Jiraiya Was a Genius, After All

Tsunade froze. "People?"

"People aren't plants or trees; how can they be without feelings? If I really lived that way, then this long life would be far too bleak. I don't think my deceased family would want to see me like that. That's why I need friends like a normal person, friends to accompany me through this long life. The three of you are the friends I chose."

People aren't plants or trees; how can they be without feelings?

Orochimaru carefully savored those words and could not help but sigh.

Lord Aokiji truly was talented.

Just a few casual words from him had given Orochimaru so much insight.

In Orochimaru's eyes, Aokiji sleeping in school every day was absolutely not laziness as outsiders described it. It was because he was too intelligent, so intelligent that nothing could hold his interest.

Chosen?

Tsunade was completely bewildered. "What do you mean?"

"I told you before, people are creatures that seek benefit and avoid harm. Since I can't stop my classmates from becoming ninjas and seeking death, then I have to select the people most likely to survive missions as my friends. From my observations, the three of you should be the three most talented students in this class besides me.

"If nothing unexpected happens, the three of you should become very strong in the future. Naturally, your chances of dying during missions will be relatively low.

"Of course, that's only if we get along well. If we can't play together, I won't have deeper interactions with you or regard you as friends."

Upon hearing this, each of the three had their own thoughts.

Jiraiya was the first to be delighted.

Ever since he had started school, he had always been at the bottom of the class. Everyone around him mocked him as an idiot.

He did not want to admit it, but Jiraiya knew better than anyone what level he was at. He had never expected the genius Aokiji to think so highly of him.

Orochimaru, meanwhile, suddenly understood. At last, he understood why Aokiji had deliberately approached him that day. As for having ulterior motives, Orochimaru did not consider that a problem. Instead, it showed Aokiji's honesty. He did not hide anything, and he genuinely considered Orochimaru a friend.

Like Orochimaru, Tsunade did not take Aokiji's ulterior motives to heart. Her own motives for hanging around Aokiji had not been all that pure either. She had craved the food he made. It was only through gradually deepening their interactions that they had ultimately become good friends.

Still, there was one thing she did not understand. "That does make some sense, but if that's the case, why did this guy Jiraiya catch your eye? I admit he can play with you, since you're both huge perverts. Birds of a feather flock together."

Aokiji: ...

Jiraiya: ...

"But as you said, you have another condition for choosing friends: they must possess outstanding ninja talent. Forgive my bluntness, but I really can't see a single shred of ninja talent in Jiraiya. You could say he has nothing but flaws. In Teacher Yuan Fei's tests, he falls for every obvious trap. No matter how I look at it, he seems like the type to die first during a mission. That's far from your standard, isn't it?"

Tsunade's analysis was logical and well-supported. She had practically analyzed the color of Jiraiya's underwear, leaving him utterly mortified.

"Hey, Tsunade, isn't that going too far?"

Jiraiya was miserable. He had not expected Tsunade to think of him that way, but after thinking it over, it really was fucking true...

Aokiji said, "You underestimate Jiraiya too much."

Jiraiya looked at him, deeply moved. "Aokiji..."

"Well, though everything you said was right."

Jiraiya: ...

Tsunade laughed. "That's what I thought. Don't tell me you lowered your standards just because you and Jiraiya are the same kind of pervert."

"I'm not the kind of person who lowers my standards for that reason. There's naturally a reason Jiraiya can become my friend." Aokiji said calmly, "Have you never considered why you and Orochimaru, the top students in the class, were assigned to a team with the dead last Jiraiya?"

Tsunade answered as though it were obvious. "Wasn't it to balance the team's strength?"

Aokiji shook his head. "You're thinking too simply. If it were purely about balancing strength, then either you or Orochimaru should have been assigned to another team and replaced with an average-level teammate.

