Classmate Tsunade, It Smells So Good

"But speaking of which, how did you know I'd recently become interested in Medical Ninjas?"

Aokiji found it rather strange. He shouldn't have mentioned this to her himself, right?

"Do you remember Jonin Biwako, who taught you last time?"

"I vaguely remember her. What about her?"

"I'll tell you—she's actually Teacher Yuan Fei's girlfriend. The last time they were chatting, they happened to mention you, and we were there."

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, she's Teacher Yuan Fei's girlfriend. Though they'll probably get married soon."

Married?

Aokiji remembered now. In the original story, Sarutobi Hiruzen did seem to have a wife, but she was killed off as soon as she appeared.

Since she was just a minor character, Aokiji didn't remember her very clearly, much less her name.

But why would Sarutobi Hiruzen mention him for no reason? He shouldn't have had any connection with the future Third Hokage. Their only connection was that he got along well with his three disciples.

Although Sarutobi Hiruzen had yet to become Hokage, as the Second Hokage's disciple, he already held a high position in the village. Did he really have so much free time that he was keeping an eye even on a small fry like him?

Could it be because he was Uchiha Clan, so they wouldn't even spare children? No way, why act like they were guarding against thieves? The great Uchiha Clan hadn't dug up his family grave.

At that thought, cold sweat trickled down Aokiji's back. He hadn't expected that even after lying flat so thoroughly, they would still pay such close attention to him.

If Aokiji had been an adult, he could have understood such wariness. But the damn problem was that he was still a child. Did they really have to go this far?

"Then, um... what did your teacher say about me?"

Luckily, Aokiji had his own informant on Sarutobi Hiruzen's side, so he could ask for information anytime.

"What else could it be? It was about Medical Ninjas. Since nobody wants to become one, it's rare for a sucker—no, someone with such a compassionate heart—to appear. Of course they had to keep an eye on you."

What did she mean by sucker? She might as well make herself clear.

Medical Ninjas were extremely unpopular these days. Even Tsunade, the future representative figure of Medical Ninjas, had no interest in it. That showed just how unwelcome the profession was.

"Why do you want to become a Medical Ninja?"

Orochimaru had analyzed Aokiji's motives last time. He wanted to hear Aokiji say it himself.

"Didn't I already say? Because I'm afraid of dying. I only want to be a Medical Ninja because I won't have to go to the front lines, and my survival rate will be much higher. Honestly, I don't even want to be a Medical Ninja. My dream is to make money, make money, and make even more money, then live a good life.

"If I weren't so absurdly talented as a ninja, those old fossils in my clan might have allowed me to avoid the ninja path. But I figured that no matter how much I struggled, I'd end up becoming a ninja anyway. So I might as well take the initiative and choose the ninja profession most likely to keep me alive. I'd only need to stay in the rear and heal people without worrying about my own safety. Brilliant."

Tsunade's eyelid twitched. "You really are the most cowardly Uchiha Clan I've ever seen."

"Thanks for the compliment."

Aokiji was like a piece of seasoned leather. He did not care what she said.

"What did you mean by that word, 'heal'?"

Tsunade had just heard a strange expression. Judging from the context, he had probably meant treatment.

But what did that have to do with "milk"?

So she was quite curious.

He had let it slip, so Aokiji casually answered, "It doesn't mean anything. It just means treatment."

"Treatment?"

Tsunade frowned. "This 'milk' you mentioned, is it the same milk as in cow's milk?"

"Yeah."

"I don't get it. What does that have to do with treatment?"

Aokiji pursed his lips and hissed through his teeth. "It's a little complicated to explain. Let me think..."

It was a meme from his previous life. Those who got it, got it. But how the hell could this world have that meme?

How was he supposed to explain it?

Tsunade pressed him for an answer. "Does this word 'milk' have some special meaning? Why don't I know about it?"

Aokiji: ...

After a long while, he spoke. "It's called a meme, a rhetorical device. Because of how widely it spreads, its original meaning gradually becomes detached from its original sense and turns into another meaning."

"I don't understand."

"Milk is high in protein, nutritious, and easy to absorb. Generally speaking, after recovering from a serious illness, people often need to consume nutritious things in order to recuperate better. At times like that, high-protein, easily absorbed milk naturally becomes the obvious choice."

