My Name Is Lu Ye, and I'm Here to Blow Things Up

Jinbao asked Lu Ye, "So, how are you going to get your blond Pops to change his mind?"

Lu Ye braced himself against the headboard and rose unsteadily. He tipped his head back and drained his bottle of milk, then tossed the empty bottle back to the nurse.

"Did you know? There are many kinds of children. Some come to repay a kindness, and some come for revenge..."

Jinbao instinctively chimed in, "You're definitely here for revenge."

"Wrong!"

A smile rose at the corners of Lu Ye's mouth. He stuck out his round little belly like a demon baby descending upon the world. "I'm here to blow things up!"

Black lines appeared on Jinbao's forehead.

All the good deeds you did in your last life must have been accidents, right? Deep down, you're just a rotten-hearted thug, aren't you?

Lu Ye didn't know what Jinbao was thinking, or he would surely have given him two more knocks on the head.

Your whole future is tied to me, so how can you still not know who's in charge?

Lu Ye declared in high spirits, "I must properly educate that old blond who doesn't know his own limits."

Jinbao muttered, "That old blond is your actual father, you know."

Lu Ye was deeply distressed. "A rotten noble who's no better than vermin, imagining he can lower himself and fit into the lives of ordinary people. What arrogance!"

Jinbao thought, Just now you were jumping around like a frantic monkey, all to preserve that rotten, verminous life.

Lu Ye was filled with righteous indignation. "Does he think ordinary people live some idyllic life of men tilling the fields and women weaving cloth? How could vermin looking down from on high understand ordinary people's struggles in life?"

Jinbao grumbled inwardly, As a Double-flower Red Pole, I don't think you ever struggled in life either, did you? You struggled on the line between life and death.

Lu Ye waved his little hand. "Let me teach him a lesson and show him how helpless and lost an ordinary father feels when his baby keeps him up at night."

Jinbao gave him a complicated look. You're a rebellious thug who never got around to carrying on the Lu family line. Where did you get that kind of life experience?

Lu Ye shot him a sidelong glance and gave him another hard rap on the head.

Damn it, what's with that look? Everything you're thinking is written all over your face!

Jinbao rolled around on the bed, whimpering.

Lu Ye crooked a finger at the young butler.

Sullivan immediately came over and respectfully awaited his orders, even though Lu Ye couldn't even control his own bladder or bowels.

Lu Ye pointed outside the door.

Sullivan understood at once and carried Lu Ye out.

After the two left, several scantily clad nurses whispered among themselves.

"Lord Saint Longinus is so energetic. The other children fell asleep before they even left the delivery room."

"And he's never cried once. What a little man."

"Hey, don't tell me none of you noticed. Hasn't Lord Saint Longinus been talking to something this whole time?"

"N-no way. Maybe he was just babbling..."

"Idiot, what newborn baby starts babbling right away?"

"It sounded like he was talking, but not to us... It was like he kept talking to the head of the bed!"

"Girls, back where I'm from, they say little children can see unclean things..."

"Hey! Don't scare me!"

The nurses huddled together, trembling. Mustering their courage together, they slowly brushed their fingers through the space where Jinbao had been standing...

There was nothing there.

Inside the enormous manor castle, Lu Ye relied on his memory to direct his human mount, Sullivan, toward the delivery room they had just left.

By the time they arrived, the room was empty.

Sullivan suddenly understood. "Lord Saint Longinus, are you looking for your father and mother?"

Lu Ye gave the young butler a thumbs-up in approval.

Sullivan was the Donquixote Family's childcare butler, responsible for looking after Celestial Dragons under the age of three.

Though he was young, he had already cared for more than a dozen babies.

A newborn child who not only had abundant energy but also felt a strong desire to be close to his parents... That was unusual.

If he had been an ordinary family's child, he would already have been taken away for dissection. But Celestial Dragons were descendants of gods, so it was only natural for them to display ancestral traits and be precocious.

The first rule of the Holy Land's strange tales: obey every order a Celestial Dragon gave, without thinking or asking questions.

Sullivan brought Lu Ye to the Donquixote Family's bedchamber. Guards in medieval plate armor patrolled on either side, casting scrutinizing glances at them from time to time.

Once they made out the Donquixote Family crest on Lu Ye's diaper, they immediately offered respectful knightly salutes.

Floating nearby, Jinbao muttered, "Little Lu Ye, you can't talk right now. How are you going to communicate with your blond Pops in a moment?"

A smile rose at the corners of Lu Ye's mouth. "What? Do I have to tell you I learned sign language too?"

Jinbao scratched his head. "You're a thug. Where did you get so much compassion?"