"One at the top, one in the middle, and one at the bottom—that would be the balance of strength you're talking about. But clearly, that wasn't the result. I remember you said your Instructor Jonin, Sarutobi Hiruzen, was the Second Hokage's disciple. Then his strength must be among the best in the village. So here's the question: you, Orochimaru, and Sarutobi Hiruzen are all outstanding people. Why put a dead last like Jiraiya in the team?"

Tsunade thought for a moment, then looked at Jiraiya, who wore a completely confused expression. Extremely reluctantly, she said, "Could this guy be some kind of hidden genius?"

Aokiji shrugged. "What else could it be...?"

What? I'm a fucking genius?

Jiraiya was dumbfounded and scratched his head.

This was the first time in his life anyone had called him a genius.

How did I not know that? It felt like a poor young man who had lived in misery all his life suddenly being told by his poor old father one day, "Son, your dad is actually a super-rich second-generation heir. I have enough money to circle the globe."

"I raised you poor all these years to temper you, so you would understand the practical spirit of enduring hardship and working hard. Now that the time is right, it's time to tell you."

At this moment, Jiraiya was beside himself with joy. He threw back his head and laughed wildly. "Wahahaha! I knew it, I knew it! I'm a genius! The Toad Sage truly did not deceive me. Who else could be the Child of Prophecy?"

Watching Jiraiya strut so smugly made Tsunade feel as though she had eaten a fly. She looked toward Aokiji with questioning eyes, as if saying, "Aokiji, hurry up and tell me that was all a joke, right?" Aokiji gave a bitter smile. "I'm sorry, but in a sense, Jiraiya really is a genius, because he has something none of the three of us possess. And that thing is closely related to the most important talent of a ninja."

"Aokiji, you really are my soulmate. I love you to death. Mwah!"

"Get lost. I'm not interested in men." Aokiji shoved away Jiraiya, who had forced himself closer, with a look of disgust.

"Hehe, sorry. I got too excited." Jiraiya rubbed his hands eagerly. "Hurry and tell me. What hidden talent do I have? How did I not know?"

"Lustfulness."

"Huh?"

Jiraiya's smile instantly froze.

Perhaps that was not obvious enough, so Aokiji deliberately added in a serious tone, "And you're extremely lustful."

Jiraiya looked at Aokiji as if his eyes were saying, Are you fucking kidding me?

Tsunade laughed so hard she bent over.

Orochimaru covered his mouth and chuckled.

Aokiji said seriously, "I'm not joking."

The three of them said, "Uh..."

Aokiji continued, "Jiraiya is very lustful. That's a flaw, but it's also an advantage."

Tsunade was utterly speechless. How the hell was lustfulness an advantage?

She was beginning to suspect that Aokiji was seriously talking nonsense just to tease Jiraiya.

"Aokiji, you're not making fun of me, are you?"

Jiraiya had at least some self-awareness. He admitted he was lustful, but he was not shameless enough to claim that lustfulness had anything to do with ninja talent, let alone the most important ninja talent.

Aokiji said solemnly, "How could I be joking? I'm being very serious, okay? Jiraiya has enormous chakra potential, and that chakra may even exceed the combined amount of chakra possessed by me, Tsunade, and Orochimaru."

With Jiraiya's potential of 10 in spirit, his chakra truly might exceed the combined amount of the three of them.

Him?

Just him?

Orochimaru and Tsunade both looked toward Jiraiya at the same time. Their faces practically screamed disbelief.

Questioned by the two of them, Jiraiya raised his voice to bolster himself. "What? You think I can't?"

Tsunade shook her head. "I don't believe it."

Orochimaru echoed, "Neither do I."

Jiraiya shouted, "Hey, you two! That's enough! Am I really that pathetic in your eyes?"

Orochimaru and Tsunade nodded in agreement at the same time.

Jiraiya: ...

He looked toward Aokiji with hopeful eyes.

No matter what he said, those two would not believe him. He might as well hand the "microphone" to his best friend and let him speak for him.

Aokiji smiled. "You should still remember what chakra is made of, right?"