"I don't understand."

It was only right that Tsunade did not understand, because even Aokiji himself had no idea what he was talking about.

Still, that speech bought Aokiji enough time to think. He shook his head and put on an unfathomable air, like a teacher lamenting that his student was too slow to catch on. "You really are dense. Fine, I'll see this good deed through to the end."

As he spoke, he folded one arm across his chest and rested his chin on the other hand, muttering as he thought, "How should I explain it to you? Let me think carefully... Oh, I've got it. I'll use a real example from right around us, so you can better understand what a meme is."

Tsunade froze. "A real example from around us?"

"For example: It smells so good."

"It smells so good?"

A smile appeared on Aokiji's lips as he spoke pointedly. "I wonder who it was that acted all stubborn last time, declaring she would rather die than eat stinky tofu. But after that, she ate more than anyone else and even said, 'It smells so good.'"

(¬_¬): "Isn't that right, Tsunade?"

Tsunade: ...

Obviously, the person Aokiji was mocking was none other than Tsunade herself.

Jiraiya snickered nearby. Even Orochimaru could not help but smile.

With old matters being brought up again, Tsunade's cheeks turned bright red, like a freshly boiled Blue Crab. She wished she could find a hole to crawl into.

It was her own fault. That stinky tofu had smelled absolutely awful at first, practically like shit. But after she tried it, ah~ it smelled so good.

She had blurted out those words without thinking. Aokiji had teased her relentlessly over it back then, and now that he had deliberately brought it up again, she could not have been more embarrassed.

"Originally, 'it smells so good' meant that something had a delicious fragrance. But in certain specific situations, the phrase changed its meaning. For example, 'it smells so good' came to mean someone initially rejecting something with great pride, only to get slapped in the face by reality the next second and obediently accept it. Do you understand now, Classmate Tsunade?"

Tsunade gritted her teeth, her face red. "I get it. Stop bringing up 'it smells so good.'"

For some reason, she felt that this phrase might follow her for the rest of her life.

Aokiji stopped teasing her and returned to the previous topic. "Using 'it smells so good' as an example, the word 'milk' also gradually changed under certain circumstances and came to mean a healing effect. For example, if I said, 'Tsunade, give me a couple of milks,' the surface meaning would be nothing special, but the hidden meaning would be interesting. Translated, it means, 'Tsunade, come treat me.' Isn't that fun? And 'milk' can also be combined with other words to form different meanings, like Healer or male Healer, referring to women or men with healing abilities."

Tsunade spat. "Who wants to milk you... uh... treat you. I'm not becoming a Medical Ninja anyway."

Orochimaru said admiringly, "After hearing your words, it feels as though the clouds have parted and the sun has appeared. My mind has been completely enlightened. To make such dry wording so vivid and lifelike, I imagine that if Lord Aokiji became a novelist in the future, he would also become a bestselling author."

A novelist...

With his friend's reminder, Aokiji stroked his chin and seriously considered the matter.

Jiraiya seemed to have made quite a lot of money writing novels. Could he perhaps imitate him? Aokiji did not know how to write novels, but he could copy them—ah, ptooey! Could a transmigrator's actions be called plagiarism? That was called paying tribute!

That was called drawing inspiration!

He could write something like Lord of the Rings from memory. Wouldn't that be an overwhelming blow?

Things like Dwarves, Elves, demons, Dragons, and the like—how could people in this world have ever seen such things? By then, wouldn't he earn so much in royalties that his hands cramped?

Elves in particular would definitely cause a frenzy among gentlemen. Golden hair, fair skin, beautiful features despite being so old... Why did that look... uh... like someone? At that thought, Aokiji gave someone a meaningful glance, thinking that a pair of pointed ears would make it perfect.

Tsunade asked strangely, "Why are you looking at me?"

"Nothing. Classmate Tsunade, you're amazing!"

Tsunade: ??? "That expression of yours makes me feel like you're plotting something evil."

Aokiji coughed twice, composed himself, and said solemnly, "Classmate Tsunade, are you interested in working toward becoming a Medical Ninja?"

"Not interested. Unless my brain gets crushed in a door, there's no way I'd become one."

Tsunade said she was not stupid. Only a ghost would want to become some Medical Ninja.