Sullivan explained the situation to the guard on night duty at the door, who immediately went inside to inform Homing.

"Is that Longinus? Honestly, this child... Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! I knew it. There's no boy who doesn't love his father!"

A man's excited voice came from inside.

Even as a father of three, he could still be so excited by a child's birth that he couldn't sleep at night.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jinbao glimpsed the increasingly wicked smile on Lu Ye's face and felt genuinely sorry for his blond Pops.

"Um... Little Lu Ye, this guy may not be very bright, but he really does care about you. Could you go a little easy on him?"

Lu Ye rolled his eyes at him. "Pah! With that tiny scrap of brain, you think you're fit to laugh at someone else? Watch me work."

Jinbao sighed. His blond Pops would have to fend for himself.

Homing came jogging out in a loose white nightgown, his slippers pattering against the floor.

"Longinus, did you miss Father? Father will hold you while we sleep tonight."

Lu Ye rolled his eyes, wary of the old fellow's dirty mouth launching a sneak attack.

Sullivan handed Lu Ye to his blond Pops and praised him.

"Lord Saint Homing, Lord Saint Longinus is truly exceptionally intelligent, seeking out his parents of his own accord on the very day he was born."

Homing raised Lu Ye up and laughed heartily. "Of course! This is our Longinus, after all."

Lu Ye would be sleeping here tonight, so Sullivan had the guards summon the nurses from the nursery hall to wait outside the bedchamber for orders.

With creatures like children, physical separation was the only way to escape their troublesome nature.

Requests for food and drink at all hours, sudden bouts of pooping and peeing, and even crying for no reason at all.

Sullivan didn't believe Saint Homing would really keep Saint Longinus here all night. He expected that once Homing couldn't stand the disturbance anymore, he would have Sullivan carry him away.

That was what Sullivan thought, but he could only do so if Saint Homing personally gave the order.

Even a young Celestial Dragon's will could not be defied, or one would be charged with bullying a young master.

Candles had already been lit in the bedchamber, filling it with light.

Behind the antique dark-gold bed was an entire wall of books, and a thick stack also sat on the table beside the bed.

Beneath the snow-white bay window was a semicircular golden tea table, set with a full set of intricately patterned bone china tea ware, with a high-backed wicker chair on either side.

Presumably, this was the bedchamber of the parents he had gained so easily.

His mother was nowhere to be seen. She had probably just given birth and was resting in another bedchamber under a nurse's care.

That was just as well. No innocent bystander would be caught up in it.

Homing set Lu Ye on a pillow at the head of the bed. The two then stared at each other, Homing scratching his head, unsure what to do.

It was already late at night, so he should have been coaxing the child to sleep, but Lu Ye's wide-open blue eyes suggested he had no intention of sleeping at all.

Although Homing was already a father of three, his parenting experience amounted to picking up a child and playing with him until he burst into tears, then handing him over to the childcare butler.

He didn't even know what temperature a baby's milk should be.

"This is difficult..."

Homing smiled wryly and called out, "Sullivan, please come in for a moment."

The waiting young butler immediately jogged in, bringing several baby bottles with him and placing them on the table beside the bed.

"Your orders, Saint Homing?"

Homing cleared his throat. "Well, Sullivan, I read in a book that I should be putting Longinus to sleep now. Is that right?"

Sullivan bowed and replied, "Yes, Lord Saint Homing.

"Babies are generally very sleepy and spend most of their time asleep until they turn three, but Lord Saint Longinus...

"Seems especially energetic."

Is that so?

Homing realized it belatedly.

No wonder, when he was raising Doffy and Rosy, they had always seemed listless and always cried when he picked them up.

It turned out they hadn't slept enough. He had always thought he hadn't played with them enough, so they weren't close to him.

"Has Longinus not slept at all?"

"No, Lord Saint Homing, not once."

Homing kept scratching his head. He had thought Sullivan was exaggerating his praise, but it turned out to be true.

Homing leaned down and examined Lu Ye. "What should I do in this situation? There's nothing wrong with my Longinus, is there?"

Sullivan shook his head. "We've never encountered this before, but a doctor in the Holy Land has already examined Lord Saint Longinus and found him to be in excellent health.

"If he's simply energetic, that shouldn't be a bad thing."

Homing stroked the two tufts of his mustache. "Then what should I do now? What can I do to get him to sleep?"

Sullivan said, "Singing and telling stories should both work. The young masters will have trouble sleeping when they're a little older, and that's how we handle it."

Homing's eyes lit up, and he cleared his throat. "I understand. You may go for now."

Sullivan left, and Homing climbed a ladder up the bookshelf. Before long, he came down carrying a stack of books.