tree. Killua sat on a branch, swinging his legs with half a chocolate bar in hand. He glanced at Leorio sprawled on the ground, gasping for breath, then at the boar still snorting nearby. He popped the chocolate into his mouth and jumped straight down from the tree, landing firmly on the boar's back. Before it could react, a kunai was pressed against the weak point on its forehead.

He wiped off the kunai, continued eating his chocolate, and gave Leorio a sidelong glance.

"Still not done?"

Leorio wanted to curse back, but he was too out of breath.

Elsewhere, Kurapika did not dodge. He stood before a tree and calmly waited for a Great-Nosed Wild Boar to charge him. When it was less than three meters away, he stepped aside, as lightly as turning a page. The boar could not stop in time and crashed headfirst into the trunk with a dull cracking sound.

Kurapika crouched and examined the boar's nasal bone. "No obvious fracture. I can carry it back directly."

Hanzo ran around a large tree as the sound of hooves tearing up the soil drew closer and closer. At the roots, he suddenly darted left. The boar could not turn in time and rammed headfirst into the trunk. There was a dull bang, the trunk shook, and the boar fell to the ground with stars in its eyes.

"Alright, alright. Be good. The sooner you die, the sooner you move on." He hoisted the boar over his shoulder and patted its belly, then glanced in another direction—a Great-Nosed Wild Boar was charging at Hisoka.

A playing card flashed. The boar fell three steps away from him.

Hisoka put away his cards, grabbed the boar by a hind leg, and walked back with it as though he were carrying a rabbit. His gaze settled on Gon, who was holding down a boar's head in the distance, and the corner of his mouth curled slightly upward.

Saitama entered the forest.

He had just stepped over an exposed tree root when a commotion erupted ahead. A giant boar, larger than an ordinary Great-Nosed Wild Boar by a full size, burst from the bushes. Its eyes were bloodshot, its massive snout blasting heavy breaths as its hooves tore through the mud and it charged straight at him.

The surrounding examinees quickly made way. Hanzo, carrying his boar, turned and saw the scene. He was about to shout something, but suddenly shut his mouth. He remembered the mimic bird in the thick fog that had turned around and flown away on its own.

The giant boar charged before Saitama, its hooves flinging thigh-high mud into the air. Its huge snout aimed at his chest as it rammed forward.

Saitama sighed.

He lowered the hand he had been using to pick at the dirt and raised his other hand, gently placing it on the boar's head.

The boar stopped.

Its four hooves carved four deep trenches into the mud, splattering mud onto the pant leg of an examinee three meters away. Its squeal was trapped in its throat, its entire body held perfectly still by that one hand.

The boar gathered all its strength and thrust upward. Saitama's hand did not move. It pushed again, and still nothing moved. A short, muffled whimper came from its snout as strength gradually drained from its four legs.

Saitama looked down at it. The boar blinked. The red slowly faded from its eyes, returning to a dark brown, and a profound confusion appeared in its gaze. It snorted, its wet snout wrinkling as its throat made the faint whine of a puppy being tugged by the collar.

"Didn't you come charging in pretty fiercely?" Saitama said.

The boar nudged his fingers with its snout. There was no aggression in it at all. It simply nudged him, then gave a snort.

Saitama sized up the boar. This one was big enough. Last month, pork belly had gone on sale at the supermarket, but by the time he got there, it had all been snatched up. He had only managed to get a small piece of tenderloin. At the time, Genos had said, "Master, meat is expensive." Right. Meat was expensive. This one would be enough to eat for at least a week.

"Yeah, this'll do."

He lifted the boar with one hand, slung it over his shoulder, and turned to head back. After two steps, he stopped again, set down the boar, bent over to pick up a vine nearby, and tied its four hooves together in pairs—the exact same way he tied scallions at the supermarket. Once he was done, he hoisted the boar back onto his shoulder. That was more secure.

Hanzo could not help shouting, "Why are you tying it up with vines after catching it?"

"The supermarket where I live ties them up like this."

Hanzo opened his mouth, then closed it again.

Gon waved from atop his boar. "Saitama! How did you catch one so fast?"

"It charged at me by itself."

Gon tilted his head and thought for a moment. "Why?"

"Maybe I looked easy to ram."

Gon felt that explanation was not quite right, but he could not put his finger on why, so he simply grinned. He pressed his knee harder against the boar's head. "Leorio—remember what I told you—once you hold its head down, push it to the side!"

Leorio's muffled answer came from beneath another tree. "The head of my pig is practically running away from all your shouting—ow! It rammed me again!" A dull impact came from that direction, followed immediately by Leorio's voice again. "No, I think I almost got it just now. One more time—you don't worry about me—is your pig tied up yet?"

Saitama did not have time to answer. The bushes behind him suddenly began thrashing wildly.