Orochimaru nodded. "Chakra generally refers to the product of spiritual energy and physical energy mixed evenly. Am I right, Lord Aokiji?"

"Yes. Once you know what chakra is composed of, you only need to make a simple reverse deduction to roughly determine what kind of people possess enormous chakra. Likewise, improving one's chakra mainly comes down to strengthening those two aspects."

"Powerful physical energy and spiritual energy. Tsunade and I are very typical examples because of the special traits of our respective clans.

"The Uchiha Clan is born with powerful spiritual energy, while the Senju Clan, in contrast, is born with powerful physical energy. Therefore, members of our two clans possess far more chakra than ordinary people."

Tsunade glanced at Jiraiya. "In other words, you mean this guy Jiraiya also has either powerful spiritual energy or powerful physical energy?"

Aokiji agreed. "Yes."

Tsunade did not understand. "But what does that have to do with being lustful?"

Aokiji smiled. "Because lustful people often secrete more male hormones."

"What the heck are male hormones?"

Not only was Jiraiya confused, even Tsunade was confused.

"So-called male hormones... uh, that's extracurricular material. It's complicated to explain. You only need to know that lustful people tend to have more energy. In other words, they possess comparatively stronger physical energy. If I ranked the three of you by chakra volume, it should be Jiraiya greater than Tsunade, Tsunade greater than Orochimaru. Jiraiya has more chakra because he's lustful. Tsunade, you were born into the Senju Clan, so your chakra should also be quite good, placing you second. As for Orochimaru, because he isn't lustful... well, he should have the least chakra."

Orochimaru: ...

Aokiji did not dare say for certain whether lustfulness had anything to do with physical energy, but Jiraiya's enormous chakra definitely had a great deal to do with his physical energy.

Just look at how lustful Jiraiya was in the original story. It would not be surprising if he was an "athlete" in private. Aokiji was not looking down on him from some moral high ground—he did not even want to stand on that cold moral high ground. He was merely stating facts. Even in his fifties, Jiraiya still had such thick hair. Without powerful physical energy supporting him, who would believe it?

Tsunade shook her head. "I don't really understand."

Aokiji enjoyed teaching and asked gently, "What don't you understand? Tell me."

Tsunade asked in return, "Aren't you lustful too?"

"Why are you so certain Jiraiya has more chakra than the three of us combined?"

(-_-||) Aokiji said, "Mine is within the normal range for a man, okay?"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? But I remember you said your dream was to marry two wives in the future. I don't see how that's something a normal person would say."

Aokiji said gravely, "I'm being prudent."

Tsunade said speechlessly, "What does that have to do with being prudent?"

Aokiji counted on his fingers and said seriously, "Think about it. If I married only one wife, and something unfortunate happened and she died, wouldn't I become all alone? If I marry two and one dies, I'll still have one left. It's like adding another layer of insurance."

Aokiji's argument was logical and well-supported, leaving Tsunade completely speechless. She had almost believed him. Aokiji was indeed smart, but he always refused to use that intelligence for anything proper. His mind was full of strange and bizarre things.

Jiraiya's eyes lit up. So there was such a method! He was instantly enlightened. Aokiji could actually make something like that sound so righteous.

When it came to lustfulness, Jiraiya had never been stingy about investing talent points.

He quickly drew inferences from Aokiji's prudence. If anyone called him lustful in the future, he would retort that he was being prudent. Ninjas had a high-risk profession, so he had to hurry and leave behind more descendants. Since having only one child made it easier for the line to die out, the more the better.

Tsunade rubbed her forehead. Her head hurt.

She did not want to keep circling around this topic. If they continued, she felt Aokiji's crooked logic would lead her astray. "Anyway, I understand what you mean. You want to become a Medical Ninja because you don't want to see your companions sacrificed, right? I never expected you to be so human after all. I'll reluctantly count that as acknowledging you."

"Oh, not really. The main reason I want to become a Medical Ninja is because I'm afraid of dying too."

Tsunade: ...